3 definition by Ontology Mustard

After the boom of soft porn in the 1970s and the mainstream advent of hard porn in the 80s-90s, smart porn is the inevitable market leader in adult entertainment for the the 21st century.

Taking its name from the international dynamics of the behaviour exerted by nations in the form of 'hard power' and 'soft power' (coercion via military might and co-option and attraction, respectively), 'smart power' combines elements of these two to achieve more than each is capable of individually.

Therefore:

Smart porn blends the best elements of hard and soft pornography, (doing away with 'gonzo' bullshit and exploiting the best angles, as well as genuinely attractive actors to capture authentic eroticism and artistic integrity without sacrificing the visually explicit element of the audiovisual experience. In addition, great importance is given to aspects such as high production value, quality of location and engaging storyline.

Examples of smart porn companies include Private Media Group and Marc Dorcel (proving once again that the Europeans are the real masters in this long standing artform). Smart porn is aimed just as much at the adventurous female audience as at the typical male target.

Noun.

1) The condition contracted by a man's penis subsequent to a prolonged duration of time during which coitus has been completely lacking. Said period of celibacy may be externally imposed (due to continual failure to get laid despite best efforts) or self-enforced (a deliberate abstention from sexual activity for various and unexplained reasons).

2) Noun used to describe a refusal of sex by a male to his partner, generally to punish said partner for perceived or actual wrongdoing. However, due to man's extreme inability to successfully refrain from sex when offered it, this condition is extremely rare indeed, and typically only lasts for a matter of minutes or hours before thawing occurs.

The act of dropping a godawful burst of bowel gas, typically while surrounded by a densely packed crowd and often in a captive environment, such as the London underground or a bus with standing room only.