Ohio driver's definitions

Football boner

This is when you are really excited about football season.

Tommy had a hige football boner all week, waiting for football to start on Friday night.

by Ohio driver September 5, 2019

Cleveland Dreamer

the thing that gives Browns fans a stiffy and solace during the crisp fall evenings when the days shorten and the temperatures drop while the football season is still young: the hopeful prospect of beating the Pittsburgh Steelers, not once, but TWICE, in a single season. This is the maniacal fever dream of all desperate Browns fans.

--Did you hear Reggie going on about the Browns taking it to the Steelers twice this year?

--Yeah the Browns are already 0-5. Reggie's a real Cleveland Dreamer.

by Ohio driver January 26, 2013

Gatorfake

This is the phenomenon whereby a person ingests one food or beverage item while thinking of another, which inevitably throws one for a gustatory loop. (The namesake is from the author's own experience of taking a drink of water while looking at and thinking of Gatorade and his subsequent surprise at the lack of slightly syrupy texture and sugary palate punch.)

After my run, I was lookin' in the fridge for somethin' sweet, ya know, to restabilize my blood sugar 'n all's I found was some OJ behind the milk, 'n then I took a swig a my water, totally thinkin' o' that OJ, 'n I was totally gatorfaked.

by Ohio driver October 26, 2012

dellacious

this is a combination of delicious and hellacious that describes something that is extremely tasty or pleasurably spicy or hot but that you know you shouldn't be eating because of its poor effects on your health, especially digestion.

Man, those hot wings are dellacious, but I can't help myself. They taste so damn good, and I know I'll be tearin' up the toilet in a few hours.

by Ohio driver December 28, 2011

ohio highway special

this is common phenomenon whereby on an n-laned highway in ohio, n drivers will drive side-by-side for several miles, thereby prohibiting passing in any lane. this isn't conspiratorial, just a fact for whatever reason. most common on 3 lane highways were you wouldn't think this should happen.

--you're running a little bit late.

--yeah, ran into an ohio highway special.

--i know how that goes!

by Ohio driver July 25, 2011

Cheez-It hangover

this is the feeling of dehydration and overall malaise that you get in the morning after eating half of a box or more of Sunshine brand Cheez-Its.

you're late again! what's up?

oh, this time I have a good excuse. It was a Cheez-It hangover.

Ouch. that is the worst snack food to have a hangover from

by Ohio driver March 28, 2012

Peanut butter passout

This is when you eat too much peanut butter too quickly without a beverage, and it coats your throat so much that you can't breath and you pass out.

I told him that peanut butter passout was the breathing version was of an ice cream headache. He thought I was making this shit up!

by Ohio driver January 25, 2017