Drex Johnson's definitions
A woman who seems to have a tendancy to soak up semen from all directions with no obvious limitation.
stop pestering, ive shagged you 15 times already and its nearly time for breakfast.. Go make me a full english you fucking sperm sponge..
by Drex Johnson November 3, 2008
Get the sperm spongemug. The Polite Spoonerist way of addressing Winnie The Pooh's father, the unforunately named Winnie The Shit..
Boy: "Daddy, why is Winnie the Pooh called Pooh?"
Daddy: "Because he is a little Sh.. Pooh!, but his father decided to change the family name to something less obviously turd related.. Not a particularly major change considering the fact that most folk still wonder if the name of "pooh" is in anyway related to the fact the perverted bear is naked from the waist down.."
Boy: "So, what was his father called?"..
Daddy: "erm, ... Shinnie the Wit?"
Daddy: "Because he is a little Sh.. Pooh!, but his father decided to change the family name to something less obviously turd related.. Not a particularly major change considering the fact that most folk still wonder if the name of "pooh" is in anyway related to the fact the perverted bear is naked from the waist down.."
Boy: "So, what was his father called?"..
Daddy: "erm, ... Shinnie the Wit?"
by Drex Johnson March 8, 2010
Get the shinnie the witmug. A row of women lined up for Sir's pleasure. Usually found in shandy rags, porn films, or Leicester City's changing rooms..
Very rarely encountered in real life, but I guess if a gent has a deep pocket the haddocks will oblige for the usual fee..
Taxi home and a bag of cheesy chips usually does it, but gents living outside of Wrexham may struggle to find willing victims easily..
Those in the Wrexham area are advised to keep the chip bags for putting over the heads of the specimens in order to "keep wood" while the procedure is being performed..
Very rarely encountered in real life, but I guess if a gent has a deep pocket the haddocks will oblige for the usual fee..
Taxi home and a bag of cheesy chips usually does it, but gents living outside of Wrexham may struggle to find willing victims easily..
Those in the Wrexham area are advised to keep the chip bags for putting over the heads of the specimens in order to "keep wood" while the procedure is being performed..
Richard was training hard on the sea-front throughout the summer season in Rhyl, ready for the Wrexham decathalon later in the year, where legends of the pork sword gather in an attempt to show their moves on the 10 haddock fish rack..
by Drex Johnson September 21, 2011
Get the fish rackmug. A large juicy and succulent vagina with mouth-wateringly sweet pink and fleshy lips..
Not so appealing to vegans and vegetarians..
More a gourmet dish for the committed practicing Vaginarian..
Must be eaten fresh, or it rapidly becomes a musky mackerel, which is not quite so fresh, or even worse, a rancid pilchard..
Not so appealing to vegans and vegetarians..
More a gourmet dish for the committed practicing Vaginarian..
Must be eaten fresh, or it rapidly becomes a musky mackerel, which is not quite so fresh, or even worse, a rancid pilchard..
Big lady was a strange name for a woman who was only slightly above average height and was not really more weighty than the average western factory farm fed female.. (220lbs)..
But it became clear on webcam that her diet of cakes and lard had somehow enabled her to showcase a gutted salmon to her fans the likes of which is rare seen online and that a gent could definitely lose his head in when searching for his wrist watch in the morning after the pleasures of the night..
But it became clear on webcam that her diet of cakes and lard had somehow enabled her to showcase a gutted salmon to her fans the likes of which is rare seen online and that a gent could definitely lose his head in when searching for his wrist watch in the morning after the pleasures of the night..
by Drex Johnson October 18, 2016
Get the gutted salmonmug. Face, Tits, Pussy.. The basic "big 3" pics required before a gentleman decides if it is worth having a midnight randyvous with any lady in question that he may have found while browsing the internet on his wankport..
Until this File Transfer Protocol has been completed, risk of disappointment is often too high to make it worth considering making the trip..
Until this File Transfer Protocol has been completed, risk of disappointment is often too high to make it worth considering making the trip..
Richard always insisted on getting the FTP shots from any lady he was considering meeting, but often he would blow his load immediately he saw them and then decide she was too much of a cheap slut anyway.. So perhaps it was counterproductive in a strangely unexpected way.. Wankers remorse..?
by Drex Johnson October 19, 2014
Get the FTPmug. The act of meeting for sex at a time best chosen for its deliberate inconvenience for any other activities, thus getting round and avoiding the usual boredom, expense and interrogative shit of a "date"..
My therapist told me my low levels of respect for women probably stemmed from my habit of only ever agreeing to meet them for a midnight randyvous, after spending several hours priming them for action via MSN and other forms of internet self-abuse
by Drex Johnson July 21, 2011
Get the Midnight Randyvousmug. Riding astride the chest of a large breasted milk maid prior to releasing a portion of tadpole soup twixt the humps and over the face..
Miss Jones's tits are made for jug surfing! What greater pleasure can a gentleman have than to get his solid masculinity in the trough between the soft pulpy wonders and thrust away till the cream beans come out to play!
by Drex Johnson March 8, 2010
Get the Jug Surfingmug.