gash master

A large and useful tool that can always do the job to satisfaction..

Gent with a reputation for satisfying the ladies sexually..
Step aside", said the tall dark stranger.. Gripping his robust and solid tool in both hands.. "Gash master will show you how its done!
by Drex Johnson May 21, 2011
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fish rack

A row of women lined up for Sir's pleasure. Usually found in shandy rags, porn films, or Leicester City's changing rooms..

Very rarely encountered in real life, but I guess if a gent has a deep pocket the haddocks will oblige for the usual fee..

Taxi home and a bag of cheesy chips usually does it, but gents living outside of Wrexham may struggle to find willing victims easily..

Those in the Wrexham area are advised to keep the chip bags for putting over the heads of the specimens in order to "keep wood" while the procedure is being performed..
Richard was training hard on the sea-front throughout the summer season in Rhyl, ready for the Wrexham decathalon later in the year, where legends of the pork sword gather in an attempt to show their moves on the 10 haddock fish rack..
by Drex Johnson September 21, 2011
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one-eyed-bed-snake

The blind organ of masculinity commonly found nestled between a gentlemans thighs that often wakes early in the morning independantly of its owner..

Gravitates towards madams dick-ditch if she should bed down with sir..
The one-eyed-bed-snake was on fine form this morning, but my wife was having none of it so I had to use my hand..
by Drex Johnson March 08, 2010
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fingering the dog

lazy around and doing nothing of note other than surfing the web, watching crappy TV or abusing house pets etc..
"Hey William, you really aught to come train in the gym and get yourself ready for the beach, instead of spending all your free time fingering the dog.."
by Drex Johnson March 08, 2010
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How to say "Cunt" without making it obvious..
I was going to ask my girlfriend if would be OK for me to spend an evening out on the town getting shitfaced with the lads, but the Common Universal Natural Tendency of a woman does not approve of a man enjoying himself without her being there..
by Drex Johnson September 30, 2014
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badger queen

Rather less attractive than a "cougar", the badger queen spends her time, money and energies trying to persuade men to have a relationship with her by offering a range easy sexual services...

She thinks she is entitled to anything she wants, your cock, anyone else's cock, her ex-husbands home, kids and wallet, a made-up job created at tax payers expense, 24 hour police protection, children (anyone's.. as long as she gets paid for "looking after" them)..

Usually securely employed in (overpaid) menial state sector work, such as nursing, and claiming vast amounts of welfare money too as a result of having pushed out a fanny turd or two.. She has protected status in a feminist dominated society and mistakes this for respect..

Usually seriously overweight and often drunk, she mistakes the lumps of dough hanging off her chest for attractive breasts and likes to find ways of presenting these amorphous heaps to the attention of potential victims..

She tries her best to hide the apron of lard that overhangs a vagina that looks like a cold congealed doner kebab wedged between a sumo wrestlers thighs..

She is trapped in this deluded lifestyle for the foreseeable future and the best she can hope for is a sad "fuck-buddy", while she tries to come to terms with her inability to persuade any bloke with a shred of self-respect to take her and her STD's on..
Hey, John, I had a date tonight with this woman who looked worth a poke on the face pic, but, well, when I saw the body and heard what she had to say, it was clear she was a rancid badger queen.. I went to the gents, did a runner, and never looked back!
by Drex Johnson July 18, 2011
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Jug Surfing

Riding astride the chest of a large breasted milk maid prior to releasing a portion of tadpole soup twixt the humps and over the face..
Miss Jones's tits are made for jug surfing! What greater pleasure can a gentleman have than to get his solid masculinity in the trough between the soft pulpy wonders and thrust away till the cream beans come out to play!
by Drex Johnson March 08, 2010
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