HMB 's definitions
A "stealth bust" or "undercover bust". This describes the delightful surprise you get when a woman's breasts appear to be average or small when she's normally dressed, but then actually turn out to be unexpectedly large when she's naked. Also known as an "FBI visit", "CIA doorknock", or "Mossad strike" (or indeed any organization known to be stealthy... so not the NYPD, presumably).
AC (who is female): So, Bing, how did your date with that hot Indonesian chick go?
HMB (who is male): I'm still dazed.
AC: What happened?
HMB: Well, we caught a movie and then had dinner. After a glass of wine she asked to see my apartment, so I took her back. And you'd never believe it, but when I got her bra off, they almost poked my eyes out!
AC: Dear me. A police sting?
HMB: Aye.
AC: Get out! She looks so petite and slender!
HMB: You've got that right. She's the last person I'd have suspected of smuggling grapefruits. But hot damn! It was like dead heat in a zeppelin race in there.
AC: How big are they?
HMB: I'm guessing about 1.7 to 2.1 British Standard Handfuls. Not sure though. I might have to go back for more testing.
AC: Yes. Do that. Now.
HMB (who is male): I'm still dazed.
AC: What happened?
HMB: Well, we caught a movie and then had dinner. After a glass of wine she asked to see my apartment, so I took her back. And you'd never believe it, but when I got her bra off, they almost poked my eyes out!
AC: Dear me. A police sting?
HMB: Aye.
AC: Get out! She looks so petite and slender!
HMB: You've got that right. She's the last person I'd have suspected of smuggling grapefruits. But hot damn! It was like dead heat in a zeppelin race in there.
AC: How big are they?
HMB: I'm guessing about 1.7 to 2.1 British Standard Handfuls. Not sure though. I might have to go back for more testing.
AC: Yes. Do that. Now.
by HMB October 21, 2006
Get the police stingmug. 1. American colloquialism for a President, especially one who favors tax cuts, war with distant countries, and winning elections by exciting hair's breadth margins. Possessor of a lexicon and grammatical system entertaining beyond anything Lewis Carroll has dreamed up.
Many British visitors to the American shores are puzzled by American slang. It is worth remembering that the man they call "President Bush" is essentially the same person that the Brits call "President Cunt" back at home.
by HMB July 30, 2003
Get the George W. Bushmug. A play on the term decepticon. In the prostitution industry, "transformer" means transvestite/transsexual, and "decepticon" means any very convincing transvestite/transsexual.
An "e-cepticon" is an online version, especially a female buddy or penpal whom you have known for many years, and who turns out (despite all evidence to tbe contrary) to actually be male.
An "e-cepticon" is an online version, especially a female buddy or penpal whom you have known for many years, and who turns out (despite all evidence to tbe contrary) to actually be male.
HMB: I've been using this female username on this public game-related bulletin board for five years now, and people are pretty convinced I'm a woman, especially because I update the avatar occasionally with an female friend's picture. But, it's getting harder and harder to talk her into posing for avatar pics these days. I may just have to drop the whole charade and admit she was an e-cepticon.
by HMB April 28, 2005
Get the e-cepticonmug. 1. To masturbate to orgasm (usually suffixed by "over" something or somebody). This is usually but not exclusively used to describe male masturbation.
2. To lose consciousness (3rd person). Used when describing a general nonspecific occurrence.
3. To lose consciousness (1st person Royal). Used exclusively by members of the hereditary ruling families of English speaking countries to describe what happened to them when they were last playing "Who's the Tampon, Camilla?"
4. (imperative) An injunction given, in the 2nd person singular, to knock out one of whatever is to be knocked out.
2. To lose consciousness (3rd person). Used when describing a general nonspecific occurrence.
3. To lose consciousness (1st person Royal). Used exclusively by members of the hereditary ruling families of English speaking countries to describe what happened to them when they were last playing "Who's the Tampon, Camilla?"
4. (imperative) An injunction given, in the 2nd person singular, to knock out one of whatever is to be knocked out.
1. "Did you see that .jpeg of Madonna with the thong and pickled egg? I was on my way to work but when I saw that in my inbox I was waylaid by the need to rest awhile and knock one out."
2. "Billy, have you been knocking one out over here? The smell in this room is enough to knock one out."
3. "One has been knocking one out, one must pronounce oneself feeble as the strain of so doing has been enough to knock one out."
4. When two Scouse teenagers - wearing Kappa tracksuits and sporting formidable Scouse 'fro hairstyles - are going around smashing windows of buildings, and come across a 14th century church with several irreplaceable Gothic stained glass windows depicting scenes from the life of the Virgin Mary, passersby may often hear one Scouse youth inquire of the other whether the ecclesiastical image is worthy to be spared from their brand of urban renewal. The response is frequently "A-right, we'll just knock one out, then, an' leave the rest, okay Barry?" (HMB's Guide to Liverpool Nightlife, Fodders and Stoughton, 1993)
2. "Billy, have you been knocking one out over here? The smell in this room is enough to knock one out."
3. "One has been knocking one out, one must pronounce oneself feeble as the strain of so doing has been enough to knock one out."
4. When two Scouse teenagers - wearing Kappa tracksuits and sporting formidable Scouse 'fro hairstyles - are going around smashing windows of buildings, and come across a 14th century church with several irreplaceable Gothic stained glass windows depicting scenes from the life of the Virgin Mary, passersby may often hear one Scouse youth inquire of the other whether the ecclesiastical image is worthy to be spared from their brand of urban renewal. The response is frequently "A-right, we'll just knock one out, then, an' leave the rest, okay Barry?" (HMB's Guide to Liverpool Nightlife, Fodders and Stoughton, 1993)
by HMB April 6, 2003
Get the knock one outmug. "A fayre visaged manne was in the partee,
Lipsed of voyse, and limpe of wriste eek.
Ful wynsomme a crafty butcher was he,
We played heide thee sausage and I could not sitte downe for a weeke."
- Geoffrey Chaucer, Prologue to the Canterbury Tales
Lipsed of voyse, and limpe of wriste eek.
Ful wynsomme a crafty butcher was he,
We played heide thee sausage and I could not sitte downe for a weeke."
- Geoffrey Chaucer, Prologue to the Canterbury Tales
by HMB March 16, 2003
Get the crafty butchermug. A medical procedure in which a person puts on a rubber cock. Frequently done before instances of lesbian sex.
"I underwent a strapadictomy with my lesbian lover, Minjita."
by HMB July 26, 2003
Get the strapadictomymug. 1. A category of smoothbore firearm that fires pellets (shot) or slugs. Comes in break-action or pump-action variants. Known to cause fits of unpredictable joy in HMBs.
2. A method of defecation whereby the buttocks are spread prior to discharge.
3. An esoteric form of bukkake. Upon reaching the vinegar strokes, the shotgun initiator must hold his scrotum in one hand and his shaft in the other, and pump between each ejaculation. This is derived from the manner of operating a pump-action shotgun, although the ammunition in question is completely different.
4. Any wedding whereby the groom is extremely morose and the bride is extremely pregnant.
5. A type of corridor-style house where the front door and back door line up and are usually directly connected by a single, straight hallway.
2. A method of defecation whereby the buttocks are spread prior to discharge.
3. An esoteric form of bukkake. Upon reaching the vinegar strokes, the shotgun initiator must hold his scrotum in one hand and his shaft in the other, and pump between each ejaculation. This is derived from the manner of operating a pump-action shotgun, although the ammunition in question is completely different.
4. Any wedding whereby the groom is extremely morose and the bride is extremely pregnant.
5. A type of corridor-style house where the front door and back door line up and are usually directly connected by a single, straight hallway.
1. The TIE Pilot HuManBing was lying in wait, with his shotgun sight trained on a hill.
His recent work freelancing had tired him of late, so he took some time off for a kill.
Away on a hilltop, cavorting around, effete and effeminate prey,
Were multiple Yoshi, inchoate and dozy, about whom the TIE Pilot said:
"Blood! Blood! Glorious blood! Nothing quite like it to make one feel good!
So slide-shuck your shotgun, assuming you've got one,
And then we'll go pot some for glorious blood!"
(This can be sung to the tune of "The Hippopotamus" if so desired.)
2. Last night, I ate so much curry and then took a shotgun dump, and now my toilet is full of crapnel that won't flush away.
3. "It is inadvisable for neophyte bukkakist to attempt shotgun without presence of trained professional medical team. Please also to ensure that said team is well equipped with defibrillators, Viagra, and large cotton sock in case of emergency." *demure titter, covers face with fan* ~ Speech given at the entrance of the Sapporo Tourist Baths by the geisha guide.
4. Girlfriend: Guess what, Brad!
Boyfriend: You're going to put a stud in your tongue and use ice cubes next time?
Girlfriend: No - I'm pregnant! :D
Boyfriend: SHIT.
Girlfriend: We're going to have a baby! :D
Boyfriend: FUCK.
Girlfriend: There's going to be the pitter-patter of little feet in the house! :D
Boyfriend: ARSE.
Girlfriend: What type of marriage would you like? White or peach?
Boyfriend: SCROTE.
Girlfriend: Ohmygosh I'm going to have to call all my girlfriends so they can come over to coo and fawn solicitously in a sickening display of female hormonal Pavlovian response! :D
Boyfriend: TIT.
Girlfriend: What's the matter, dear? I sense a divergence of our emotive dispositions at this juncture.
Boyfriend: I'M NOT MARRYING ANYBODY. GODDAMIT I'M ONLY 23.
Girlfriend: Well, my Daddy's a federal marshal. We *could* make it a Magnum funeral, if you prefer.
Boyfriend: ...
Girlfriend: (singing, unhelpfully) Goin' to the cha-pel an' we're - gonna get ma-a-a-ried...
5. Agent Powell, here are your mission objectives:
A) Ride SHOTGUN with the Ret. Gen. to the Crawford rural area.
B) Approach SHOTGUN ranch through front door.
C) Force entry using rifled slug ammunition in SHOTGUN to remove the locking mechanism.
D) De-elect the resident with a SHOTGUN to the face.
E) Locate and de-elect the vice-resident with a SHOTGUN to the face.
F) After which, lower trousers and apply generous SHOTGUN to the face.
G) Spray Lysol in the air. It is the polite thing to do.
His recent work freelancing had tired him of late, so he took some time off for a kill.
Away on a hilltop, cavorting around, effete and effeminate prey,
Were multiple Yoshi, inchoate and dozy, about whom the TIE Pilot said:
"Blood! Blood! Glorious blood! Nothing quite like it to make one feel good!
So slide-shuck your shotgun, assuming you've got one,
And then we'll go pot some for glorious blood!"
(This can be sung to the tune of "The Hippopotamus" if so desired.)
2. Last night, I ate so much curry and then took a shotgun dump, and now my toilet is full of crapnel that won't flush away.
3. "It is inadvisable for neophyte bukkakist to attempt shotgun without presence of trained professional medical team. Please also to ensure that said team is well equipped with defibrillators, Viagra, and large cotton sock in case of emergency." *demure titter, covers face with fan* ~ Speech given at the entrance of the Sapporo Tourist Baths by the geisha guide.
4. Girlfriend: Guess what, Brad!
Boyfriend: You're going to put a stud in your tongue and use ice cubes next time?
Girlfriend: No - I'm pregnant! :D
Boyfriend: SHIT.
Girlfriend: We're going to have a baby! :D
Boyfriend: FUCK.
Girlfriend: There's going to be the pitter-patter of little feet in the house! :D
Boyfriend: ARSE.
Girlfriend: What type of marriage would you like? White or peach?
Boyfriend: SCROTE.
Girlfriend: Ohmygosh I'm going to have to call all my girlfriends so they can come over to coo and fawn solicitously in a sickening display of female hormonal Pavlovian response! :D
Boyfriend: TIT.
Girlfriend: What's the matter, dear? I sense a divergence of our emotive dispositions at this juncture.
Boyfriend: I'M NOT MARRYING ANYBODY. GODDAMIT I'M ONLY 23.
Girlfriend: Well, my Daddy's a federal marshal. We *could* make it a Magnum funeral, if you prefer.
Boyfriend: ...
Girlfriend: (singing, unhelpfully) Goin' to the cha-pel an' we're - gonna get ma-a-a-ried...
5. Agent Powell, here are your mission objectives:
A) Ride SHOTGUN with the Ret. Gen. to the Crawford rural area.
B) Approach SHOTGUN ranch through front door.
C) Force entry using rifled slug ammunition in SHOTGUN to remove the locking mechanism.
D) De-elect the resident with a SHOTGUN to the face.
E) Locate and de-elect the vice-resident with a SHOTGUN to the face.
F) After which, lower trousers and apply generous SHOTGUN to the face.
G) Spray Lysol in the air. It is the polite thing to do.
by HMB December 17, 2004
Get the shotgunmug.