Kung-fu JeSuS's definitions

stark bollock naked

(adj.) No clothes on at all, not even a wristwatch or jewellry.

I was getting changed in a tent when I saw Matthew's silhouette walk by, about to come in. I shouted out "Don't come in, i'm stark bollock naked", at which point he laughed, but took as lokk anyway, so I mooned him. He seemed strangely turned by 'the goods', and laughed again.


The moral of the story is that Matt Dunne is gay.

by Kung-fu Jesus July 20, 2004

Hoplophiliac

One who is aroused by firearms or killing.

<Insert random american joke here, with reference to Charlton Heston>

by Kung-fu Jesus July 20, 2004

scum

(n.) An excellent piece of cinema from the late seventies showing some of the events that would happen in a borstal (prison for young offenders in the UK). I watched it in a religious education lesson when I was 14 or 15, and have seen it dozens of times since. It preaches racial harmony, good sportsmanship (see murderball) and the importance of a tool.

Where's your tool?


What tool?



*WHACK*

by Kung-fu Jesus July 20, 2004

murderball

(n.) A game seen in the movie SCUM (1979) which is very similar to basketball, except the winner is not the one with the most points, but the last team with people standing. The rules are


•NO punching in the face
•NO kicking in the goolies, and...
•NO biting


The teams divide up into 'black' and 'white'. Winning is only by default.

Let's play a game fo murderball.


Where's your tool?

by Kung-fu Jesus July 20, 2004

your mother cooks socks in hell

A variation of the classic "Your mother sucks cocks in hell" line from the excorcist that is said to children. A possible spoonerism.

The power of rice crumples you!

by Kung-Fu Jesus July 21, 2004

cooked books

(n.) Incorrect accounts, where the values of work done is understated so that income taation is lower. Could also mean exploiting loopholes, which isn't illegal. See also cook the books

Sorry, Terry. He got caught putting his signature on cooked books and he had to fire him.

by Kung-Fu Jesus July 21, 2004

chop shop

(n.) A garage that specialises in buying hot (recently stolen) cars and disassembling them to sell the parts individually, where they are vitually untraceable. Many parts will find themselves in west Africa, where they are then sold across the internet witht he claim that they were taken from wrecks. Since the laws regarding reporting wrecks in this part of the world are somewhat obscure, and unco-operative witht he rest of the world, reclaiming the parts, even if you can prove it is yours is very difficult.

The convertable BMW 3.25 was stolen in the early hours of the morning and is probably in a chop shop by now.

by Kung-Fu Jesus July 21, 2004