Basically, whatever is suitable and close to hand to clean up the mess after a spontaneous, off the cuff, wank. Items such as socks, towels and if necessary, cushion covers will fit the bill for this purpose.
I got myself into a right mess last night,I'd ran out of toilet roll so I had to use my sock as a wank mop.
by Nigel Fleming July 13, 2006
An annoying female who gives the impression that she is always on her period. They stomp around tutting all day, have mood swings constantly and will snap and cry at the slightest provocation. If you think you are currently seeing one of these ladies, get rid!
Neil: I can't take it anymore, she's doing my head in all the time, everyday.
Nigel: I warned you there'd be trouble with her, she's one of the biggest rag monsters I've had the misfortune of ever meeting!
Nigel: I warned you there'd be trouble with her, she's one of the biggest rag monsters I've had the misfortune of ever meeting!
by Nigel Fleming July 18, 2006
The act of masterbating in secret without anybody noticing. Usually done behind a bush or whilst peering through a gap in the blinds, looking directly at the subject of your filthy attention. A real art when perfected.
I saw a cracking looking girl on the sidewalk outside my house yesterday and couldn't resist knocking off a crafty wank from my bedroom as she stood there!
by Nigel Fleming July 13, 2006
A white or cream coloured turd. Often dismissed as an urban legend, I assure you, these gems do exist. Very rare and the source of much amusement to all who see one, they usually make themselves apparant in the work place or at school.
by Nigel Fleming July 13, 2006
Noun: To squat down, completely out of the blue, to the shock and disgust of everybody, and proceed to piss everywhere without a care in the world.
Sonya: Fucking hell I'm completely pissed after those beers, I'm just gonna pop over there and do a radcliffe.
Noreen: You fucking dirty bitch, where's your self respect?
Sonya: Ha, that was left in my mothers womb along with my brains when they pulled my sorry arse out!
Noreen: You fucking dirty bitch, where's your self respect?
Sonya: Ha, that was left in my mothers womb along with my brains when they pulled my sorry arse out!
by Nigel Fleming August 05, 2006
Similar to the kids favourite, musical chairs, only a man will lie on the floor and try to maintain wood. Ladies will then dance over him in a circle wearing no underwear. When the music stops the lady who is on over the man at that time will squat down and shag him for a certain amount of time until the music starts again and the ladies dance once more.
Rupert: Hey, how was your birthday party the other night, did you get up to anything exciting?
Nigel: I had a fantastic night, me and the ladies enjoyed a game of musical shags.I shot my load about ten times!
Nigel: I had a fantastic night, me and the ladies enjoyed a game of musical shags.I shot my load about ten times!
by Nigel Fleming April 24, 2007
Noun: To do a paula radcliffe. The act of not bothering to make much of an effort to win something, unless there is a financial gain to be made. This applies especially when representing your country for nothing when you cannot be arsed compared to winning marathons by a mile where huge sums of cash are involved.
Neil: God I cannot wait to see the rowers at the next Olympic Games.
Nigel: Me too lets just hope they don't do a paula radcliffe on us and save themselves for the Henley Royal Regatta!
Nigel: Me too lets just hope they don't do a paula radcliffe on us and save themselves for the Henley Royal Regatta!
by Nigel Fleming August 05, 2006