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Definitions by Facebook Zombie

Cheaster 

A portmanteau of the words “cheater” and “Easter.”

A cheaster is a Christian who only goes to church on:
Christmas
Ash Wednesday
Palm Sunday
Easter
“We better get to Christmas Mass earlier than we do on Sundays because all the cheasters will be there to hog up the pews.”
Cheaster by Facebook Zombie July 3, 2025

Big Drink 

Old slang term for the ocean, especially the Atlantic Ocean.
When my grandparents sailed across The Big Drink they spoke not a word of English.
Big Drink by Facebook Zombie November 14, 2018

desperation porn 

Video that features someone (usually female) who badly needs to urinate. Often she's fully clothed. Desperation video lovers find it extremely erotic. It's a fetish. Most of a desperation video is taken up with the subject crossing her legs tightly, holding her crotch, jiggling around outside a bathroom door and huffing & puffing and saying things like, "I gotta pee so bad!" The video's high point comes when she can no longer hold it and wets her pants.
Louis got really pissed off when we laughed at him after discovering he watches desperation porn.

Facebook zombie 

Facebook users who make themselves much more immune to being unfriended or blocked because they deactivate their account when they're not using it. This makes them invisible to the entire Facebook world so long as they stay deactivated.
"I don't want her creeping on my Facebook page anymore, but I can't unfriend or block her because she's a Facebook zombie."
Facebook zombie by Facebook Zombie December 27, 2013