Definitions by Monkey's Dad
Covocaust Denial
The hysteria was ridiculous, as every right-thinking person knew. The so-called 'coronavirus' was just the ordinary flu, had so far killed a tiny handful of people and was exaggerated in a liberal attempt at impeachment part 2. Anyone who called his truth-telling Covocaust Denial was a sore loser. Ask Rush.
Covocaust Denial by Monkey's Dad April 4, 2020
Social-distance Drinker
For years he had only drunk in company, politely, and certainly had never taken a drink by himself, one of the warning signs of alcoholism, or so he had read. Now though... now it was different. Alone all day and night in his apartment, evening couldn't come fast enough as he looked forward to his first glass of wine, and his fourth, a social-distance drinker for the new era.
Social-distance Drinker by Monkey's Dad April 3, 2020
passive-regressive
A degree of passive-aggressive behavior which has the opposite of its intended effect, making the person appear childlike.
She always waited a few days to answer his texts, thinking that it would hurt him, when it only made her seem passive-regressive.
passive-regressive by Monkey's Dad April 3, 2020
Facebook patient
Heather's posts centered around her anxieties, her phobias, her delusional self-image - photos of herself taken today, taken ten years ago, taken when she was born - complimenting herself in a variety of ways, and her friends obliged, from empathy, 'liking', 'sharing', telling her how beautiful she still was, knowing she was a Facebook patient.
Facebook patient by Monkey's Dad April 3, 2020
staticursion
Putting on neither coat, nor hat, nor boots, grabbing neither his car keys nor his bag, he prepared for another staticursion, staying where he was, where he had been, and where he would be for the foreseeable future - home.
staticursion by Monkey's Dad April 3, 2020
Hell is other people
A phrase with fresh meaning in 2020, when people all over the world are commanded by law to stay far away from each other, when the innocent presence of another human can cause your death.
The line is from Jean-Paul Sartre's 1944 play 'No Exit".
The line is from Jean-Paul Sartre's 1944 play 'No Exit".
Having been friendly and gregarious all his life, he was now forced to acknowledge that, in the present moment, hell is other people.
Hell is other people by Monkey's Dad April 3, 2020
parallel bars
Widely-separated, empty locations where people drink alone and share the experience with others over the Internet.
"Come here often?" he said into his phone. "Oh, I'm here all the time", she answered. On his small screen she looked like she was enjoying her Margarita, he told her how great his straight Jack Daniels felt going down, miles apart, each locked in their parallel bars, sharing Happy Hour.
parallel bars by Monkey's Dad April 3, 2020