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Mr. Cardboard's definitions

McFucktard

1. A low-level employee of McDonalds or any other generic fast-food outlet.

2. An extremely stupid person, more fucktarded than a regular fucktard.

3. A fucktard's offspring, as the prefix 'Mc' means 'son of' in Scottish.
Customer: "Big Mac and fries please."

McFucktard: "Do you want fries with that?"
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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goober

Someone who is unable to manage their finances or fertility well enough such that they have to get out of bed or "goob" in order to obtain more money or attend to their offspring, instead of lying in bed all day drinking and masturbating like a true champion.
"I have 3 kids and a large mortgage."

"You goober."
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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freak out

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm trying to work out what colour your eyes are."

"Well stoppit you're freaking me out."

*infinitive of "freak out"
by Mr. Cardboard November 7, 2011
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al dente

Undercooked pasta which, upon regurgitation, resembles a squirming mass of worms and maggots. Al dente literally means "to the teeth", as it is almost crunchy, meaning it is cheap, dried pasta rather than fresh, soft pasta.

For example a hastily-cooked friday night spaghetti before going out on the piss can be complimented as "al dente", however once one is blowing chunks in the form of long, strandy, red worms covered in stomach bile that tickle ever inch of your oesophagus, not to mention the back of your nose, down a back alley, soon becomes "undercooked".
"Sorry I puked all over your dress last night."

"That's ok, it was mostly spaghetti so it was very easy to clean off, thank god for al dente."

"That explains why I shat nothing but worms and maggots this morning, next time I'll give it a couple more minutes in the pan."
by Mr. Cardboard November 3, 2011
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sinkpiss

Pissing in the sink instead of the toilet. An act which saves water and is therefore good for the planet but enrages women purely because they can't do it due to their defective chromosomes, causing them to make ridiculous claims such as "it's disgusting" when we all know that urine is sterile as it leaves the body.
"You better not be doing a sinkpiss again!"

"I pay the water bill bitch so until you let me put a urinal in the bathroom I'm sinkpissing!"
by Mr. Cardboard October 30, 2011
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zombie sex

Sex with a zombie.

When presented with a fairly fresh zombie that still has attractive characteristics, the concept of sex with said zombie occurs to you and, depending on circumstances, may become reality.

When the zombie apocalypse comes, many people will have a wagonful of zombies held captive for just this purpose, and likely be prepared to kill living people just so they can have zombie sex with them.
Dude 1: Stacey is so hot, her bod is super sweet.

Dude 2: Forget it dude, the only way you'll ever fuck her is zombie sex.
by Mr. Cardboard November 8, 2011
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criminal

A homosexual in extreme denial, since anyone who goes to jail will definitely get raped by members of the same sex.

Incarceration and capital punishment being inadequate deterrents for persons to commit crime, the thrill of being raped is the only motive.
"Hey man, I'm a businessman, I sell dope, I sell coke, I sell phet, I sell ket. I make my money the way the streets demand."

"No, you're a criminal, and we're going to fuck you until your asshole looks like a whale's blowhole."
by Mr. Cardboard November 6, 2011
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