1 definition by MyBitchIsAnOldMetalPipe

Patrick

A very below-average homosexual man. He is very much aroused by penis, along with a wide array of creepy fetishes. Though he does not know how many fetishes he has as he cannot count past two. To accompany his sheer idiocy, he possesses a variety of mental health issues. He’s always sad. This is probably because he’s a disgusting little faggot. He’s a horny creep and is bothered by the fact that his never ending, fleshy pile of horniness will never be quenched. He has a physique of low standard, people have low standards, but this guy’s just a mess. C’mon. What am I even looking at? Gross. Can you even call this a guy? It’s like a swollen pile of fat lesbian. Get back in your gender roles you fucking queer. Other than that, he’s got a cat who hates him. People hate him/her/they/it (idk). He’s got no friends. It’s okay though. He can’t tell. He keeps his glasses of so it’s harder to see his reflection. He looks like a throbbing mass of intersex genitalia. But genitals are nice no matter what. Unless you’re Patrick’s penis. He doesn’t even know what it’s supposed to be. He doesn’t even know what gender they are. He hasn’t checked yet. Only his granny knows (they shower together). She’s a corpse (even grandmas have standards). He killed her so he could shower with her. Other than grandma-corpse-showering, in his free time he likes to watch people sleep, eat high quality bread, and dab unironically. Fun. He does it alone. He’s lonely. He’s crippilingly depressed. Please help.

Patrick: “Wow. Patrick is really moist right now...”
Patrick: That’s right, Patrick”
Patrick: “Yes, Patrick.”
Patrick: “I’m talking to myself because “I’m lonely.”
Patrick: “Let’s go masturbate?”
Patrick: “Death is our only release.”
Patrick :“I just came”

by MyBitchIsAnOldMetalPipe November 21, 2018