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Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Slap the Salmon

Female masturbation or female/female sexual activity.
I drew a hot bath, lit a candle and laid back to slap the salmon.

My hot neighbor came over. After a bottle of wine, he hand was down my panties to slap the salmon.
Slap the Salmon by Eaton Holgoode January 16, 2019

Poon Danish 

That morning pussy. Poon danish is enjoyed most when you roll over and wake her up by eating that pussy good before anything else. Breakfast of champions.
I was late too work. Stopped off for a poon danish.

There’s donuts in the break room this morning. No thanks. I’m full. Had a poon danish before work.
Poon Danish by Eaton Holgoode January 16, 2019

Playing the Wet Bugle 

Dropping some serious wet sounding farts. May be simply from wet sounding gas. May also be the wet sound of flatulence after receiving ejaculate during anal sex.
Taco Bell last night made me start playing the wet bugle today.

After I laid my nut in LaKrieseha’s tight booty last night, she was playing the wet bugle about 3 am.

Batting Balls

Euphemistic reference to male masturbation. Jacking off.
What did you do last night? Stayed home batting balls.

My mom walked in on me batting balls last night. All she could say was Wow!

Coach: You missed hitting practice today. Where were you?
Player: No worries coach. I was in the locker room batting balls.
Batting Balls by Eaton Holgoode January 16, 2019

Snouting the Rose 

Stimulating your partner’s anus using your nose. Rubbing and punching around the sphincter. Known for its intoxicating aromas.
He was snouting the rose last night. This big schnoze felt great teasing the rim. I just took a shit but he didn’t care.

Fisherman’s Hook 

While she’s riding you cowgirl, you reach around with a hook shaped index finger, briskly insert it into her rectum and enjoy as she starts to flop around like a fish on a line.
Rachel started on with the dirty talk last night so when she closed her eyes I did the old fisherman’s hook. She was flopping like a trout on a 20 pound line.
Receiving a handy while in the standing position.
I got a standy last night in the unisex restroom from a tranny. It was awesome.

She was so horny when I got home she pulled down my shorts and gave me a standy.
Standy by Eaton Holgoode January 15, 2019