3 definitions by False Buttocks
When a homosexual gentleman repeatedly slaps the buttocks of his arse-uppermost love-chum, using both hands on both cheeks, he is said to be playing the Briggsy Bongos. This was named in honour of the sex-crazed modern artist who, in the 1990s, beat the bum-drums of teenage boys in art colleges throughout south-east Asia and the English midlands.
Quentin, why on Earth are your divine fingertips bright purple?!
Oh, Melvyn! I met a delightful young man in the Tate Modern lavatories (you know the middle stall on the first floor?) and he simply begged me to bend him over the cistern and play the Briggsy Bongos until he needed new skins.
Oh, Melvyn! I met a delightful young man in the Tate Modern lavatories (you know the middle stall on the first floor?) and he simply begged me to bend him over the cistern and play the Briggsy Bongos until he needed new skins.
by False Buttocks July 16, 2017
A deadly, contagious disease believed to have been caused by the unfortunate double-booking of a meeting of the Bat-Fanciers Association and an acne-popping convention for the Spotty Dwarf Brigade, organised by renowned celebrity doodler, Briggsy, who is definitely going back to uni next year to do a Masters.
The CoBriggs-19 pandemic hit Nottingham's rent-boy community particularly hard due to Briggsy's refusal to stop fucking underage boys no matter how many pus-crazed bats feasted on what passes for his face the week before.
by False Buttocks October 21, 2020
A short, fat, cookie-monster-humping closet-dweller who blames illegible handwriting on his tiny hands.
by False Buttocks May 21, 2021