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Monkey's Dad's definitions

appearances matter

A wistful notion from the recent-yet-distant time when people saw each other.
Glancing into her closet, filled with lovingly-chosen clothing she no longer wore, slipping on her plastic coat, her mask and rubber gloves to go 'shopping', she recalled what her mother had taught her when she was young, that appearances matter, and wondered when it would be true again.
by Monkey's Dad May 14, 2020
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Suckerberg Mark

A person targeted by Facebook, who clicks on, answers and falls into every trap.
Clarence fit their profile, answering every bit of bait - the name of his first pet, where he'd met his partner, his favorite color. It was so much fun! Oreos! My first car? A Honda Civic! He was a permanent resident of Suckerberg, the perfect Suckerberg Mark. 'Wait wait, they're asking the last four digits of my SSN in reverse order! Only one in ten can do it! I'm a genius.'
by Monkey's Dad October 5, 2021
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formerly-known-as

Your X - or ex - with a nod to the convolutions of Twitter.
"Check out the babe."
"No need. ... She's my formerly-known-as"
"Sorry."
by Monkey's Dad November 2, 2023
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Cellphie

A photograph of one's self made with a cell phone, ie; almost any selfie.
Whether in front of the Hollywood sign or the Mona Lisa, her iPhone 11 was poised, ready on moment's notice to make another of her trademark cellphies.
by Monkey's Dad October 9, 2019
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Last Man on Earth

Effectively, the man any woman happens to be with, under lockdown, for the duration of the coronaviral era.
"You have complaints? Please, feel free to find someone else, because right now I may as well be the last man on earth."
by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020
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Introversy

A heated disagreement with oneself.
His desire to be famous and his need to be left alone had led him to this strange moment - on stage, in front of thousands of screaming fans, ready to walk off and go home, in a state of raging introversy.
by Monkey's Dad February 27, 2020
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Facial Recognition

1) A technology rendered obsolete by Covid.
2) A quaint human interaction, from the time when people could see another person's face, know whom they were looking at, and respond with feeling.
He saw a sort of female person standing in front of him. She had her ear pods in and was speaking to someone who was not there. She was wearing a mask, as required by law and by custom, large sunglasses and a hat. He saw a small patch of skin - her cheeks - and longing for that old feeling once termed facial recognition, he believed it might or might not be Sarah.
by Monkey's Dad December 30, 2020
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