HumphreyB's definitions

detrain

A newspeak-esque term QRail train conductors use to describe the act of getting off a train.

Train conductor: Passengers for the Ipswich, Beenleigh and Gold Coast lines, please detrain at Central. Make sure you collect all of your belongings before detraining. Thank you.

Passenger: WTF!?!?

by HumphreyB July 30, 2008

guitar

A rarely used musical instrument in rock and popular music.

Guitarist #1: Ok let's form a rock band. We need two electric guitarists; four acoustic guitarists; three bass guitarists and seven lead guitarists.

Guitarist #2: Cool, but I think we need more guitarists.

by HumphreyB May 25, 2006

4'33''

A musical work composed by American experimental composer John Cage in 1952. Made up of 3 movements, it is comprised solely of four minutes and 33 seconds of silence. However in performance, the work is supposed to capture unintentional sounds such as audience whispers, coughs etc. It challenges the very definition of music.

Pretentious people claim to like it.

Art student: John Cage's 4'33'' is so compelling and thought provoking. It makes those students at the conservatorium look like a bunch of show-offs. They just don't appreciate the sound of silence.

Sane man: You're a twat.

by HumphreyB May 16, 2006

power chord

A musical chord which is not technically a chord since it only contains two pitch classes (making it an interval). It is formed by the root note, 5th and commonly features the octave above the root.

It is used by rock guitarists way too often by stringing different power chords together to form a riff. This goes against western diatonic music theory which says you should not have parallel 5ths or octaves, let alone both of them simultaneously. Despite this fallacy, rock guitarists have chicks and money while classical musicians have neither. Go figure.

That guy looks sad, lonely and poor.

Yeah. He mustn't use power chords.

by HumphreyB May 13, 2006

guitar solo

An extension of a guitarists' cock.

Guitarist: Hey man listen to this guitar solo!

Sane man: Gee, I really didn't wanna hear that.

by HumphreyB May 13, 2006

E minor

A musical key that guitarists know all too well.

Musician: Instead of playing this song in E minor, can you play it in G minor?

Guitarist: What?

by HumphreyB May 13, 2006

Beethoven

Arguably the greatest composer of all time. Also the name of a shitty movie.

Music lover: Hey Beethoven's pretty cool.

Movie buff: You sicken me.

by HumphreyB May 13, 2006