John Wesley's definitions

Tokyo Waft

Farting in a vacant area and then walking deliberately past someone else or among a group of people dragging it along behind you.

I just gave B shift the worst Tokyo Waft ever

by John Wesley March 1, 2008

Seminal Trappings

artistic expression used to describe the latest flood of cookie cutter songs from every current-era male pop musician. Recognizable by the usual accompaniment of pianos or violins, these are the songs that are inducing the collective menstrual cycles of the radio free world. Although usually reserved for male musicians, the term can, in some instances, be applied to the critique of female musicians if the faux-testosterone level is deemed beyond the “Vaginal Moanings” term assigned to the same music.

Male: Recently, while watching VH1, I found myself really enjoying the Seminal Trappings of Matchbox 20.
Female: Recently, while watching VH1, I found myself really enjoying the Seminal Trappings of Amy Winehouse and KT Tunstall.

by John Wesley February 6, 2008

crap herder

Someone who can't resist a yard sale item no matter how fucking useless in either:
a) the attempt to resale said piece of shit for a quarter profit or...
b) thinks they will have a pretty good use for said item later

Patrick was such a crap herder, he picked up some broken tables from the trash collection pile and brought them to work.

by John Wesley February 9, 2008

pootist

An intellectually superior human who poots a lot. Follower of the teachings of Pootism. A devout pootist is referred to by their inner circle as a Pootist Monk.

Mike was a great Pootist and wise in the ways of Pootism.

by John Wesley February 9, 2008

King Joe

Someone of considerable self-worth that is only important in their own insignificant world. Suffering from severe delusions of grandeur, they think the world will end abruptly when they cease to exist.

King Joe: "I am such a professional, this organization should be really honored to be benfitting from my knowledge and expertise."
Observer: "what a king joe"

by John Wesley February 12, 2008

Skeeter Leg

The kind of joint somebody rolls when they are too cheap and stingy to roll a "fatty". So thin, the rolling paper makes up the bulk of said joint and resembles a mosquitos (skeeter) leg when finished.

Terry could roll twenty Skeeter Legs from the same bag of pot anybody else could get 5 from.

by John Wesley February 9, 2008

Mansume

The list of all the accomplishments, accolades, scores and awards of a man concerning who they have had sex with, how many partners they have had sex with and number of times, where, style, how and when. May also, but not necessarily, include information about ones Spank Bank, masturbatory habits, wish lists and references.
Usually a document that a man is typically only able to submit for viewing to another man. If being submitted to a female counterpart, said mansume may be edited to the extent of a CIA document concerning the JFK assassination.

1. Timmy really wants to bone that woman soon.
2. Timmy will never get laid if she finds his mansume.
1. Yeah, thats one fine mansume Timmy has, it's gonna look better when she's on it.

by John Wesley February 10, 2008