Definitions by HOSSBROOKLYN
Albanian Water Park
Any public restroom in which the floor is continuously covered in a questionable slurry of liquids. The toilet is always running yet does not flush properly. In the rare occasion that toilet paper is present, it is sopping wet, stuck together, and holds the consistency of Tres Leches cake. The sink does not work, but a “Lazy River” drips a tinted liquid from the base of its hardware creating a slimy dark stain down its basin. Soap does not exist.
The humid conditions within Albanian Water Parks are an actual MicroClimate that is similar to that of rain forests found throughout the world, maintaining a mean temperature of 92 degrees Fahrenheit.
Despite unsanitary conditions, Albanian Water Parks are frequented by all walks of life. Often the act of drunken or drug fueled coitus is performed within the confines of these spaces, as well as unlawful monetary transactions.
In an effort to create a Patho-Map of such public spaces NYU Microbiologist collected DNA samples from surfaces and liquids found within several Albanian Water Parks in Brooklyn, NY.
Top results from their findings are as follows:
*Urine/Feces of various mammals not limited to human
*Mozzarella Cheese spores
*Bacterial Vaginosis
*Semen
*Gyro Grease
*Chlamydia
*Throbbing Ectoplasm
Further research has halted due to unsafe and unsanitary conditions resulting in the contraction of various social diseases by researchers.
The humid conditions within Albanian Water Parks are an actual MicroClimate that is similar to that of rain forests found throughout the world, maintaining a mean temperature of 92 degrees Fahrenheit.
Despite unsanitary conditions, Albanian Water Parks are frequented by all walks of life. Often the act of drunken or drug fueled coitus is performed within the confines of these spaces, as well as unlawful monetary transactions.
In an effort to create a Patho-Map of such public spaces NYU Microbiologist collected DNA samples from surfaces and liquids found within several Albanian Water Parks in Brooklyn, NY.
Top results from their findings are as follows:
*Urine/Feces of various mammals not limited to human
*Mozzarella Cheese spores
*Bacterial Vaginosis
*Semen
*Gyro Grease
*Chlamydia
*Throbbing Ectoplasm
Further research has halted due to unsafe and unsanitary conditions resulting in the contraction of various social diseases by researchers.
Cindy told me she got an STI from the toilet seat at the Albanian Water Park at McCarren Park. I actually believe her.
Albanian Water Park by HOSSBROOKLYN June 7, 2026
Boston Beauty
In reference to the extreme lack of attractive females in the North American city of Boston .
A Boston Beauty refers to a woman that is mildly attractive enough to consider beddable given the lack of other options.
A woman with thin lips, large and crooked front teeth with a prominent forehead.
Usually very pale skinned with a rough and roguish vocabulary. Often incessantly speaking of sports and romanticizing the country of Ireland. Prone to the overconsumption of cheap spirits, with a diet consisting mainly of Lunchables and Buffalo Wild Wings.
Should the act of coitus present itself with a Boston Beauty it is best done in a clandestine and secret manner. Yet often commences in poor judgment after extreme intoxication at a public venue due to a lack of more attractive females. If sexual intercourse does occur with a Boston Beauty a prophylactic is highly advised due to their abundance of bacterial vaginosis, STDs and high levels of fertility.
A Boston Beauty refers to a woman that is mildly attractive enough to consider beddable given the lack of other options.
A woman with thin lips, large and crooked front teeth with a prominent forehead.
Usually very pale skinned with a rough and roguish vocabulary. Often incessantly speaking of sports and romanticizing the country of Ireland. Prone to the overconsumption of cheap spirits, with a diet consisting mainly of Lunchables and Buffalo Wild Wings.
Should the act of coitus present itself with a Boston Beauty it is best done in a clandestine and secret manner. Yet often commences in poor judgment after extreme intoxication at a public venue due to a lack of more attractive females. If sexual intercourse does occur with a Boston Beauty a prophylactic is highly advised due to their abundance of bacterial vaginosis, STDs and high levels of fertility.
“Did you see Jimmy with that Boston Beauty at the bar last night?”
“Yea, poor fellow thought no one he knew was around to see them together.”
“Oh well, I guess he’ll have to start hanging drywall again as he’ll be a dad soon.”
“Yea, poor fellow thought no one he knew was around to see them together.”
“Oh well, I guess he’ll have to start hanging drywall again as he’ll be a dad soon.”
Boston Beauty by HOSSBROOKLYN May 15, 2023
Zambezi Steamer
A bowel movement of great intensity brought on by the over consumption of spicy food.
Usually a slow building and contemplative process that crescendoes into the birthing of a mighty feculence.
So pungent, fervid and sultry is the defecation process that it steams up the entire bathroom to a state reminiscent of the dank and humid jungles of Central African flood plain of the Zambezi River.
Usually a slow building and contemplative process that crescendoes into the birthing of a mighty feculence.
So pungent, fervid and sultry is the defecation process that it steams up the entire bathroom to a state reminiscent of the dank and humid jungles of Central African flood plain of the Zambezi River.
Uncle Deepak just dropped a Zambezi Steamer and flattened the upstairs bathroom. We must open all the windows and evacuate the house quickly!
Zambezi Steamer by HOSSBROOKLYN May 11, 2023