GF's definitions
Hailing from Hulme, Manchester, the Old Footage Lady is a 75 year old woman who happens to be the world's oldest clubber. Trotting round without a care in the world other than to raise money for the NSPCC from pissed students at Footage and other like bars, she has been out every night for the past 30 years and raised over 60 million pounds for charity. She appears to have a heart of gold, but recently, the pressure has been getting to her. Local thug Dean Blair has started to take advantage of her. Using her reputation for being a charity worker, he sends her out to do the same job but instead of the money going to charity, it helps Dean Blair launder money through his Salt'n'Battery Chip Shop. Recently she has been spotted getting out of Deans car right outside Footage. She no longer speaks to the clubbers as she is too frightened, instead extending her arm holding the collection box.
However, an incident occured last week that could have scarred the woman for life. A young unnamed lass was dancing wildly on the dance floor, unbeknowingstly charging into the Old Footage Woamn. sending her hurling to the ground. The Crowd let out an almighty gasp as they thought she was dead. She did however survive, and the young girl was launched out of the club by power hungry bouncers on an ego trip. Dean Blair, amazingly, did not allow her to go to hospital. Instead, he sent her back in to finish her nights work. The woman is finally thinking of hanging up her boots, but determination to raise at least a little extra than usual, so she can keep a bit to give to her old charities, is driving her forward.
However, an incident occured last week that could have scarred the woman for life. A young unnamed lass was dancing wildly on the dance floor, unbeknowingstly charging into the Old Footage Woamn. sending her hurling to the ground. The Crowd let out an almighty gasp as they thought she was dead. She did however survive, and the young girl was launched out of the club by power hungry bouncers on an ego trip. Dean Blair, amazingly, did not allow her to go to hospital. Instead, he sent her back in to finish her nights work. The woman is finally thinking of hanging up her boots, but determination to raise at least a little extra than usual, so she can keep a bit to give to her old charities, is driving her forward.
by GF March 26, 2007
Get the Old Footage Woman mug.A person who digs through other peoples crap trying to find something of use, but usually ends up smelling like a pile of dung
"Wow, your child is quite the crap weasle!"
"I caught a crap weasle hanging out in my shitter"
"You smell like a crap weasle
"I caught a crap weasle hanging out in my shitter"
"You smell like a crap weasle
by GF January 28, 2003
Get the Crap Weasle mug.A humerous and witty retort aimed at people who offend you using the popular slang "your mum" which can have deep and hurtful meanings to the receiver often resulting in them getting annoyed and wanting to fight.
This line asks the receiver to visualise their own mother ona slice of toast, often with side fillings such as cheese , the funnier more extreme the better.
This line asks the receiver to visualise their own mother ona slice of toast, often with side fillings such as cheese , the funnier more extreme the better.
"Your mum!"
"Yeh? well your fuckin mum on toast with cheese and lettuce smothered in tomato sauce!"
"hey dude you fuckin suck"
"Your mum on toast bitch"
"Yeh? well your fuckin mum on toast with cheese and lettuce smothered in tomato sauce!"
"hey dude you fuckin suck"
"Your mum on toast bitch"
by GF September 4, 2008
Get the your mum on toast mug.The result of a life time of eating too many chicken kebabs and playing tennis. If one has fat calves they are always in denial that they have fat calves and claim that it is just muscle, resulting in asking in a rather homo-erotic way to feel the calves to show they are not fat when they are clearly visibly fat.
Predox "Had a beltin chicken kebab last night from Abdul's"
Keane "I can tell, your calves are looking fatter than usual lad"
Predox "My calves are not fat you swine! Come here, feel them, I'll prove I don't have fat calves"
Keane "No thanks"
Keane "I can tell, your calves are looking fatter than usual lad"
Predox "My calves are not fat you swine! Come here, feel them, I'll prove I don't have fat calves"
Keane "No thanks"
by GF August 19, 2006
Get the Fat Calves mug.Slang term for person. Usually used by violent thugs and hooligans when referring to another violent thug or hooligan. Can refer to either a friend or an enemy. See example below.
by GF August 22, 2004
Get the Mandem mug.A very laddish game used for house parties of all varieties. This game entails one person to wear a hat, the spectacular the better, this person is "it". Whilst wearing the hat nobody is allowed to talk to that person or say said persons name. Any reference to the man in the hat should be to name them the man in the hat. Any breach of these rules results in the hat being passed to you. Especially good whilst drunk and/or stoned.
example 1
Ahmed as Man In The Hat: "Keane, did you win that game of pro evo?"
Keane: "No i lo..fuck you're wearing the hat!"
example 2
Ahmed, now as a regular player: "Whos wearing the hat?"
Random n00b "Keane is"
OR
Ahmed, now as a regular player: "Whos wearing the hat?"
Experienced player "The Man In The Hat is wearing the hat."
Ahmed as Man In The Hat: "Keane, did you win that game of pro evo?"
Keane: "No i lo..fuck you're wearing the hat!"
example 2
Ahmed, now as a regular player: "Whos wearing the hat?"
Random n00b "Keane is"
OR
Ahmed, now as a regular player: "Whos wearing the hat?"
Experienced player "The Man In The Hat is wearing the hat."
by GF April 20, 2006
Get the The Man In The Hat mug.One of those rare unique phrases which has no physical meaning however when uttered everyone in the vacinity knows what you mean.
Used in conjuction with something going wrong for somebody, usually as a result of your mischievous doing. Can be used with similar words like shell.
Used in conjuction with something going wrong for somebody, usually as a result of your mischievous doing. Can be used with similar words like shell.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Blarted you beanhead!" yelled Shahzhad as Ahmed tripped over a stool on the floor. Unbeknown to Ahmed, Shahzad had planted this stool in a compromising juxtaposition with the door, a few minutes previously as he hear Ahmed marching forth from the great beyond. Then for no reason Shahzad said "Lung fainted over a lung" and chortled to himself and said blarted again a few more times.
by GF July 12, 2006
Get the Blarted mug.