When one brings ones hands up to the eyes forming a binocular-type shape using ones fingers to enhance vision. To further increase vision, one can add extra fingers to the Jnoculars.
Jnoculars are proven to increase vision by up to 99.9%
Jnoculars are proven to increase vision by up to 99.9%
Friend 1: "Can you see that person over on that hill?"
Friend 2: "Hold on, (Raises Jnoculars to eyes), ah yes! I can see he is wearing a yellow top and brown trousers."
Friend 1: "Gosh! I better get myself a pair of Jnoculars!"
Friend 2: "Hold on, (Raises Jnoculars to eyes), ah yes! I can see he is wearing a yellow top and brown trousers."
Friend 1: "Gosh! I better get myself a pair of Jnoculars!"
by On The Juice October 30, 2022
When one wants to leave on time but gets grabbed right at the last minute resulting in a drastically offset end of the day.
by On The Juice March 12, 2020
When one is speaking clear English in ones head but the words that come out are just sounds and do not make any sense at all. The Jamumble is often spoken very fast.
Past tense: Jamumbled
Past tense: Jamumbled
Colleague 1: *Runs into room with excitement* - "I blur boff san ting wit moff mull!!"
Colleague 2: *Turns to Colleague* "What did he just say?"
Colleague 3: "I have no idea, it was all a Jamumble!"
Colleague 2: *Turns to Colleague* "What did he just say?"
Colleague 3: "I have no idea, it was all a Jamumble!"
by On The Juice November 04, 2022
A person who, upon being reminded of a prior request to procure an item—having entirely forgotten to do so—claims with confident falsehood that the order was already placed, often citing obscure delays or an exaggerated lead time. Subsequently, gripped by guilt or panic, the individual places the order belatedly in a clandestine effort to preserve the illusion of diligence.
"Despite never having contacted the supplier, Reginald, a masterful Pershorder, assured Lady Cartwright the candelabras were en route from Vienna, then hastily ordered them that afternoon."
by On The Juice May 23, 2025
A person who, upon being reminded of a prior request to procure an item—having entirely forgotten to do so—claims with confident falsehood that the order was already placed, often citing obscure delays or an exaggerated lead time. Subsequently, gripped by guilt or panic, the individual places the order belatedly in a clandestine effort to preserve the illusion of diligence.
E.g. "Despite never having contacted the supplier, Reginald, a masterful Pershorderer, assured Lady Cartwright the candelabras were en route from Vienna, then hastily ordered them that afternoon."
by On The Juice May 20, 2025
When one is contacted via telephone and asked to "pop round to the office". When one does so, the conversation promptly goes off topic and results in an extended stay in the "office" reducing work productivity by at least 90%
Colleague 1: "Did you get lost?"
Colleague 2: "No... Worse... I Got Marked"
Colleague 1: "Oh no... What now?"
Colleague 2: "No... Worse... I Got Marked"
Colleague 1: "Oh no... What now?"
by On The Juice March 12, 2020
When one has ones name mis-pronounced or mis-spelled. This is often a name that is not even remotely close to ones true name.
Pronunciation: Per-Shamed
Pronunciation: Per-Shamed
John: "I've just got an email and they've spelt my name wrong!"
Sam: "Oh no, have they spelt it J-o-n?"
John: "No, worse they have spelt it J-i-m. I've been Pershamed"
Sam: "Not again!, I was Pershamed last week when someone called me Steve"
Sam: "Oh no, have they spelt it J-o-n?"
John: "No, worse they have spelt it J-i-m. I've been Pershamed"
Sam: "Not again!, I was Pershamed last week when someone called me Steve"
by On The Juice October 30, 2022