Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions
Fred Phelps plans to serve Santorum Coladas at the Westboro Baptist Church's next Holy Communion. Here's how to make a Santorum Colada:
3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*
Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.
*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*
Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.
*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
by Cuntoleezza Rice September 5, 2012
Get the Santorum Colada mug.1. To masturbate while thinking about the Rapture, Mark of the Beast, Great Whore of Babylon, etc.
2. To diddle one's ass while imagining getting Rapture Fucked by Harold Camping.
2. To diddle one's ass while imagining getting Rapture Fucked by Harold Camping.
1. As Rick Santorum stood in the shower thinking about the Rapture his hands moved slowly downward and he began to Rapturebate. He imagined finally being able to tap the Jesus Hole. Yes he knew the Lord was coming soon. Yes coming. coming soon, coming soon...
2. Renowned felcher Pat Robertson stuck four fingers up his saggy old prison wallet and dreamed of his favorite fantasy Sodomy Clown, Harold Camping.
2. Renowned felcher Pat Robertson stuck four fingers up his saggy old prison wallet and dreamed of his favorite fantasy Sodomy Clown, Harold Camping.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 13, 2011
Get the rapturebate mug.1. The hole in Jesus' side or hand when used for sexual pleasure. See crucifuck.
2. Texas Governor Rick Perry's nickname for his Prison Wallet.
2. Texas Governor Rick Perry's nickname for his Prison Wallet.
Rick Santorum was so horny he was obsessed with getting him some Jesus Hole (a crucifuck). Unfortunately, Jesus had been MIA for 2000 years and Santorum had to go off to the bathhouse for some pussy on a stick. Having left his Mormon Panty Liners at home he left with a Mormon Trail of santorum in his Mormon Underwear.
by Cuntoleezza Rice August 25, 2011
Get the Jesus Hole mug.Q. Whio was that pimp at your party?
A. That was no pimp, that was my fornicaterer, you tardbaby. He was serving whors d'oeuvres and quiche. In addition he could also proved an excellent crucifuck or colostofuck or set you up with a skilled Abominatrix.
Everyone in his stable is carefully screened. There’s not a prostitoad in the bunch and you won’t have to hide your valuables in your prison wallet or treat them as cuntraband. You’ll remain ClaMedia-free.
Now twaddle on home and play with your cunteloupe
A. That was no pimp, that was my fornicaterer, you tardbaby. He was serving whors d'oeuvres and quiche. In addition he could also proved an excellent crucifuck or colostofuck or set you up with a skilled Abominatrix.
Everyone in his stable is carefully screened. There’s not a prostitoad in the bunch and you won’t have to hide your valuables in your prison wallet or treat them as cuntraband. You’ll remain ClaMedia-free.
Now twaddle on home and play with your cunteloupe
by Cuntoleezza Rice April 18, 2010
Get the fornicaterer mug.The white trash high school dropout father of Sarah Palin's out-of-wedlock grandchild. Mr. Johnston is currently estranged from Palin's daughter Bristol Palin and is negotiating a photo shoot to display his weiner on Playgirl.com.
I asked Bristol Palin what she every saw in Levi Johnston. She replied "well, mainly his Moose Meat. He has a really big one, you know. Just wait until you see it on Playgirl.com."
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 7, 2009
Get the Levi Johnston mug.Sara Palin called to Levi Johnston "Where's my little tardbaby. Levi was busy filling her daughter Bristol Palin with his Moose Meat and didn't answer.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 7, 2009
Get the tardbaby mug.Ann Coulter loved it when her time of the month came around and she could listen to tunes on her iPad.
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 23, 2009
Get the iPad mug.