Like a 'darling' but someone of a famous background, a celeb, a TV/Film star, singer; of that whom is infatuated, obsessed, admiring, in love with.
by Long Johns December 24, 2011
Someone who wishes to have threesomes or foursomes or thensomes.....when there is only two to the pack but wants more.
Guy: 'I fancy a threesome'.
Girl: 'But there is only two in the pack'.
Guy: 'Don't worry we can improvise'.
Girl: 'Stop being such a twix'.
Girl: 'But there is only two in the pack'.
Guy: 'Don't worry we can improvise'.
Girl: 'Stop being such a twix'.
by Long Johns September 07, 2011
by Long Johns July 03, 2011
A #selfie, a picture that is self taken over and over and can never be pleased with the slight areas of issues to have with features...like blemishes, wonky eye, big nose, stiff upper lip, double chin....bless whoever has all of those and not just the one!!!
Jilly: (snap) mmmm, now which one should I use? (asks her teddy bear)
Teddy: (just stares)
Jill: well you're no help, you're suppose to point out how beautiful I am.
Teddy: (just stares with a slight shrugging look this time)
Jill: so which #selfie pic am I supposed to use then....mmmmm, how about all of them?
Teddy: (just stares this time with sheer panic)
If only teddy bear could shake his head frantically!!!
Teddy: (just stares)
Jill: well you're no help, you're suppose to point out how beautiful I am.
Teddy: (just stares with a slight shrugging look this time)
Jill: so which #selfie pic am I supposed to use then....mmmmm, how about all of them?
Teddy: (just stares this time with sheer panic)
If only teddy bear could shake his head frantically!!!
by Long Johns November 27, 2013
Towards the cold nights, those who hold back from lighting up that fire place - in todays society flicking on the central heating - a group of frighteners will knock on peoples doors. Come from the energy supply, back then was the woodsman who chopped the wooden logs for everyone, to scare people into making use of that paid service.
Jack, the woodsman, spent all his hard working weeks chopping down trees for people to burn on their fires. Only some like to hold on till the very last moment, when matters are important enough to waste more than they can use. Only Jack knows that people like this prevents him earning that extra more for this time of year. So on the night for Halloween, using their given jack-o-lanterns, sends out a group of scarey looking scoundrals to put the frighteners on the village folk to burn. It still happens today in some cases, with todays way for doing things, the dark nights are even more so terrorising.
by Long Johns October 24, 2014
Back in the days when the law was truly an ass, a witness was strong enough to cast judgement on any poor soul they wish to pass blame. Sometimes it took knocking on peoples doors to ask 'can I get a witness', and where the idea for Jehovah Witnesses come from for knocking on peoples doors and throwing the book at them. Taking desperate measures to either clear someones name or to pass blame on to another. Can also be used for those quick marriages some like to have that same day when only set eyes on someone.
Woman: "I'm desperate, please help me to save my son....please, I beg of you."
Stranger: "ok, I see what I can do."
Woman: "thank you, thank you, praise the lord."
Stranger: "Can I get a witness?"
Random Passer-by: "Sure, I'll say he was with me all the time."
Stranger: "ok, I see what I can do."
Woman: "thank you, thank you, praise the lord."
Stranger: "Can I get a witness?"
Random Passer-by: "Sure, I'll say he was with me all the time."
by Long Johns August 25, 2013
A bitch slap is a subtle yet harsh way to make sure they get the point across well and truly. Particularly for those annoying bitches whom just do not get the hint, and keep on and on at you until provoked to 'bitch slap' them, like a wake up call.
Bitch: wanna go out with me....wanna go out with me....wanna go out with me..
Victim: No, you're alright.
Bitch: go out with me, or else.....go out with me, or else....go out with me, or else.
Victim: I said no, thanks.
Bitch: I'm gonna stalk you while you sleep......hear me....stalk you...
Victim: 'bitch slap' now do you get it?
Bitch: I'm going to get you for this, yeah I get it.
Victim: what have I got to do to make the hint sink into her thick skull?
Victim: No, you're alright.
Bitch: go out with me, or else.....go out with me, or else....go out with me, or else.
Victim: I said no, thanks.
Bitch: I'm gonna stalk you while you sleep......hear me....stalk you...
Victim: 'bitch slap' now do you get it?
Bitch: I'm going to get you for this, yeah I get it.
Victim: what have I got to do to make the hint sink into her thick skull?
by Long Johns November 27, 2013