40 definitions by John Wesley

Pile of shit left for you to step on in your yard by a Dachsund.
Son of a bitch, thats a fresh german steamer I nearly stepped in.
by John Wesley February 10, 2008
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Diet so severe and lacking in nutrition, the person on it either has the goal of looking like a crack whore or trying to get back down to their birth weight. Composed of "nibbling" instead of eating, even buffet plates of food look like appetizers. Food items such as tacos and burritos are comprised of a few small pieces of rinsed turkey meat and a single sliver of cheese (if they splurge). The avid dieter even orders small waters to go with their salads to avoid the calories ice contains.
Customer: "i'll have the 3 inch turkey club sandwich with the turkey meat dragged across the bread, a pickle with no juice and a small water."
Subway: "you must be on the crack ho skinny diet."

Dieter: "I like to put lemon juice on my baked potatoe as a butter substitute, tastes just like it"
Observer: "you dumb bitch, lemon makes anything taste like LEMON!"
by John Wesley February 12, 2008
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The list of all the accomplishments, accolades, scores and awards of a man concerning who they have had sex with, how many partners they have had sex with and number of times, where, style, how and when. May also, but not necessarily, include information about ones Spank Bank, masturbatory habits, wish lists and references.
Usually a document that a man is typically only able to submit for viewing to another man. If being submitted to a female counterpart, said mansume may be edited to the extent of a CIA document concerning the JFK assassination.
1. Timmy really wants to bone that woman soon.
2. Timmy will never get laid if she finds his mansume.
1. Yeah, thats one fine mansume Timmy has, it's gonna look better when she's on it.
by John Wesley February 10, 2008
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Ambulance driver. Usually characterized by their NREMT patch and window decal. Can also be spotted easily "off duty" (wal-mart, sonic, dollar general) wearing parts of their on-duty clothes and overtly apparent pager.
It took 2 crews of cot jockeys to load their fat ass in that ambulance.
by John Wesley February 9, 2008
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An intellectually superior human who poots a lot. Follower of the teachings of Pootism. A devout pootist is referred to by their inner circle as a Pootist Monk.
Mike was a great Pootist and wise in the ways of Pootism.
by John Wesley February 9, 2008
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Procedure to remove someone from the face of the earth that is over the age of 18 that you know is unwanted, unproductive, a drain to natural resources or otherwise known as someone that you are pretty sure should not have been here in the first place.
She's such a useless crack head, somebody should really do an Adult Abortion on her.
by John Wesley February 9, 2008
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artistic expression used to describe the latest flood of cookie cutter songs from every current-era male pop musician. Recognizable by the usual accompaniment of pianos or violins, these are the songs that are inducing the collective menstrual cycles of the radio free world. Although usually reserved for male musicians, the term can, in some instances, be applied to the critique of female musicians if the faux-testosterone level is deemed beyond the “Vaginal Moanings” term assigned to the same music.
Male: Recently, while watching VH1, I found myself really enjoying the Seminal Trappings of Matchbox 20.
Female: Recently, while watching VH1, I found myself really enjoying the Seminal Trappings of Amy Winehouse and KT Tunstall.
by John Wesley February 7, 2008
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