Drex Johnson's definitions
lazy around and doing nothing of note other than surfing the web, watching crappy TV or abusing house pets etc..
"Hey William, you really aught to come train in the gym and get yourself ready for the beach, instead of spending all your free time fingering the dog.."
by Drex Johnson March 8, 2010
Get the fingering the dog mug.A large juicy and succulent vagina with mouth-wateringly sweet pink and fleshy lips..
Not so appealing to vegans and vegetarians..
More a gourmet dish for the committed practicing Vaginarian..
Must be eaten fresh, or it rapidly becomes a musky mackerel, which is not quite so fresh, or even worse, a rancid pilchard..
Not so appealing to vegans and vegetarians..
More a gourmet dish for the committed practicing Vaginarian..
Must be eaten fresh, or it rapidly becomes a musky mackerel, which is not quite so fresh, or even worse, a rancid pilchard..
Big lady was a strange name for a woman who was only slightly above average height and was not really more weighty than the average western factory farm fed female.. (220lbs)..
But it became clear on webcam that her diet of cakes and lard had somehow enabled her to showcase a gutted salmon to her fans the likes of which is rare seen online and that a gent could definitely lose his head in when searching for his wrist watch in the morning after the pleasures of the night..
But it became clear on webcam that her diet of cakes and lard had somehow enabled her to showcase a gutted salmon to her fans the likes of which is rare seen online and that a gent could definitely lose his head in when searching for his wrist watch in the morning after the pleasures of the night..
by Drex Johnson October 18, 2016
Get the gutted salmon mug.A large and useful tool that can always do the job to satisfaction..
Gent with a reputation for satisfying the ladies sexually..
Gent with a reputation for satisfying the ladies sexually..
Step aside", said the tall dark stranger.. Gripping his robust and solid tool in both hands.. "Gash master will show you how its done!
by Drex Johnson June 20, 2011
Get the gash master mug.A stupid slut that a non-committal guy uses for sex.
Also a dumb bloke used as a scratching post by a busy women when she gets an itch in her pants..
Also a dumb bloke used as a scratching post by a busy women when she gets an itch in her pants..
"I dumped her, she said she just wanted a fuck buddy, but I bet she'd be trying to get me to move in within a few weeks.. "
by Drex Johnson November 3, 2008
Get the fuck buddy mug.Rather less attractive than a "cougar", the badger queen spends her time, money and energies trying to persuade men to have a relationship with her by offering a range easy sexual services...
She thinks she is entitled to anything she wants, your cock, anyone else's cock, her ex-husbands home, kids and wallet, a made-up job created at tax payers expense, 24 hour police protection, children (anyone's.. as long as she gets paid for "looking after" them)..
Usually securely employed in (overpaid) menial state sector work, such as nursing, and claiming vast amounts of welfare money too as a result of having pushed out a fanny turd or two.. She has protected status in a feminist dominated society and mistakes this for respect..
Usually seriously overweight and often drunk, she mistakes the lumps of dough hanging off her chest for attractive breasts and likes to find ways of presenting these amorphous heaps to the attention of potential victims..
She tries her best to hide the apron of lard that overhangs a vagina that looks like a cold congealed doner kebab wedged between a sumo wrestlers thighs..
She is trapped in this deluded lifestyle for the foreseeable future and the best she can hope for is a sad "fuck-buddy", while she tries to come to terms with her inability to persuade any bloke with a shred of self-respect to take her and her STD's on..
She thinks she is entitled to anything she wants, your cock, anyone else's cock, her ex-husbands home, kids and wallet, a made-up job created at tax payers expense, 24 hour police protection, children (anyone's.. as long as she gets paid for "looking after" them)..
Usually securely employed in (overpaid) menial state sector work, such as nursing, and claiming vast amounts of welfare money too as a result of having pushed out a fanny turd or two.. She has protected status in a feminist dominated society and mistakes this for respect..
Usually seriously overweight and often drunk, she mistakes the lumps of dough hanging off her chest for attractive breasts and likes to find ways of presenting these amorphous heaps to the attention of potential victims..
She tries her best to hide the apron of lard that overhangs a vagina that looks like a cold congealed doner kebab wedged between a sumo wrestlers thighs..
She is trapped in this deluded lifestyle for the foreseeable future and the best she can hope for is a sad "fuck-buddy", while she tries to come to terms with her inability to persuade any bloke with a shred of self-respect to take her and her STD's on..
Hey, John, I had a date tonight with this woman who looked worth a poke on the face pic, but, well, when I saw the body and heard what she had to say, it was clear she was a rancid badger queen.. I went to the gents, did a runner, and never looked back!
by Drex Johnson July 18, 2011
Get the badger queen mug.An absorbent item worn by a woman while she is menstruating, recovering from vaginal surgery, for lochia (post birth bleeding), abortion, or any other situation where it is necessary to absorb a flow of blood from a woman's vagina.
Big Lady had a very heavy period that evening and the Barbie Hammock she had borrowed from her daughters dolls house simply wasn't sufficient to plug the flow from the barn doors.. So she grabbed Dave's Ushanka hat and unceremoniously stuffed it in the stench trench in full view of the other guests..
by Drex Johnson October 23, 2012
Get the Barbie Hammock mug.A woman who seems to have a tendancy to soak up semen from all directions with no obvious limitation.
stop pestering, ive shagged you 15 times already and its nearly time for breakfast.. Go make me a full english you fucking sperm sponge..
by Drex Johnson November 3, 2008
Get the sperm sponge mug.