Monkey's Dad's definitions

verisimehlitude

The quality in a work of art so enslaved to the reality of its source that it elicits no response.

The sculptor had worked very hard to do this. His sculpture was exactly life-sized, colored and textured to precisely replicate the thing it was imitating, and, standing in the gallery, it looked like a living, breathing security guard. Except that it was not breathing, nor was it living, nor did anyone recognize it as a work of art. Or feel anything about it. Or pay it any mind. An example of craft for craft's sake, it had achieved a state of verisimehlitude.

by Monkey's Dad June 22, 2021

toll

A cost in lives.

Damage resulting from an event or practice.

Charge for a service or permission.

The sound of a bell rung at a steady interval.

The tolls from coronavirus will be great, many and enduring, and the bells will toll for the dead.

by Monkey's Dad April 5, 2020

Apptitude

The reflexive belief that "there is an app for everything", eclipsing the experience of simply being alive in the world.

They were in the woods on a sunny spring day. He was looking at the light streaming through the branches. She, having apptitude, was staring at her phone.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I want to know where we are" she answered.

"We are here" he sighed.

by Monkey's Dad April 28, 2021

Bronchiasaurus

The apparent weight on the lungs of a COVID-19 sufferer.

With no ventilator available, straining for breath, it felt as if he had a Bronchiasaurus on his chest.

by Monkey's Dad March 25, 2020

Virussian Roulette

Flirting with death by going shopping during coronaviral stay-at-home orders.

There was a strong chance of catching the virus, going out was playing Virussian Roulette, but she had stopped caring.

by Monkey's Dad April 13, 2020

Pussword

When every one of your passwords are the name of your cat.

She carefully typed it in, one letter at a time. F-L-U-F-F-Y, her all-time favorite pussword, which nobody could ever guess.

by Monkey's Dad September 15, 2021

Chimp on your shoulder

Having a Monkey on your back and a Chip on your shoulder, simultaneously.

Everyone knew to avoid the conspiracy-spewing moron at the end of the bar, except the one guy looking for a fight. He came up behind him and said "Is that a chimp on your shoulder, or did you offer Tucker Carlson a piggyback?"

by Monkey's Dad August 8, 2021