Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Winter Onions

Winter Onions are a set of balls that are shriveled in a taut scrotum. Primarily due to the cold.

The opposite of Summer Onions which are a saggy, dangly, sweaty set of balls. Primarily due to heat.

My winter onions are like a tanned piece of leather. It’s cold. I’ve never felt them so taut.

by Eaton Holgoode May 23, 2018

Velvet Scrunchie

A warm, snug and velvety smooth vagina.

Tom loved to bang his girlfriend Rachel. He loved nothing more than to inject his beef stick deep in her Velvet Scrunchie.

by Eaton Holgoode September 26, 2014

Ripped Stem to Stern

A colloquial expression refer in to pillaging anal sex that, while still pleasurable, is akin to feeling as if your rectum is being split open and in half from the base of the spine all the way to the sternum.

Although Drake's girthy man meat made her feel like she was being ripped stem to stern, Sandy begged for more.

by Eaton Holgoode November 15, 2015

Cotton Muzzle

To shove a girl's panties in her mouth as an improvised muzzling device. Done to quiet and muffle her overly loud moans and screams during sexual intercourse . A Cotton Muzzle is most often deployed when an individual is having sex with an unfamiliar female partner and such action is required as soon as one realizes that they have a real Screamer on their hands. The Cotton Muzzle provides immediate, evasive action to avoid waking up parents or roommates but does not impede the couples sexual rhythm.

Gary: Yo Braaahhh. What's up. Did you bring that chick home from the bar last night? I thought I heard a scream but went back to sleep.
Carl: Yea brooohhh. I was beatin dem guts up good. That bitch was a screamer yo. I couldn't stop banging dat ass so I had to give her the old Cotton Muzzle before she woke everyone up.

by Eaton Holgoode April 8, 2015

Skipper’s Knuckle

When your ass is being fingered so vigorously and intensely by a partner with fat, sausage fingers that you burst a vessel/hemorrhoid.

I gave Roger a skipper’s knuckle last night.

by Eaton Holgoode April 19, 2018

Plow the Corn Field

Engage in vigorous anal sex. Pillage the cornhole.

Rachel is at home waiting for me. She texted earlier she wants me to plow the corn field.

by Eaton Holgoode January 9, 2019

Geri-Jerk

When a male, typically in his 20's or 30's, receives a hand job from an elderly, geriatric male or geriatric female.

Frank went to Walmart and with a little sweet talk, picked up an old lady in the pharmacy department. She accompanied him to his car in the parking lot where she graciously gave Frank a Geri-Jerk before resuming her shopping for adult diapers and fiber pills.

by Eaton Holgoode September 15, 2015