Eric Melech's definitions
The polar opposite of neckbeard (AKA hardcore nerd), in that a baldneck is completely devoid of technical knowledge beyond their car or TV remote.
They treat technology as if it were a personal affront, a multi-tentacled horror with a sentient intent in making their lives miserable. You see them yelling at self-checkouts and coinstars, and being unable to apply for jobs that require you to go to the employer's website. They think of fruit when they hear the word blackberry. They are amazed when they see a laptop display a webpage without being plugged into a wall. They really believe the banner ad saying they're the 100,000,000th visitor to that website. They can't sign onto facebook because they don't know the difference between a URL and an email address and keep trying to sign in with www.bballchick69@yahoo.com. In general, when it comes to computers, cellphones, etc. they are epic-level clueless mongoloids who, thanks to Darwinian evolution, will soon see their end.
Alternatively, baldnecks could just be those who only know enough to use myspace, twitter, digg, or other web 2.0 garbage, couldn't tell the difference between an iphone and a wiimote, and can't imagine any form of gaming that doesn't involve moving pixels behind a glowing rectangle. (see tabletop gaming). They will never know true love.
Either way, baldnecks are an endangered but irritatingly persistent species.
They treat technology as if it were a personal affront, a multi-tentacled horror with a sentient intent in making their lives miserable. You see them yelling at self-checkouts and coinstars, and being unable to apply for jobs that require you to go to the employer's website. They think of fruit when they hear the word blackberry. They are amazed when they see a laptop display a webpage without being plugged into a wall. They really believe the banner ad saying they're the 100,000,000th visitor to that website. They can't sign onto facebook because they don't know the difference between a URL and an email address and keep trying to sign in with www.bballchick69@yahoo.com. In general, when it comes to computers, cellphones, etc. they are epic-level clueless mongoloids who, thanks to Darwinian evolution, will soon see their end.
Alternatively, baldnecks could just be those who only know enough to use myspace, twitter, digg, or other web 2.0 garbage, couldn't tell the difference between an iphone and a wiimote, and can't imagine any form of gaming that doesn't involve moving pixels behind a glowing rectangle. (see tabletop gaming). They will never know true love.
Either way, baldnecks are an endangered but irritatingly persistent species.
n00b: I'm pushing the button on my computer and it won't restart! It just shuts off the screen!
n00b: Why isn't it working! It told me to put the mouse there and it's not doing anything!
n00b: Did you see those Warhammer Online shots? More like World of Warhammer. Online. Craft. (see Penny Arcade)
n00b: My computer performed an illegal operation!? OH NO!!!
g33k: ....freakin' baldnecks. *facepalms*
n00b: Why isn't it working! It told me to put the mouse there and it's not doing anything!
n00b: Did you see those Warhammer Online shots? More like World of Warhammer. Online. Craft. (see Penny Arcade)
n00b: My computer performed an illegal operation!? OH NO!!!
g33k: ....freakin' baldnecks. *facepalms*
by Eric Melech January 28, 2010
Get the baldneck mug.Since there are already a bunch of great definitions of this, I'll only add my two cents:
This has got to be one of THE MOST disturbing things I have seen, and I have seen many, many disturbing things. I'm not one to be creeped out
This has got to be one of THE MOST disturbing things I have seen, and I have seen many, many disturbing things. I'm not one to be creeped out
by Eric Melech April 7, 2005
Get the salad fingers mug.A mysterious device or artifact named in one of the earliest screenshots of Doom. See Captain's Hand and Sandwich.
by Eric Melech April 16, 2005
Get the Heart of Lothar mug.Someone who constantly ignores (iggy's) people in chatrooms and IRC, usually followed by informing the person of their being iggy'd. Yahoo chatters with programs like YElite and YTunnel are the worst offenders as those programs automatically spit out some digital garbage like "user, you just got ass canned in t3h hiz0uze biznatch yo yo yo! 1337 yidiots got theysawves CANNED yo yo yo!"
See the fucking goddamned definition!! Stupid urbandictionary and it's "Example must have at least 20 letters and 3 words"...
by Eric Melech April 16, 2005
Get the igger mug.A person (I use that word loosely) who overuses emoticons in chatrooms and emails. These people are lowly germs who must be eliminated.
kaybebe1617: hey dudds =D =D =D :) :) :)
jesse572789: juu hunny baby dawl :-* \:D/ >:) :P :) :) X-D X-D
...you get the idea.
jesse572789: juu hunny baby dawl :-* \:D/ >:) :P :) :) X-D X-D
...you get the idea.
by Eric Melech April 18, 2005
Get the emoticunt mug.The overwhelming anger of a nerd when something or someone gets the "facts" wrong on a geeky subject such as Star Trek, Dungeons & Dragons, Lunix, etc.
Nerd: "So what do you think about Star Trek?"
Human: "Isn't that the space show with Captain Jean Luc Skywalker?"
Nerd seethes and painstakingly explains in erudite detail on the differences between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Human sits there, pretends to think for a long moment, then says: But he's still a Jedi, right?
Nerd's head explodes from the massive influx of nerdrage.
-or-
Nerd: "Lunix truly is the superior operating system!"
Human: "Microsoft Windows is better."
Nerd: "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!??!!?!??!?!!!!?!?!"
Human: "Well, more programs run for it. And free stuff just sucks, man."
Nerd's eyes become bloodshot, face beet-red, and steam shoots from his ears.
Human: "Bill Gates is my hero."
Nerd: "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *heart attack*
Human: "Isn't that the space show with Captain Jean Luc Skywalker?"
Nerd seethes and painstakingly explains in erudite detail on the differences between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Human sits there, pretends to think for a long moment, then says: But he's still a Jedi, right?
Nerd's head explodes from the massive influx of nerdrage.
-or-
Nerd: "Lunix truly is the superior operating system!"
Human: "Microsoft Windows is better."
Nerd: "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!??!!?!??!?!!!!?!?!"
Human: "Well, more programs run for it. And free stuff just sucks, man."
Nerd's eyes become bloodshot, face beet-red, and steam shoots from his ears.
Human: "Bill Gates is my hero."
Nerd: "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *heart attack*
by Eric Melech December 28, 2007
Get the nerdrage mug.I voted for him instead of being another sheep voting for bush or kerry. Most people I know yelled at me, to which I said "fuck you, I am my own person, and if I don't think that either bush or kerry were worth voting for, then fuck 'em".
by Eric Melech April 19, 2005
Get the Michael Badnarik mug.