Drex Johnson's definitions

Grem

Rubbish skateboarder. Popular in the UK back in the 70's..

Gremtec Coyote skateboards .. Cheap little plastic planks often seen tictacking along the flat until the grems riding them realise the reason they cant handle the half pipe yet is because 360's are not everything and a wider board is more stable..
And most of all, they are still grems!

by Drex Johnson May 27, 2017

ball bagged

The status of once proud and fearless gent of integrity who has lost his freedom and right to roam by submitting to the manipulations of a "ball bagger"..

This sad turn of events often happens to men in the prime of their lives, and could be a reaction to the stresses of "freedom" and the poor quality of casual pick-up material on offer these days..

Usually such specimens of men are rarely seen outside of the work environment or at family gatherings usually arranged by their miserable and deeply insecure female "owners". Any attempt to assert their previous rights to roam are met with histrionics, prolonged sulking, sex strikes and threats of "violence by proxy" often involving family members or friends of the ball bagger, the police, or family courts..

A ball bagged man is the butt of many jokes, as he lives in a form of comfortable castration rather like a neutered housepet.. But never has any real fun anymore, because his balls, are in "she who must be obeyed"'s handbag..

Bill realised, as he looked in the mirror at a body that was once lean and athletic but now looks as sad and sorry as the heap of lard sulking on the sofa that had ball bagged him into this pathetic life, that he was not really able to escape now. The price would be too high and he didn't want to end up unable to see his child, even though that was what had trapped him in this situation in the first place..

by Drex Johnson July 22, 2011

one-eyed-bed-snake

The blind organ of masculinity commonly found nestled between a gentlemans thighs that often wakes early in the morning independantly of its owner..

Gravitates towards madams dick-ditch if she should bed down with sir..

The one-eyed-bed-snake was on fine form this morning, but my wife was having none of it so I had to use my hand..

by Drex Johnson March 8, 2010

dog snot

The clear fluid that dribbles from the eye of a gentlemans pleasure pole prior to the big unloading..

So called because it is similar in taste and consistency to the stuff that leaks out of Fido's nose..

Useful for lubricating the mammaries as you thrust the man-meat between them before giving madam a pearl necklace..

Madam: "Have you cum?"..

Sir: "Not yet darling.."

Madam: "Whats that mess on me tits then?"..

Sir: "That's just dog snot dear.. Tadpole soup will be delievered shortly..

by Drex Johnson March 8, 2010

Midnight Randyvous

The act of meeting for sex at a time best chosen for its deliberate inconvenience for any other activities, thus getting round and avoiding the usual boredom, expense and interrogative shit of a "date"..

My therapist told me my low levels of respect for women probably stemmed from my habit of only ever agreeing to meet them for a midnight randyvous, after spending several hours priming them for action via MSN and other forms of internet self-abuse

by Drex Johnson July 21, 2011

Jug Surfing

Riding astride the chest of a large breasted milk maid prior to releasing a portion of tadpole soup twixt the humps and over the face..

Miss Jones's tits are made for jug surfing! What greater pleasure can a gentleman have than to get his solid masculinity in the trough between the soft pulpy wonders and thrust away till the cream beans come out to play!

by Drex Johnson March 8, 2010

fuck buddy

A stupid slut that a non-committal guy uses for sex.

Also a dumb bloke used as a scratching post by a busy women when she gets an itch in her pants..

"I dumped her, she said she just wanted a fuck buddy, but I bet she'd be trying to get me to move in within a few weeks.. "

by Drex Johnson November 3, 2008