John Wesley's definitions

Cot Jockey

Ambulance driver. Usually characterized by their NREMT patch and window decal. Can also be spotted easily "off duty" (wal-mart, sonic, dollar general) wearing parts of their on-duty clothes and overtly apparent pager.

It took 2 crews of cot jockeys to load their fat ass in that ambulance.

by John Wesley February 9, 2008

Crack Ho Skinny Diet

Diet so severe and lacking in nutrition, the person on it either has the goal of looking like a crack whore or trying to get back down to their birth weight. Composed of "nibbling" instead of eating, even buffet plates of food look like appetizers. Food items such as tacos and burritos are comprised of a few small pieces of rinsed turkey meat and a single sliver of cheese (if they splurge). The avid dieter even orders small waters to go with their salads to avoid the calories ice contains.

Customer: "i'll have the 3 inch turkey club sandwich with the turkey meat dragged across the bread, a pickle with no juice and a small water."
Subway: "you must be on the crack ho skinny diet."

Dieter: "I like to put lemon juice on my baked potatoe as a butter substitute, tastes just like it"
Observer: "you dumb bitch, lemon makes anything taste like LEMON!"

by John Wesley February 12, 2008

Boobie Dots

Titties. Breasts. Boobs. Hooters. Fun Bags.

Quit staring at my boobie dots.

by John Wesley February 13, 2008

Roll Tard

A University of Alabama football fan (Roll Tide) known for their unique blend of retardedness and extreme obnoxiousness when it comes to pinning their adult hopes and dreams on teenage boys.

1. Hey man... did you see that awesome Alabama game?
2. You Roll Tard
1. But we wiped the field with them and won by like 3 points.
2. Still a Roll Tard.

by John Wesley October 23, 2008

Bats on the Booty

Having so much extra "granny" panty fabric under your pants, it looks like a bat flew into your ass right before you pulled your pants up over it.

Check out the Bats on the Booty under that girls pants.

She'd be hot if she didn't have Bats on the Booty.

by John Wesley February 9, 2008

NF2A2

NF(squared)A(squared). Abbreviation used to describe something thats No Fucking Fun At All.

This trip is really nf2a2.

by John Wesley March 5, 2008

pootist

An intellectually superior human who poots a lot. Follower of the teachings of Pootism. A devout pootist is referred to by their inner circle as a Pootist Monk.

Mike was a great Pootist and wise in the ways of Pootism.

by John Wesley February 9, 2008