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Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian's definitions

Penile degloving

Two words that you never want to be seen used together. Ever.
I fear no man
but that thing (penile degloving)
it scares me....
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Me when

The most overused phrase that every meme tends to begin with. For example, "me when I stub my toe" or " me when my parents are sleeping" etc etc. My theory is this phrase is so unoriginal to the point that it's actually amusing. It's gotten so overused to the point that people are now using this phrase as a meme itself, in an ironic or knowingly absurd sort of way. It's often exaggerated by adding more "me when" to the end.

Proof that memes have gone downhill since 2017.
Nobody:

Literally every meme on this planet: "me when me when the when the..."
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Ear Licking

Let me rephrase my previous definition differently and more sensibly:

While ear licking is technically a form of ASMR, ear licking should NOT be associated with ASMR. Why?

It's money-grabbing publicity material. Suggestive stuff always gets more attention than non-suggestive stuff. This changes the dominant representation of ASMR from something non-sexual to something lewd. Now don't get me wrong, ASMR can be suggestive/erotic, but that is not at all representative of the true purpose of ASMR (which is to relax and give you tingles). Such content should be on pornhub, NOT twitch. It is truly heartbreaking to see newcomers being deterred away from ASMR because of the ear licking, when in reality ASMR stands for so much more.

It is exactly like toxic Rick & Morty fans who give off a bad impression of that show when in reality it is such a great show.
It is exactly like the people who shit on Fortnite when it's actually not that bad of a game.
It is exactly like people who boycott Papa John's because of its kooky CEO when in reality their pizza is really good.
Do I need to come up with more analogies?

Also let's be honest, the sound of somebody's wet tongue dragging across the mic is generally revolting to hear. If you genuinely like ear licking, then good for you I guess, but please know and understand that ear licking is destroying the dignity and reputation of ASMR, day by day. There are endless tales of people who hate ASMR because all they knew of it was ear licking.
▼The chat of an ASMR twitch stream▼

DadudeBro: I am so relaxed rn, thanks
Hoss382950: Hello
KingJeff7: *abruptly comes in* Y'ALL ARE SICK PEOPLE FOR LIKING ASMR!!!
DadudeBro: @KingJeff7 no u
CHR0NICBE4ST: @KingJeff7 How? What did asmr ever do to you?

KingJeff7: Bruh I aint gonna listen to some girl licking the fuckin mic
CHR0NICBE4ST: Please pay attention to this stream, do you see any ear licking? Also, I think you got the wrong impression of ASMR. Look up "Virtual Barbershop" on Youtube and go watch the first video. Now THAT is real asmr.
DadudeBro: Yeah what CHR0NICBE4ST said. Additionally, go look up ASMRtists such as Gentle Whispering, Heather Feather, ASMRmagic, Gibi ASMR and Ephemeral Rift. Those are people who make actual ASMR. If you think ASMR is just ear licking and mukbang, then you are heavily misguided.
KingJeff7: I don't care, still cringey ass shit.
MOD Jadee_17: "KingJeff7 has been banned."
DadudeBro: PETTHEMODS
totally_newb: PETTHEMODS
Heckerboi97: PETTHEMODS
by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian October 31, 2021
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Shpee

To shit and pee at the same time. This is the only correct definition.
Friend 1: What took you so long?
Friend 2: I ended up taking a shpee. Killed two birds with one stone yk
by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian December 10, 2023
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Haterade

Anything or anyone that acts as fuel to ignite feelings of hatred and resent. See also: Reddit comment threads.
I get a constant endless supply of haterade from interacting with toxic Redditors. It's very addictive, though each haterade I consume cuts off one second from my lifespan.
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Ok Google

An iconic command you say that triggers Google Assistant on your Android phone, tablet, or Google Home speaker. Saying "Ok Google" has been a thing on Android phones ever since 2013 back when it was known as Google Now. The trigger phrase has now expanded to include "Hey Google".
Friend 1: *rings doorbell*
Friend 2: Heyy come in! So what brings you h—
Friend 1: OK GOOGLE READ MY TEXTS
Friend 2: ....
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Scab

Your body's own version of band-aid
Mom: Don't peel off that scab. Like a band-aid, it will fall off eventually.
by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian February 26, 2020
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