badger queen

Rather less attractive than a "cougar", the badger queen spends her time, money and energies trying to persuade men to have a relationship with her by offering a range easy sexual services...

She thinks she is entitled to anything she wants, your cock, anyone else's cock, her ex-husbands home, kids and wallet, a made-up job created at tax payers expense, 24 hour police protection, children (anyone's.. as long as she gets paid for "looking after" them)..

Usually securely employed in (overpaid) menial state sector work, such as nursing, and claiming vast amounts of welfare money too as a result of having pushed out a fanny turd or two.. She has protected status in a feminist dominated society and mistakes this for respect..

Usually seriously overweight and often drunk, she mistakes the lumps of dough hanging off her chest for attractive breasts and likes to find ways of presenting these amorphous heaps to the attention of potential victims..

She tries her best to hide the apron of lard that overhangs a vagina that looks like a cold congealed doner kebab wedged between a sumo wrestlers thighs..

She is trapped in this deluded lifestyle for the foreseeable future and the best she can hope for is a sad "fuck-buddy", while she tries to come to terms with her inability to persuade any bloke with a shred of self-respect to take her and her STD's on..
Hey, John, I had a date tonight with this woman who looked worth a poke on the face pic, but, well, when I saw the body and heard what she had to say, it was clear she was a rancid badger queen.. I went to the gents, did a runner, and never looked back!
by Drex Johnson July 18, 2011
mugGet the badger queenmug.

fuck buddy

A stupid slut that a non-committal guy uses for sex.

Also a dumb bloke used as a scratching post by a busy women when she gets an itch in her pants..
"I dumped her, she said she just wanted a fuck buddy, but I bet she'd be trying to get me to move in within a few weeks.. "
by Drex Johnson November 03, 2008
mugGet the fuck buddymug.

sperm sponge

A woman who seems to have a tendancy to soak up semen from all directions with no obvious limitation.
stop pestering, ive shagged you 15 times already and its nearly time for breakfast.. Go make me a full english you fucking sperm sponge..
by Drex Johnson November 03, 2008
mugGet the sperm spongemug.

fish rack

A row of women lined up for Sir's pleasure. Usually found in shandy rags, porn films, or Leicester City's changing rooms..

Very rarely encountered in real life, but I guess if a gent has a deep pocket the haddocks will oblige for the usual fee..

Taxi home and a bag of cheesy chips usually does it, but gents living outside of Wrexham may struggle to find willing victims easily..

Those in the Wrexham area are advised to keep the chip bags for putting over the heads of the specimens in order to "keep wood" while the procedure is being performed..
Richard was training hard on the sea-front throughout the summer season in Rhyl, ready for the Wrexham decathalon later in the year, where legends of the pork sword gather in an attempt to show their moves on the 10 haddock fish rack..
by Drex Johnson September 21, 2011
mugGet the fish rackmug.

shinnie the wit

The Polite Spoonerist way of addressing Winnie The Pooh's father, the unforunately named Winnie The Shit..
Boy: "Daddy, why is Winnie the Pooh called Pooh?"

Daddy: "Because he is a little Sh.. Pooh!, but his father decided to change the family name to something less obviously turd related.. Not a particularly major change considering the fact that most folk still wonder if the name of "pooh" is in anyway related to the fact the perverted bear is naked from the waist down.."

Boy: "So, what was his father called?"..

Daddy: "erm, ... Shinnie the Wit?"
by Drex Johnson March 08, 2010
mugGet the shinnie the witmug.

bellus terminus

Glans penis.. The knob end, bobbies helmet, poison tip, of a gentlemans pleasure pole..

Commonly known as the "bell end". The term "bellus terminus" was first used in posh private boys schools by boys who were not that good at latin..
Richard drove home in the morning back to his lovely sweet wife who he loved dearly.. Following a night of extreme pleasure with one of the promiscuous students at the local university, his marraige vows had been broken, his shaft looked like a grated carrot, and his Bellus Terminus looked like a blind cobblers thumb.. But it was worth it!
by Drex Johnson July 22, 2011
mugGet the bellus terminusmug.

wankport

Internet connection, usually via laptop, personal computer.. Can be used to access services other than pr0n.. (Theoretically)..
John was just about to lose his mess when all of a sudden the faptop shut down and proceeded to install a much needed windows upgrade (sarcasm)..

His wankport now out of commission, John was forced to thumb through the NEXT catalogue ladies underwear section for emergency wrist fodder..
by Drex Johnson August 25, 2013
mugGet the wankportmug.