Little Tommy Squeaker

A name given to those high pitched farts that often come as a result of trying to hold one in while in a public place.

John: "Did someone just stand on a creaky floorboard?"
David: "No, that guy over there with the red face just let off a Little Tommy Squeaker"

by Doctor N November 16, 2009

Claudia Schiffer

Another way of describing the anus.

Tonight I fancy taking you up the Claudia Schiffer!

by Doctor N November 16, 2009

Jodie Marsh

Another name for a rubber doorstop due to the remarkably similar appearance to the budget glamour model's nose.

Kat: "Damn the door keeps slamming shut."
Bob: "Well put the Jodie Marsh under it then."

by Doctor N November 16, 2009

Grapes

The name given to prolapsed haemorrhoids, particularly when thrombosed due to the similar appearance.

Damn my grapes are playing up. Pass me that rubber ring, I need to sit down.

by Doctor N November 14, 2009

Jedwood

The combination of the names "John" and "Edward" who are the twins that appeared on the X Factor 2009 in England.

They look really stupid.

They can't sing for shit.

They both dance like bell-ends.

But everybody loves them for the above mentioned reasons.

Louis Walsh: "Do you want to come back to my place boys?"

Jedwood: "No because were scared you may try to bum us."

by Doctor N November 16, 2009

Brewer's Yeast

The name given to the itchy fungal rash one gets around the groin following a long day in a hot moist environment such as a brewery.

Dawn: "My flange is really itchy!"
Margaret: "Better go see your doctor, it sounds like you have a case of brewer's yeast."

Sam: "This home-brew tastes very sour"
Matt: "It's a special recipe, I use my own brewer's yeast."

by Doctor N November 16, 2009

Rusty McSkid

A general name that one can call someone that frequently leaves their underware looking like a busy road (i.e. covered in skid marks).

Learn to wipe your bum properly Rusty McSkid.

by Doctor N November 16, 2009