Definitions by Drex Johnson
wankport
Internet connection, usually via laptop, personal computer.. Can be used to access services other than pr0n.. (Theoretically)..
John was just about to lose his mess when all of a sudden the faptop shut down and proceeded to install a much needed windows upgrade (sarcasm)..
His wankport now out of commission, John was forced to thumb through the NEXT catalogue ladies underwear section for emergency wrist fodder..
His wankport now out of commission, John was forced to thumb through the NEXT catalogue ladies underwear section for emergency wrist fodder..
wankport by Drex Johnson August 25, 2013
Barbie Hammock
An absorbent item worn by a woman while she is menstruating, recovering from vaginal surgery, for lochia (post birth bleeding), abortion, or any other situation where it is necessary to absorb a flow of blood from a woman's vagina.
Big Lady had a very heavy period that evening and the Barbie Hammock she had borrowed from her daughters dolls house simply wasn't sufficient to plug the flow from the barn doors.. So she grabbed Dave's Ushanka hat and unceremoniously stuffed it in the stench trench in full view of the other guests..
Barbie Hammock by Drex Johnson October 23, 2012
psycholojism
The language used by amateur (and sometimes professional) psychologists and sociologists to talk bollocks in order to invalidate an opponent in a debate, court, or forum..
A load of head-jism..
A load of head-jism..
"The shrink told the court I was a psychotic, manic, schizo, narcissistic, empathy devoid and unsuitable human being for anything worthy of respect.. But frankly, thats just a load of psycholojism, commonly known as 'bollocks'..
I told the judge to shove it up his fucking arse.. I guess that proved a point.."
I told the judge to shove it up his fucking arse.. I guess that proved a point.."
psycholojism by Drex Johnson November 12, 2011
WRIMDITH
Acronym. Would Rather Insert My Dick In The Hoover..
Phrase often used by gents of integrity when discussing the Drex Rating of a target specimen..
Useful for bar room banter when ladies are present, especially "friends" of the beast are within earshot..
Of course, that means one may be asked to explain what it means..
Phrase often used by gents of integrity when discussing the Drex Rating of a target specimen..
Useful for bar room banter when ladies are present, especially "friends" of the beast are within earshot..
Of course, that means one may be asked to explain what it means..
Jack:- So then, Drex, would you slip it one?
Drex:- Wrimdith..
It's Friend:- What's that mean?
Drex:- Well, Rather Interesting. Most Desirable, I Truly Hope..
It's Friend:- Thats great, she has been after you for ages, I'll go tell her, she will be well chuffed..
Jack:- You're in luck Drex! Go for it!
It:- Hi Drex, Feeling lucky tonight?
Drex:- You look absolutely stunning tonight I have to say, and this kingsized boner I have for you is truly ready for the pleasures of the night.. But first of all, allow me to buy you a drink in the time honoured way of the true gentleman.. Just wait here a moment, I'll have to pop out to the car and get my wallet...
Drex:- Wrimdith..
It's Friend:- What's that mean?
Drex:- Well, Rather Interesting. Most Desirable, I Truly Hope..
It's Friend:- Thats great, she has been after you for ages, I'll go tell her, she will be well chuffed..
Jack:- You're in luck Drex! Go for it!
It:- Hi Drex, Feeling lucky tonight?
Drex:- You look absolutely stunning tonight I have to say, and this kingsized boner I have for you is truly ready for the pleasures of the night.. But first of all, allow me to buy you a drink in the time honoured way of the true gentleman.. Just wait here a moment, I'll have to pop out to the car and get my wallet...
WRIMDITH by Drex Johnson October 21, 2011
fish rack
A row of women lined up for Sir's pleasure. Usually found in shandy rags, porn films, or Leicester City's changing rooms..
Very rarely encountered in real life, but I guess if a gent has a deep pocket the haddocks will oblige for the usual fee..
Taxi home and a bag of cheesy chips usually does it, but gents living outside of Wrexham may struggle to find willing victims easily..
Those in the Wrexham area are advised to keep the chip bags for putting over the heads of the specimens in order to "keep wood" while the procedure is being performed..
Very rarely encountered in real life, but I guess if a gent has a deep pocket the haddocks will oblige for the usual fee..
Taxi home and a bag of cheesy chips usually does it, but gents living outside of Wrexham may struggle to find willing victims easily..
Those in the Wrexham area are advised to keep the chip bags for putting over the heads of the specimens in order to "keep wood" while the procedure is being performed..
Richard was training hard on the sea-front throughout the summer season in Rhyl, ready for the Wrexham decathalon later in the year, where legends of the pork sword gather in an attempt to show their moves on the 10 haddock fish rack..
fish rack by Drex Johnson September 21, 2011
ball bagged
The status of once proud and fearless gent of integrity who has lost his freedom and right to roam by submitting to the manipulations of a "ball bagger"..
This sad turn of events often happens to men in the prime of their lives, and could be a reaction to the stresses of "freedom" and the poor quality of casual pick-up material on offer these days..
Usually such specimens of men are rarely seen outside of the work environment or at family gatherings usually arranged by their miserable and deeply insecure female "owners". Any attempt to assert their previous rights to roam are met with histrionics, prolonged sulking, sex strikes and threats of "violence by proxy" often involving family members or friends of the ball bagger, the police, or family courts..
A ball bagged man is the butt of many jokes, as he lives in a form of comfortable castration rather like a neutered housepet.. But never has any real fun anymore, because his balls, are in "she who must be obeyed"'s handbag..
This sad turn of events often happens to men in the prime of their lives, and could be a reaction to the stresses of "freedom" and the poor quality of casual pick-up material on offer these days..
Usually such specimens of men are rarely seen outside of the work environment or at family gatherings usually arranged by their miserable and deeply insecure female "owners". Any attempt to assert their previous rights to roam are met with histrionics, prolonged sulking, sex strikes and threats of "violence by proxy" often involving family members or friends of the ball bagger, the police, or family courts..
A ball bagged man is the butt of many jokes, as he lives in a form of comfortable castration rather like a neutered housepet.. But never has any real fun anymore, because his balls, are in "she who must be obeyed"'s handbag..
Bill realised, as he looked in the mirror at a body that was once lean and athletic but now looks as sad and sorry as the heap of lard sulking on the sofa that had ball bagged him into this pathetic life, that he was not really able to escape now. The price would be too high and he didn't want to end up unable to see his child, even though that was what had trapped him in this situation in the first place..
ball bagged by Drex Johnson July 22, 2011
bellus terminus
Glans penis.. The knob end, bobbies helmet, poison tip, of a gentlemans pleasure pole..
Commonly known as the "bell end". The term "bellus terminus" was first used in posh private boys schools by boys who were not that good at latin..
Commonly known as the "bell end". The term "bellus terminus" was first used in posh private boys schools by boys who were not that good at latin..
Richard drove home in the morning back to his lovely sweet wife who he loved dearly.. Following a night of extreme pleasure with one of the promiscuous students at the local university, his marraige vows had been broken, his shaft looked like a grated carrot, and his Bellus Terminus looked like a blind cobblers thumb.. But it was worth it!
bellus terminus by Drex Johnson July 22, 2011