Dr. Josephus's definitions

Undercover Sub

n. a long, submarine shaped turd that is crapped out before, during, or immediately after sex....beneath the bed sheet covers.

The undercover sub slinks, slithers, and slides across the sheets until it comes into contact with one's sexual partner...causing a multitude of reactions which may include, but are not limited to: excitement, anger, fear, frustration, confusion, bewilderment, angst, mild and/or severe depression.

Last night after I did it with Janie, I swear I heard her shart. No sooner had I smelled the crap, then an undercover sub appeared out of nowhere...spreading across my leg like a wet, stinky rash. It ruined the new bed sheets!

by Dr. Josephus May 27, 2011

Arrow Head

n. a term used to describe a wee-nis tip that is shaped like an arrow. Arrow Heads are triangular in shape, and can cause mild to moderate injury/harm if handled incorrectly.

Janie: "What happened to Julie's lip?"
Rose: "Her new boyfriend has an Arrow Head."
Janie: "Gee, sucks to be her!"

by Dr. Josephus May 27, 2011

wack arnold

n.: the token "crazy black man" found in most corporate offices or similar settings. Characterized by short, quick burst of mildly violent behavior that usually result in dismissal for the rest of the day/week by the bossman.

"Yo, did you here Tyrese almost got fired yesterday for slam dunking Carlos' head in the trash can?"

"Yeah, but he'll be back to work tomorrow...he's just another wack arnold"

by Dr. Josephus February 28, 2009

square butt

n.: the opposite of a "bubble butt," the square butt is most often found on nappy white chicks. When using the square butt for sexual satisfaction, it is advised that a pillow, or some other cushioning device be placed between the wee-nis and the square butt to prevent bruising the male reproductive organs.

"Man, I hooked up with this square butt chick last night for two hours!"

"Are you shitting me? You wouldn't be walking if you did..."

"Look...here are the bruises to prove it!"

by Dr. Josephus February 28, 2009

cuff-link

n. a golden sausage wee-nis. Characterized by bronzed, tan glow and sparkly, transparent edges. The cuff-link style wee-nis is found only in the most affluent adult locales.

"Not only does Harold have that sexy smile and a convertible to die for...he has an 8-inch cuff-link!"

"Oh Carol...I'm so proud of my daughter!"

by Dr. Josephus February 28, 2009

swing report

n.: a private diary kept by a swinging couple. The diary maintains partner names, dates, and locations as well as brief descriptions of explicit sexual encounters with anonymous partners. The entries may also include "likes" and "dislikes" of certain prospective partners, in order to gain a competitive edge on the group at future swing parties.

"Melanie and I read one of our swing reports from the 2005 fiscal year...and you would not believe how much we spent on anal-related costs and mergers!"

by Dr. Josephus February 28, 2009

crack report

n.: a newspaper or similar medium, rolled tight and fashionably stuffed in the rear between the pant waist and the undershorts of a middle aged man. Crack reports can be found anywhere, but are most common at race tracks, betting venues, ball games, and other sporting events. Most reports, but not all, contain various residue, leftovers and miscellaneous bacteria that is considered unsanitary by the local health department.

"Charlie! Don't pick up that crack report! You don't know what asshole has been reading that..."

by Dr. Josephus February 28, 2009