Mr. Cardboard's definitions

freak out

Something freaks inadvertently do to women.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm trying to work out what colour your eyes are."

"Well stoppit you're freaking me out."

*infinitive of "freak out"

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

think bike

A slogan used by British road safety campaigners to try to reduce the number of motorcycle deaths caused by people riding motorcycles into cars, rather than trying to get motorcycle riders to ride more responsibly.

"I used to ride a motorbike but I had a few close calls and decided it was too dangerous. Think bike? Think maybe I'll stop being a fucktard and get a car before I end up with my handlebars through my sternum."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

immolate

to impersonate a mole

"There's a famous picture of a Vietrnamese monk who immolated himself in order to protest the war."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

McFucktard

1. A low-level employee of McDonalds or any other generic fast-food outlet.

2. An extremely stupid person, more fucktarded than a regular fucktard.

3. A fucktard's offspring, as the prefix 'Mc' means 'son of' in Scottish.

Customer: "Big Mac and fries please."

McFucktard: "Do you want fries with that?"

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

goober

Someone who is unable to manage their finances or fertility well enough such that they have to get out of bed or "goob" in order to obtain more money or attend to their offspring, instead of lying in bed all day drinking and masturbating like a true champion.

"I have 3 kids and a large mortgage."

"You goober."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

time machine

A sizeable stash of pornography built up over several decades, enabling you to relive the experiences of people who masturbated in those times.

Will Ferrell: "I still hate you, but you've got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags."

John C. Reilly: "Yeah, I got them from the '70's, '80's and '90's. It's like masturbating in a time machine."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011

mousepraneense

To mispronounce a word or phrase.

A: "That's so banal."

B: "I think you are mousepraneenseing that word."

by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011