Definitions by Poor Woobie

New Jersey Paper Route 

A New Jersey Paper Route occurs when an intoxicated person proceeds to vomit and/or defecate on his neighbors' front porches and/or driveways while attempting to walk back to his/her house.

After a night of heavy drinking and pounding techno music, Salvatore made the mistake of stopping by Tony's Diner for a meatball sub. The greasy meal combined with his already drunken state caused him to vomit on one neighbor's driveway, and have a violent bowel movement on another neighbor's front porch. When he finally made it to his front door, Salvatore could only grimace at the repurcussions his New Jersey Paper Route would usher in the following day.

New Jersey Paper Route by Poor Woobie March 11, 2008

air-conditioned Hell 

An office/cubicle farm/building where white-collar corporate drones while away their lives.

Air-conditioned Hell is also any corporate job that one finds demeaning, boring, repetitive, or unsatisfying.

While not hard work in the sense of manual labor or any physically demanding job, putting in 40 hours a week in air-conditioned Hell can take its toll on a person, often resulting in one or more of the following: fatigue, irritability, contempt, rage, and excessive attendance of happy hours.

I have to drive for an hour in traffic each morning so that I can take my seat in air-conditioned Hell.

I hate going to bed on Sunday night, because I know that when I wake up in the morning, I'll have another week of air-conditioned Hell to endure.

air-conditioned Hell by Poor Woobie March 10, 2008