Markwonder's definitions

Nobel Peace Prize

1. An award now given out frivolously.
2. An award given to President Barack Obama based on his first 17 days in office. The nomination deadline for the prize was 17 days after he took office.
3. An award given the President Barack Obama on the basis of the "hope" he inspires and what he "might" do while President.

The Nobel Peace Prize is yet another attempt to apologize for slavery.

by Markwonder October 9, 2009

hipocrite

A hypocrite is someone who is critical of a certain practice when they themselves are engaging in the very same practice.

Anyone who supports illegal immigration in Arizona yet maintains locks on the doors of their homes and businesses to keep people from just walking in and taking anything they may need to make a better life for themselves or their families is a hipocrite.

by markwonder May 7, 2010

Wiseacre

Old person speak for smartass.

That Emmet Wickersham is a real wiseacre, I tell you. I caught him stealing checkers off the board while I was looking at Lawrence Welk on the television set." "If he tries that just one more time, I'm calling the nurse."

by Markwonder August 30, 2010

Renig

The shift change at the downtown carwash.

Steve noticed that customers were complaining because the blacks were getting lazy and weren't paying proper attention to their assigned duties. It was obviously time to renig.

by markwonder August 21, 2009

Shart

When you push too hard to fart and end up shitting your drawers.

Shart philosophy seen on bathroom wall:

Here I sit all broken hearted, came to shit but only farted.
Then one day I took a chance, went to fart and shit my pants.

by Markwonder March 18, 2011

Hypocrite

A hypocrite is someone who is critical of a certain practice when they themselves are engaging in the very same practice.

Anyone who supports illegal immigration in Arizona yet maintains locks on the doors of their homes and businesses to keep people from just walking in and taking anything they may need to make a better life for themselves or their families is a hypocrite.

by Markwonder May 14, 2010

Smart-ass

What Joe Biden thinks you are if you ask him to lower the U.S. citizens' tax burden.

While visiting Kopp's frozen custard shop in Milwaukee where smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin was on duty, Vice President Joe Biden was sampling some of the tasty treats.

Biden: "What do I owe you for the delicious custard?"

Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: “Don’t worry, it’s on the house. … Lower our taxes and we’ll call it even.”

Biden: “Why don’t you say something nice instead of being a Smart–ass all the time?”

Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: (Thinking) This motherfucker just lost my vote.

by markwonder August 30, 2010