Monkey's Dad's definitions

Coronundrum

A pandemic with no clear solution.

As the months wore on, all hopeful answers leading to dead ends, coronavirus threatened to become an incurable coronundrum.

by Monkey's Dad April 26, 2020

pins and noodles

A state of being highly agitated, yet feeling limp and boneless, anticipating a momentous event.

Sitting in the front row at the Oscars, watching as the envelope was slowly opened, waiting to hear her name called for Best Actress, she was on pins and noodles, wondering if she'd be able to walk to the stage or whether her legs would turn to spaghetti.

by Monkey's Dad March 1, 2020

roc

rate of change. The speed at which change occurs.

Reeling from the unprecedented roc. And you?

by Monkey's Dad March 19, 2020

through the cracks

Some fall through the cracks, others peek through.

Falling through the cracks, many Americans took to the streets in massive protest of racial injustice and police brutality. Peeking through the cracks, many Americans watched in fear as the streets were filled with anger and pain they could hardly comprehend.

by Monkey's Dad June 3, 2020

Mountain out of a Molehole

An inadvertent mis-rendering of the saying "making a mountain out of a molehill" - enlarging an issue beyond its merits or needs - which unintentionally and charmingly accentuates the disparity.

"So what? You lent me your car to go grocery shopping. For whatever, an hour, and I brought it back! It was not three weeks later! Sixteen days is much closer to two weeks. You are so totally making a mountain out of a molehole".

by Monkey's Dad June 13, 2021

Kardashed expectations

When the worldview of a young woman raised on all 18 TV seasons of Keeping Up With Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kris, Kylie and Kendall collides with 2020? not to mention? as if that weren't bad enough? their show gets canceled? I mean.

Growing up, she figured her days would like, be all, like, shopping, makeup, hair, like facials and stuff, and not like, unemployment? driving her mom's Kia to TJMaxx while wearing ugly-ass masks? This totally sucked and who was gonna pay for her Kardashed expectations?

by Monkey's Dad September 9, 2020

Gazpacho Police

Soup Nazis.

According to WWII scholar and Holocaust historian Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Gazpacho Police are now roaming the halls of Congress.

"Nancy Pelosi's Gazpacho Police, spying on members of Congress..." complained Greene. A person of her erudition could not possibly have been confusing cold vegetable soup with the Gestapo, Hitler's secret force, tasked with sending people to the concentration camps.

by Monkey's Dad February 10, 2022