John Superman's definitions

urinal miming

The act of standing at a public urinal with urinal shock & pretending to pee. This is done in order to avoid you looking weird to guys in the urinals next to you. Usually finished off with a fake snake shake & a loud, satisfied "ahhh".

"There was a queue! I couldn't just stand there waiting for the piss to come. I had to do some urinal miming & get the hell out."

by John Superman December 6, 2013

Christmass

The mass of Jesus Christ. Approximately 63kg.

John 17:12 "The Christmass was that of an average man, not fat, for he was pious & consumed donuts sparingly."

by John Superman December 7, 2013

instalebrity

Someone who believes they are famous due to having high numbers of Instagram followers.

Jared: "Yeah, so my last photo got over 60,000 likes. Jayzombie & I are, like, totally best friends. People just seem to totally appreciate my Art. It just speaks to them, i guess..."

Customer: "Just give me my damn latte, you pathetic instalebrity."

by John Superman November 28, 2013

George Lucas

A beard grown to disguise a double chin.

"That George Lucas really helps define your jawline. Without it, you'd look like a potato."

"Um, thanks."

by John Superman December 6, 2013

Failias

The failure to come up with a believable fake name due to time constraints or panicked thinking.

Policeman at car window: "Sir, this car was just seen at a popular doggingspot. I'll need your name, please."

David Armstrong: my name is John... Super... Man...

Policeman: That goddamn failias crap ain't gonna work on me, boy! Get the hell out here!

by John Superman November 28, 2013

pointing percy at the porcelain

The act of pointing one's penis towards the toilet bowl whilst standing. Usually accompanied by urination.

"Jeff, your dinner's ready!"

"Give me a minute! I'm just pointing percy at the porcelain!"

by John Superman December 6, 2013