Drex Johnson's definitions

sperm sponge

A woman who seems to have a tendancy to soak up semen from all directions with no obvious limitation.

stop pestering, ive shagged you 15 times already and its nearly time for breakfast.. Go make me a full english you fucking sperm sponge..

by Drex Johnson November 3, 2008

Common Universal Natural Tendency

How to say "Cunt" without making it obvious..

I was going to ask my girlfriend if would be OK for me to spend an evening out on the town getting shitfaced with the lads, but the Common Universal Natural Tendency of a woman does not approve of a man enjoying himself without her being there..

by Drex Johnson September 30, 2014

bellus terminus

Glans penis.. The knob end, bobbies helmet, poison tip, of a gentlemans pleasure pole..

Commonly known as the "bell end". The term "bellus terminus" was first used in posh private boys schools by boys who were not that good at latin..

Richard drove home in the morning back to his lovely sweet wife who he loved dearly.. Following a night of extreme pleasure with one of the promiscuous students at the local university, his marraige vows had been broken, his shaft looked like a grated carrot, and his Bellus Terminus looked like a blind cobblers thumb.. But it was worth it!

by Drex Johnson July 22, 2011

wankport

Internet connection, usually via laptop, personal computer.. Can be used to access services other than pr0n.. (Theoretically)..

John was just about to lose his mess when all of a sudden the faptop shut down and proceeded to install a much needed windows upgrade (sarcasm)..

His wankport now out of commission, John was forced to thumb through the NEXT catalogue ladies underwear section for emergency wrist fodder..

by Drex Johnson August 25, 2013

Genurine

Genuine sounding, but more likely than not a complete piss-take..

I knew I was correct in my long held belief that the princess was really genurine in her role as the faithful loving wife of the future king when I noted the startling resemblance of one her sons to his father..

by Drex Johnson October 14, 2015

Shag Dodger

A person who avoids their obligations in the bedroom (or any other place where sex can be expected to happen)..

Drex was most put out at the expectation that he should shaft Big Lady after she had made him another fine meal..

All he really wanted to do was go to sleep, but the thought of her labelling him a "Shag Dodger" in the morning was too depressing to contemplate so he reluctantly Rogered her brains out several times..

by Drex Johnson September 30, 2014

dog snot

The clear fluid that dribbles from the eye of a gentlemans pleasure pole prior to the big unloading..

So called because it is similar in taste and consistency to the stuff that leaks out of Fido's nose..

Useful for lubricating the mammaries as you thrust the man-meat between them before giving madam a pearl necklace..

Madam: "Have you cum?"..

Sir: "Not yet darling.."

Madam: "Whats that mess on me tits then?"..

Sir: "That's just dog snot dear.. Tadpole soup will be delievered shortly..

by Drex Johnson March 8, 2010