Monkey's Dad's definitions
The minimum number of quarantined, work-from-home members that must be logged into an online video meeting to make the proceedings valid.
As the Zoom leader waited for the tenth member to sign in, unable to begin until the meeting had a quorumtine, she wondered whether they would ever see each other again in the real world.
by Monkey's Dad April 2, 2020
Get the quorumtine mug.She was terrified of Covid, afraid she'd suffocate wearing a mask, quaking over what effects the vaccine could have, phobic about getting close to anyone and mortified that she was being scarred-for-life by the emotional deprivations of social distancing. Dr. Kafween had termed her a Free Range Chicken, and now she was apprehensive about her next session, reasonably fearful of getting billed for a missed appointment with her analyst, who, she was afraid to admit, was rarely wrong.
by Monkey's Dad December 10, 2020
Get the free range chicken mug.She would refuse to wear a mask, spit in the face of the cashier, open the ice cream carton and lick the contents before putting it back, urinate in all the lemonade bottles, carry her gun where'n'when-the-hell she chose, drive 200 miles an hour through the red lights while schoolkids were crossing, and use the salt shaker on your table for target practice, because this is a free country.
by Monkey's Dad May 25, 2020
Get the a free country mug.A sexual deviant who derives pleasure from exposing his or her nostrils in public, wearing a mask over their mouth but under their nose.
As with other bodily orifices, it is presently taboo to expose one's nostrils in public. So naturally there is a new breed of Nasal Flasher, making eye contact, semi-naked, getting their kicks. They are often confused with the millions of total morons who do not understand that the nose and mouth are connected.
by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2021
Get the Nasal Flasher mug.The murmured protestation of a woman being served an artfully prepared late-morning breakfast, in bed, with a monogrammed sterling spoon, under a velvet blanket, by a man whose one goal in life is her pleasure and comfort, meant to convey the disclaimer: "I am not a Jap".
Ianaj - obviously you have never known a real one - please bring me my glasses... turn the fan slightly toward the window... my phone... and what time is it?
by Monkey's Dad September 3, 2019
Get the Ianaj mug.A person able to move their limbs freely, to walk about their beloved cities, towns, beaches and parks. A person looking forward to same, if and when the coronavirus pandemic ends.
After days of forced isolation in his minuscule New York apartment, able to touch all four walls at once, he yearned to open the door, to hit the street, to walk, to run, to be a free range human.
by Monkey's Dad March 20, 2020
Get the Free Range Human mug.A pandemic, threatening to repossess the life and the world we thought we owned, because we didn't honor our end of the bargain.
by Monkey's Dad April 6, 2020
Get the Repodemic mug.