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Drex Johnson's definitions

sperm sponge

A woman who seems to have a tendancy to soak up semen from all directions with no obvious limitation.
stop pestering, ive shagged you 15 times already and its nearly time for breakfast.. Go make me a full english you fucking sperm sponge..
by Drex Johnson November 3, 2008
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ball bagged

The status of once proud and fearless gent of integrity who has lost his freedom and right to roam by submitting to the manipulations of a "ball bagger"..

This sad turn of events often happens to men in the prime of their lives, and could be a reaction to the stresses of "freedom" and the poor quality of casual pick-up material on offer these days..

Usually such specimens of men are rarely seen outside of the work environment or at family gatherings usually arranged by their miserable and deeply insecure female "owners". Any attempt to assert their previous rights to roam are met with histrionics, prolonged sulking, sex strikes and threats of "violence by proxy" often involving family members or friends of the ball bagger, the police, or family courts..

A ball bagged man is the butt of many jokes, as he lives in a form of comfortable castration rather like a neutered housepet.. But never has any real fun anymore, because his balls, are in "she who must be obeyed"'s handbag..
Bill realised, as he looked in the mirror at a body that was once lean and athletic but now looks as sad and sorry as the heap of lard sulking on the sofa that had ball bagged him into this pathetic life, that he was not really able to escape now. The price would be too high and he didn't want to end up unable to see his child, even though that was what had trapped him in this situation in the first place..
by Drex Johnson July 22, 2011
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dog snot

The clear fluid that dribbles from the eye of a gentlemans pleasure pole prior to the big unloading..

So called because it is similar in taste and consistency to the stuff that leaks out of Fido's nose..

Useful for lubricating the mammaries as you thrust the man-meat between them before giving madam a pearl necklace..
Madam: "Have you cum?"..

Sir: "Not yet darling.."

Madam: "Whats that mess on me tits then?"..

Sir: "That's just dog snot dear.. Tadpole soup will be delievered shortly..
by Drex Johnson March 8, 2010
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Shag Dodger

A person who avoids their obligations in the bedroom (or any other place where sex can be expected to happen)..
Drex was most put out at the expectation that he should shaft Big Lady after she had made him another fine meal..

All he really wanted to do was go to sleep, but the thought of her labelling him a "Shag Dodger" in the morning was too depressing to contemplate so he reluctantly Rogered her brains out several times..
by Drex Johnson September 30, 2014
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psycholojism

The language used by amateur (and sometimes professional) psychologists and sociologists to talk bollocks in order to invalidate an opponent in a debate, court, or forum..

A load of head-jism..
"The shrink told the court I was a psychotic, manic, schizo, narcissistic, empathy devoid and unsuitable human being for anything worthy of respect.. But frankly, thats just a load of psycholojism, commonly known as 'bollocks'..

I told the judge to shove it up his fucking arse.. I guess that proved a point.."
by Drex Johnson November 12, 2011
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Midnight Randyvous

The act of meeting for sex at a time best chosen for its deliberate inconvenience for any other activities, thus getting round and avoiding the usual boredom, expense and interrogative shit of a "date"..
My therapist told me my low levels of respect for women probably stemmed from my habit of only ever agreeing to meet them for a midnight randyvous, after spending several hours priming them for action via MSN and other forms of internet self-abuse
by Drex Johnson July 21, 2011
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gash master

A large and useful tool that can always do the job to satisfaction..

Gent with a reputation for satisfying the ladies sexually..
Step aside", said the tall dark stranger.. Gripping his robust and solid tool in both hands.. "Gash master will show you how its done!
by Drex Johnson June 20, 2011
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