PhatSphoincter's definitions

Disco-Rice Confetti Popper

The act of filling up one's rectum with maggots, then explosively farting them out at someone, ideally at a birthday party or other special occasion

"We're gonna give Joe a Disco-Rice Confetti Popper during halftime"

by PhatSphoincter September 23, 2025

The Mickey Mouse Oil Change

A sex act where one person dons mouse ears, suspenders, and large white gloves and uses a slinky to gape another's rectum open, spilling out the contents. When emptied, a funnel is inserted and filled with a mixture of vinegar and feces

"Phil's grandma is a freak in bed! Last night she gave me The Mickey Mouse Oil Change"

by PhatSphoincter September 26, 2025

Oktoberfest Wad

A wet piece of cardboard or paper that has been left in one's rectum along with sliced sausage, yeast, and brine until it has soaked up all the moisture and turned into a large, grotesque mass.

"If my boss doesn't accept my sexual advances soon, I'll have no choice but to leave an Oktoberfest Wad on her desk"

by PhatSphoincter October 3, 2025

The Improvised Human-Musket

The act of eating jalapeno chili dip, sauerkraut, boiled eggs, hot links, and kimchi, then washing it down with fireball whiskey and pickle juice, and plugging the anus with a baseball. When threatened or ready to prank an unlucky fellow, use the gas and waste that has been battling it out in your GI tract to propel the baseball with breakneck speed, similar to that of a musket ball projectile.

Officer: "so how exactly did your assailant die?"

Victim: "I didn't have my carry gun on me so I had to use The Improvised Human-Musket tactic. Guess I'll have to start the 'reload' process in the morning."

by PhatSphoincter October 27, 2025

Wisconsin Bread-Bowl

The act of smashing several slices of white bread into a gaping anus, and using a fist to pack the bread to the walls, creating a sort of soup bowl, and then filling it with cheese and semen. The 'bowl' is then farted out onto a table and covered with a cloche to keep warm.

"I wish my therapist would quit being a prude and give me a Wisconsin Bread-Bowl."

by PhatSphoincter December 23, 2025

Oklahoma Hair Dryer

When a woman wets her hair and face, then sucks it from the back, while the man tries to dry her forehead and hair with farts

Tiffany won't be into work for a few days. I gave her the Oklahoma Hair Dryer last night and now she's got pink eye.

by PhatSphoincter December 16, 2025

GrundleButter Keelhaul

A punishment in which an unlucky fellow is strapped to a pole or board and then held up by several men and swiped back and forth under an unwashed obese man's undercarriage, from the top of the crack to the back of the sack, marinating in the unholy 'butter' found therein.

"Jon said he doesn't like Star Wars, so he has been sentenced to a GrundleButter Keelhaul"

by PhatSphoincter October 3, 2025