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Mr. Cardboard's definitions

mousepraneense

To mispronounce a word or phrase.
A: "That's so banal."

B: "I think you are mousepraneenseing that word."
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
mugGet the mousepraneensemug.

pornanza

I've never seen so much porn in one place at one time, it's a pornanza!
by Mr. Cardboard July 5, 2012
mugGet the pornanzamug.

thirsty

A craving for water or other beverage to alleviate dehydration.
Sarah Silverman: "I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.”
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
mugGet the thirstymug.

zombie sex

Sex with a zombie.

When presented with a fairly fresh zombie that still has attractive characteristics, the concept of sex with said zombie occurs to you and, depending on circumstances, may become reality.

When the zombie apocalypse comes, many people will have a wagonful of zombies held captive for just this purpose, and likely be prepared to kill living people just so they can have zombie sex with them.
Dude 1: Stacey is so hot, her bod is super sweet.

Dude 2: Forget it dude, the only way you'll ever fuck her is zombie sex.
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
mugGet the zombie sexmug.

criminal

A homosexual in extreme denial, since anyone who goes to jail will definitely get raped by members of the same sex.

Incarceration and capital punishment being inadequate deterrents for persons to commit crime, the thrill of being raped is the only motive.
"Hey man, I'm a businessman, I sell dope, I sell coke, I sell phet, I sell ket. I make my money the way the streets demand."

"No, you're a criminal, and we're going to fuck you until your asshole looks like a whale's blowhole."
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
mugGet the criminalmug.

football

The gayest sport in all the world, even gayer than men's synchronised fisting in pink leotards to "Small Town Boy" by Bronski Beat.

An excuse to watch men in shorts lock legs with other men in shorts while they try to shoot white balls into your gaping orifice while your team mate tries in vain to prevent said hole from being violated.

So gay that supporters of football "teams" hold regular pride parades resulting in "who's the gayest" skirmishes to see who can be the first in prison to get bum raped.
"Hey man do you like football?"

"No I prefer tits to balls."
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
mugGet the footballmug.

Jacksons

My girlfriend only lets me teabag her if I've shaved my Jacksons.
by Mr. Cardboard July 5, 2012
mugGet the Jacksonsmug.

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