Monkey's Dad's definitions

The Religious Left

Liberals who have their own definition of "the right to life".

Unlike members of the Religious Right, the Religious Left doesn't advocate ripping children from their mother's arms and putting them in cages, putting prisoners to death when witnesses have recanted and they have been refused the legal admission of DNA exoneration, or the necessity of carrying assault rifles into church. Just sayin'.

by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020

psygh

A long, deep, audible breath which sounds like a sigh but has a pathological source.

For the tenth time in two minutes she heard him psygh, and realized that confinement was making him crazy.

by Monkey's Dad April 9, 2020

personal disappearance

The care we take with how we look, when there is no one to see us.

Saturday night in a city under lockdown, another date with her laptop. She brushed her hair and put on makeup, knowing that for the foreseeable future, she would be the only one to take pleasure in her personal disappearance.

by Monkey's Dad March 18, 2020

cyberoticism

An aura of sexuality conveyed through the Internet. Sexually arousing online communication.

They were both working from home, like everyone, but he looked forward to her joining his Zoom meetings. She was clearly on her bed, not wearing much, and every time she spoke there was a jolt of cyberoticism, which, in isolation, he so deeply craved.

by Monkey's Dad April 4, 2020

Official Wokesperson

The face of an institution, corporation, etc , whose job it is to stand before the press and convey an image of irreproachable political correctness.

"Here at Enlightenment Worldwide, LLC, there is not one single straight, white, male on our staff", said the Official Wokesperson, who indeed seemed oddly indeterminate as to gender and ethnicity. "Further, I apologize for my English, as it is not my first language but my seventh."

by Monkey's Dad March 6, 2020

cat's cradle

The delusional gesture of separating the hands, bringing them together again, manipulating yarn, which Donald Trump continually plays while speaking. A game beloved of little girls everywhere.

Debating Biden, Trump revealed his inner life by continually playing cat's cradle.

by Monkey's Dad October 23, 2020

BC

Before Covid.

Going forward, a designation of time.

The movie is from 2019 BC. Strangers are smiling at each other. The guy kisses the girl... on a date!

by Monkey's Dad June 28, 2020