1 definition by FGHI

Top Definition
Tiverton – defined by FGHI (part 1 of 6)

Tiverton is a town in Newport County, Rhode Island. Tiverton has 29.4 square miles of land, and 7.0 square miles of water. With an approximate population of only 15,000 people, most residents are familiar with one another. This small town can be divided into a north and south side. The north side is more populated, contains more businesses, and is more polluted than the south side. The south side is mostly uncontaminated, consisting of untouched woodlands, and many pastures designed for animal grazing. Adolescents who reside in Tiverton eloquently refer to the north side as ghetto.
There are four elementary schools in Tiverton. The schools are appropriately named Nonquit, Fort Barton, Pocasset, and Ranger. Ranger was indeed a very slummy establishment, but there were many memories worth retaining. Like the time a student with a speech impediment was scolded by an old and senile teacher. Or the time the students tied up a ghoulishly obese girl to a tree. There was also the fight where a boy hit the ground in tears after one punch to the eye. And of course, you cannot forget about the heated games of soccer and basketball the students played. The games were played so intensely that they either finished with a pseudo fight, or someone kicking the ball over the fence.
When the students got back home from elementary school they spent their time playing basketball. If a student wanted to be well received by his or her peers than youth league basketball was essential. However, Tiverton is so small that the father of one of the players on the team almost always coached. The fathers did their best to imitate what a real coach might do on the sidelines. But any fool could see that their ignorance of the game was unrivaled. This was evidenced by the coaches’ insistence to play their son or daughter all four quarters, regardless if they could make a layup or not. Somehow the children of the coaches’ were always elected to the all star team, because talent level did not matter. Youth league basketball was crafted to keep the snobbish parents of Tiverton happy; the whole league was arranged dishonestly.
Tiverton kid - "Shall we go to high rock or the tower, nig nog"?
by FGHI December 26, 2008
Mug icon
Buy a tiverton mug!