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Doctor N's definitions

Jimmy Grant

The collective name given to those people who immigrate to another settlement due to the almost rhyming nature of the words 'Immigrant' and 'Jimmy Grant'.

It may also be used as a descrete derogatory term when it is often shortened to 'Jimmy'.
Customs Officer: "Hold on a second Jimmy Grant, can I see your passport?"
by Doctor N November 14, 2009
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Grapes

The name given to prolapsed haemorrhoids, particularly when thrombosed due to the similar appearance.
Damn my grapes are playing up. Pass me that rubber ring, I need to sit down.
by Doctor N November 14, 2009
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Brewer's Yeast

The name given to the itchy fungal rash one gets around the groin following a long day in a hot moist environment such as a brewery.
Dawn: "My flange is really itchy!"
Margaret: "Better go see your doctor, it sounds like you have a case of brewer's yeast."

Sam: "This home-brew tastes very sour"
Matt: "It's a special recipe, I use my own brewer's yeast."
by Doctor N November 16, 2009
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Little Tommy Squeaker

A name given to those high pitched farts that often come as a result of trying to hold one in while in a public place.
John: "Did someone just stand on a creaky floorboard?"
David: "No, that guy over there with the red face just let off a Little Tommy Squeaker"
by Doctor N November 16, 2009
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Claudia Schiffer

Another way of describing the anus.
Tonight I fancy taking you up the Claudia Schiffer!
by Doctor N November 16, 2009
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Jedwood

The combination of the names "John" and "Edward" who are the twins that appeared on the X Factor 2009 in England.

They look really stupid.

They can't sing for shit.

They both dance like bell-ends.

But everybody loves them for the above mentioned reasons.
Louis Walsh: "Do you want to come back to my place boys?"

Jedwood: "No because were scared you may try to bum us."
by Doctor N November 16, 2009
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Jodie Marsh

Another name for a rubber doorstop due to the remarkably similar appearance to the budget glamour model's nose.
Kat: "Damn the door keeps slamming shut."
Bob: "Well put the Jodie Marsh under it then."
by Doctor N November 16, 2009
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