Monkey's Dad's definitions

innocential worker

An innocent and essential employee, placed at serious risk of viral infection in their workplace.

Customers refused to wear masks, citing their 'freedom', unconcerned with the lives of the innocential workers who had no choice but to serve them.

by Monkey's Dad May 13, 2020

Neoanderthal

A currently-living, proudly primitive person. A surprisingly vivid embodiment of attitudes and aptitudes thought to be long-extinct.

No need to ask who he's voting for, he's a card-carrying, open-carrying Neoanderthal.

by Monkey's Dad September 18, 2019

Sane Patrick's Day

The special day in mid-March when people do NOT gather in tightly-packed spaces to get drunk, yell, sing and generally breathe in each others' faces, because there is still a global pandemic.

With his six-pack of Guinness, he sat on his sofa to celebrate Sane Patrick's Day, and set his sights on next year.

by Monkey's Dad March 17, 2021

NewJersification

To take an immaculately beautiful woman and, through blind applications of high-contrast streaks, razor-straight bangs, sharp 45-degree layered angles - phony fingernails which soon cover only half the natural nail and look like what exactly? - pounds of makeup, all of which which have zero to do with the real woman, her proportions, natural coloration or perfect essential beauty, and have everything to do with a state-wide communal aesthetic, n' toin huh intuh anuthuh cookie cuttuh Joisy Goil.

Underneath it all was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen or would ever see. Beautiful beyond words. All that had to be done was to simply reverse the NewJersification to which she had , stunningly, submitted .

by Monkey's Dad April 1, 2023

CST

Covid Standard Time.

A new Time Zone which took effect in 2020, throwing Easter Standard Time, Pacific Daylight Time and all the rest into a state of irrelevance.

His appointment was Wednesday at 10:15 CST, which meant he might show up on Tuesday or Friday, a week early, two months late, anytime, really, because what is time now? Covid had revealed time as a hoax of some sort, whether perpetrated by the media or the universe he would figure out later, yesterday or never.

by Monkey's Dad July 27, 2022

silence enables violence

Evil flourishes when good people say nothing.

Speak out and stand up for what you believe, because our silence enables violence.

by Monkey's Dad June 5, 2020

recirculated err

Making the same mistake over and over.

He tried not to do the same stupid thing more that two hundred times, but it seemed to happen anyway, and he was growing tired of breathing recirculated err.

by Monkey's Dad May 1, 2020