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Definitions by Richard Tator

Shqueefert

The ultimate trifecta of biological betrayal. It occurs when a person is on their period and experiences a simultaneous shart (farting and accidentally pooping) and a queef (trapped vaginal air escaping), usually triggered by a single sneeze or cough. It represents a total loss of pelvic floor control and results in an immediate lifestyle emergency.
I sneezed on day two of my cycle and suffered a devastating Shqueefert . My pants are ruined, my dignity is gone, and I need to buy new bedsheets immediately

Shqueefert

The ultimate trifecta of biological betrayal. It occurs when a person is on their period and experiences a simultaneous shart (farting and accidentally pooping) and a queef (trapped vaginal air escaping), usually triggered by a single sneeze or cough. It represents a total loss of pelvic floor control and results in an immediate lifestyle emergency.
I sneezed on day two of my cycle and suffered a devastating Shqueefert . My pants are ruined, my dignity is gone, and I need to buy new bedsheets immediately

Vart Shart

A catastrophic dual-ended exhaust failure that occurs when a person is on their period. Without the warning of a sneeze or cough, the pelvic muscles simultaneously release trapped vaginal air (a queef/vart) and a liquid-fart (shart). It is a silent but violent localized disaster that instantly ruins underwear
“I was just sitting on the couch watching TV when a sudden Vart Shart hit me out of nowhere. I had to crab-walk straight to the shower”