Pain in the heart, crying uncontrollably every day, feeling so sad and having regrets. Not being able to move on and waking in the night because of it. Being anguished.
Your first love and you fall out, he goes on to have other girlfriends and you feel DESTROYED and HEARTBROKEN about it. You see him before he moves away and dont tell him your feelings because you think he wont return them and are GUTTED he's leaving.
Twenty years later he contacts you and after the intial anger about him breaking your heart you realise that you CARE so much because you NEVER got over him. This is a disaster because you are both married and there are CHILDREN involved. You also dont know if he cared about you or just wanted sex. You dont want an affair and you thought you could be friends but you love him DESPERATELY even though you love your husband and family. You realise you will always love him, but you feel guilty towards your marriage. You cry every day and your heart hurts just thinking about him and what you've LOST. You hope there will be a way to be together one day without hurting anyone else, but youre not sure if he is just playing with your FEELINGS. You wish he would FORGIVE you and be able to love you as a friend as nothing else is possible but he IGNORES you mostly, and that hurts you again.
Helpline that you can phone when you are at risk of ending it all. An ear to talk to when you have things bothering you that you couldnt tell another living soul.
Person answers phone "hello this is the Samaritans how can we help?"
Desperate person answers "Hello, my world is falling apart"
Then proceeds to spill their "guts" to a complete stranger about how fucked up their life is....
Feels a bit better afterwards and can see things in a different light.
Jumpin inside. Goin crazy in a good way.
I never thought he'd talk to me again, but he has so Im skippin!