Gender Reveal

An unsolicited photo of a person's genitalia. The politically correct term for what was long known as "indecent exposure", borrowed from the whole baby-coming-out-party idiocy.
She was neither shocked nor offended by Jared's sending her a dick pic an hour after their first date, as if he was unsure whether he was actually a man. She was fairly certain he was, and was not in need of the gender reveal.
by Monkey's Dad June 14, 2021
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Virussian Roulette

Flirting with death by going shopping during coronaviral stay-at-home orders.
There was a strong chance of catching the virus, going out was playing Virussian Roulette, but she had stopped caring.
by Monkey's Dad April 13, 2020
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p-Phone

The Pavlov smartphone. It pings, buzzes, vibrates or rings and you JUMP! to respond.

Named for Ivan Pavlov, a Nobel-winning Russian physiologist famous for his work in classical conditioning.
To his eternal astonishment, she was incapable of ignoring her p-Phone, no matter the circumstance.
by Monkey's Dad October 14, 2020
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barborian

A professional haircutter who won't stop chattering about dull trivia.
He sat in the chair, prepared for the barborian to give him a trim and a temporary lobotomy. He did not care who Justin Bieber was dating, what next week's weather was supposed to be, or who might have a shot at the playoffs.
by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020
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Disturbin' Dictionary

A compendium of definitions for all the words you do not want to think about in a time of crisis.
Pandemic, contagion, death rate, infections, coronation, coronaviral, isolution... they kept appearing in the Disturbin' Dictionary when he was just looking for a laugh.
by Monkey's Dad March 21, 2020
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Viral Darwinism

Natural selection as observed by Charles Darwin; the survival of those who can comprehend the nature of a virus.
'The "protesters" are proudly hastening their own extinction', she thought, as they chanted the name of their ignorant leader. 'Many of them will die in a fog of pure Viral Darwinism.'
by Monkey's Dad April 22, 2020
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Vaccophobia

An extraordinary percentage of the American population was infected, if not yet with Covid, then with vaccophobia. Sitting glassy-eyed and slack-jawed in front of their TVs, an American vaccophobe listened to paid performers on Fox and Newsmax, all of whom had been quietly vaccinated, tell them that Covid was nothing but a liberal hoax, that the vaccine would allow the illegitimate Democratic government to take their freedoms and to monitor their location at every moment. If they didn't believe it, they could look it up on their smartphones.
by Monkey's Dad July 24, 2021
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