Definitions by Mel Biggs

Musher

A musher is halfway between a slimer and a Vesuvius slimer, retaining the form of the former but having a texture more like the latter. It tends to be large, to maintain its form in an uninterrupted continuum, and to emerge completely within about a second.

I blew a musher into the bowl this morning and it was wrapped around the inside of the bowl before I even knew I'd started shitting.

Musher by Mel Biggs January 30, 2008

slimer 

A variety of turd which has a smooth surface and is free of voids.

The dump I took this morning consisted of three slimers, a cluster, a globular cluster and a cloud. Man, I lost weight with that one.

slimer by Mel Biggs August 10, 2006

cluster

A dirigible-shaped turd conisting of a number of pebble turds stuck together. Contrast with globular cluster which lacks the well-defined shape and more resembles a chocolate peanut cluster.

The dump I took this morning consisted of three slimers, a cluster, a globular cluster and a cloud. Man, I lost weight with that one.

cluster by Mel Biggs August 10, 2006

globular cluster 

a conglomeration of pebble turds not fully compressed into the classic dirigible shape, but rather more resembling a chocolate peanut cluster.

The dump I took this morning consisted of three slimers, a cluster, a globular cluster and a cloud. Man, I lost weight with that one.

globular cluster by Mel Biggs August 10, 2006

smind 

A peanut, piece of corn, or other visible particulate matter (generally assumed to be of a lighter color) residing in a piece of shit.

My slimer would have been a perfect slimer but for the proliferation of sminds in it. It looked more like a brown Big Hunk.

smind by Mel Biggs August 10, 2006

perfect slimer 

a slimer which has no voids on its surface, does not contain a single visible smind and whose ends taper like a fine cigar, as opposed to appearing torn.

This morning, I blew a perfect slimer. It looked more like a fat cigar. It came out so clean I almost didn't even wipe.

perfect slimer by Mel Biggs August 10, 2006

pebble turd

A small, individual, rounded piece of shit not large enough to be a proper turd. These are usually not larger than peanut M&M's.

I felt like I gave birth this morning. I was expecting at least a foot-long slimer, but I looked in the bowl and there, staring back pathetically, was a single, sad pebble turd not even worth flushing.

pebble turd by Mel Biggs August 10, 2006