3 definitions by Prof. Wreck
The new wave of rotten garage music performed by untalented white suburban and rural 16-28 year olds. Originating in the foothills of Appalachia, this bland combo of hardcore/thrash/bad cover songs is performed at your local roller rink or bingo hall, with a typical attendance of about 80; mostly young impressionable girls who sleep with/go down on all members of said bands.
Your typical Fayettenam Metal band has a name in their title or a very short name that's easy for their stoner fans to remember. Examples include Land Mynd, Slick & the Uglies, Bow Down and Mental Pain. Many more exist but don't advertise.
Songs sung by these bands range from new Green Day and A7x to old 90's alt-rock set to a hardcore tempo, wherein the singer attempts to scream like an old-school death metaller, failing miserably. Guitarists tend to show off on stage, usually by imitating Jimi Hendrix. This is a prime example of their lack of life focus, as they spend most waking hours practicing an instrument that will make them no money.
Beware negativity around Fayettenam bands, as they do not handle criticism well, and you might wind up getting beaten up by their fans and harems.
Your typical Fayettenam Metal band has a name in their title or a very short name that's easy for their stoner fans to remember. Examples include Land Mynd, Slick & the Uglies, Bow Down and Mental Pain. Many more exist but don't advertise.
Songs sung by these bands range from new Green Day and A7x to old 90's alt-rock set to a hardcore tempo, wherein the singer attempts to scream like an old-school death metaller, failing miserably. Guitarists tend to show off on stage, usually by imitating Jimi Hendrix. This is a prime example of their lack of life focus, as they spend most waking hours practicing an instrument that will make them no money.
Beware negativity around Fayettenam bands, as they do not handle criticism well, and you might wind up getting beaten up by their fans and harems.
Boy 1: I can play the guitar! And I know every Metallica and Green Day song! Let's form a band!
Boy 2: I love emo but won't admit it! I'll be in your band and we can impress the local school girls and they'll have to sleep with us! Let's go putz around the mall and hang up fliers!
Boy 3: Let's get stoned first and then tell everyone of our Fayettenam Metal, because we're proud to be the scum of the earth!
Girl 1: I want to sleep with some long-haired potheads and maybe take a shot in the mouth by a horrible bass player.
Girl 2: No problem! Let's put our diaphragms in and go to the Fayettenam Metal show. There will be plenty for the both of us.
Boy 2: I love emo but won't admit it! I'll be in your band and we can impress the local school girls and they'll have to sleep with us! Let's go putz around the mall and hang up fliers!
Boy 3: Let's get stoned first and then tell everyone of our Fayettenam Metal, because we're proud to be the scum of the earth!
Girl 1: I want to sleep with some long-haired potheads and maybe take a shot in the mouth by a horrible bass player.
Girl 2: No problem! Let's put our diaphragms in and go to the Fayettenam Metal show. There will be plenty for the both of us.
by Prof. Wreck June 4, 2007
1: One who eats far too much in one sitting and is aware of their habit, but continues to chow.
2: A talentless bass guitar player from the foothills of the Allegheny mountain region who uses lessons as an excuse to meet girls. Early member of the growing trend of "hardcore" garage bands who can't play music but still garner radio play and media attention.
2: A talentless bass guitar player from the foothills of the Allegheny mountain region who uses lessons as an excuse to meet girls. Early member of the growing trend of "hardcore" garage bands who can't play music but still garner radio play and media attention.
1: I know I asked for a super-size but I'm starting to feel like a fattie. Pass the salt.
2: Nick was only one lesson above the girl he was tutoring, but he could slap bass like the Fattie he is and that's good enough for her and his bandmates.
2: Nick was only one lesson above the girl he was tutoring, but he could slap bass like the Fattie he is and that's good enough for her and his bandmates.
by Prof. Wreck May 9, 2007
Alternative 90's and later rock music wherein the band's lead singer constantly sounds like he's pinching a cement loaf. First made popular by Bruce Springsteen, later adapted by Top 40 crackers like Nickelback and Three Days Grace.
"Hey, did you hear that new Chad Kroeger song?"
"No way, I can't stand that constipated rock. He sounds like he needs a stool softener!"
"Well, it's still better than screamo"
"No way, I can't stand that constipated rock. He sounds like he needs a stool softener!"
"Well, it's still better than screamo"
by Prof. Wreck June 22, 2007