Definitions by PhatSphoincter

Bloodfart Apocalypse

1)The aftermath of having eaten too many spicy foods and pickled foods together, resulting in the kind of flatulence that is explosive, hot, humid, and/or explosive in nature, tearing hemorrhoids on the way out.
2)when one shits themselves to death after being poisoned or plagued

"this gas could gag a shithouse rat, hopefully it doesn't end up being a Bloodfart Apocalypse."

Bloodfart Apocalypse by PhatSphoincter October 2, 2025

GrundleButter Keelhaul 

A hazing ritual or punishment in which an unlucky fellow is strapped to a pole or board, and with the help of many assistants is moved back and forth under an obese unwashed man's undercarriage, from the top of the crack to the back of the sack, in a wiping or scrubbing motion until dead or unconscious.

"Greg informed us that Revenge of the Sith is his least favorite Star Wars film, so I petition that his punishment will be a GrundleButter Keelhaul."

GrundleButter Keelhaul by PhatSphoincter October 1, 2025

Oktoberfest Wad 

A wet piece of cardboard or paper that has been left in one's rectum along with sliced sausage, yeast, and brine until it has soaked up all the moisture and turned into a large, grotesque mass.

"If my boss doesn't accept my sexual advances soon, I'll have no choice but to leave an Oktoberfest Wad on her desk"

Oktoberfest Wad by PhatSphoincter September 29, 2025

The Mickey Mouse Oil Change

A sex act where one person dons mouse ears, suspenders, and large white gloves and uses a slinky to gape another's rectum open, spilling out the contents. When emptied, a funnel is inserted and filled with a mixture of vinegar and feces

"Phil's grandma is a freak in bed! Last night she gave me The Mickey Mouse Oil Change"

The Mickey Mouse Oil Change by PhatSphoincter September 26, 2025

Homeboy Butter Churn 

When you give yourself a buttermilk enema (and keep it in) and let one or more homies churn it into butter via anal sex

"guys make sure you RSVP for the Homeboy Butter Churn this weekend, I need to know how many bottles of buttermilk to get"

Homeboy Butter Churn by PhatSphoincter September 24, 2025

Brownwater Balloon-Bash 

A recreational activity where a group of friends diarrhea into a water balloon, then tie it off and take turns biting it. He who gets a chunky surprise loses

"Alright everyone, after thanksgiving dinner Uncle Ron is gonna gather everyone for the annual Family Brownwater Balloon-Bash"

Brownwater Balloon-Bash by PhatSphoincter September 24, 2025

Disco-Rice Confetti Popper 

The act of filling up one's rectum with maggots, then explosively farting them out at someone, ideally at a birthday party or other special occasion

"We're gonna give Joe a Disco-Rice Confetti Popper during halftime"

Disco-Rice Confetti Popper by PhatSphoincter September 23, 2025