A HieroCunck is an occult grifter who appoints themselves as the divine gatekeeper of esoteric wisdom—not by mastery, but by monetization, ideological policing, and strategic ghosting.
They don’t just sell courses—they sell the illusion of gatekeeping the sacred. They speak in riddles, charge in installments, and rule their PayPal temple like an archmage of a digital theocracy. They market themselves as the enlightened few, yet their entire empire is built on Dropbox links, unanswered emails, and 3,000-word Facebook screeds, bookshelf selfies, and tarot collection flexing.
A Master HieroCunck:
✔ Turns divine knowledge into an infinite-tier business model.
✔ Claims ancient deities personally endorse their marketing strategy.
✔ Preaches liberation while enforcing strict ideological obedience.
✔ Polices the boundaries of “real” magic while blocking all criticism.
✔ Never engages in debate—only speaks in pronouncements.
✔ Ghosts students the moment they pay.
✔ Frames financial exploitation as “divine reciprocity” but offers no refunds.
✔ Has a devoted cult of sycophants who enforce their narrative for free.
They don’t just sell courses—they sell the illusion of gatekeeping the sacred. They speak in riddles, charge in installments, and rule their PayPal temple like an archmage of a digital theocracy. They market themselves as the enlightened few, yet their entire empire is built on Dropbox links, unanswered emails, and 3,000-word Facebook screeds, bookshelf selfies, and tarot collection flexing.
A Master HieroCunck:
✔ Turns divine knowledge into an infinite-tier business model.
✔ Claims ancient deities personally endorse their marketing strategy.
✔ Preaches liberation while enforcing strict ideological obedience.
✔ Polices the boundaries of “real” magic while blocking all criticism.
✔ Never engages in debate—only speaks in pronouncements.
✔ Ghosts students the moment they pay.
✔ Frames financial exploitation as “divine reciprocity” but offers no refunds.
✔ Has a devoted cult of sycophants who enforce their narrative for free.
"The HieroCunck claims to serve Hekate, but all she really does is collect tithes for her PayPal priesthood."
"The only initiation the HieroCunck offers is a Paywall Mysteries subscription—one that never ends."
"I questioned the sacred teachings of the HieroCunck and was told I was spiritually unworthy. Then I got an email upsell for the next course."
"The HieroCunck’s power is absolute—his followers will chant 'So true, master' even when he contradicts himself in back-to-back Facebook posts."
"The only initiation the HieroCunck offers is a Paywall Mysteries subscription—one that never ends."
"I questioned the sacred teachings of the HieroCunck and was told I was spiritually unworthy. Then I got an email upsell for the next course."
"The HieroCunck’s power is absolute—his followers will chant 'So true, master' even when he contradicts himself in back-to-back Facebook posts."
by Cunck Watch March 12, 2025
To be cuncked is to fall victim to a self-important occult grifter, to be scammed, ghosted, or otherwise spiritually shortchanged by someone who talks a big game but delivers nothing. It’s the realization that the ‘mystic authority’ you admired was just another PayPal wizard, cashing in on esoteric clout while ignoring their students, dodging accountability, and spiraling into political cope-posting.
A person is cuncked when:
They pay a premium for a course, mentorship, or initiation… only to be left on read.
They get hyped up on promises of “secret teachings”… but all they receive is a PDF that’s mostly rebranded Wikipedia.
They try to ask questions about the material, but the “teacher” is too busy debating neoliberal talking points on Facebook.
They realize that this isn’t an esoteric master at all—it’s just a middle-aged doomer hoarding tarot decks and whining about democracy.
They put their faith in the wrong person and end up poorer, disillusioned, and PayPal-pilled.
Once you’ve been cuncked, there’s no going back. You either wake up and walk away, or you cope, double down, and defend the grift. Many don’t survive the second cuncking.
A person is cuncked when:
They pay a premium for a course, mentorship, or initiation… only to be left on read.
They get hyped up on promises of “secret teachings”… but all they receive is a PDF that’s mostly rebranded Wikipedia.
They try to ask questions about the material, but the “teacher” is too busy debating neoliberal talking points on Facebook.
They realize that this isn’t an esoteric master at all—it’s just a middle-aged doomer hoarding tarot decks and whining about democracy.
They put their faith in the wrong person and end up poorer, disillusioned, and PayPal-pilled.
Once you’ve been cuncked, there’s no going back. You either wake up and walk away, or you cope, double down, and defend the grift. Many don’t survive the second cuncking.
"I thought I was signing up for an advanced course, but it turned out to be a pay-to-play scam with zero engagement. I got cuncked."
"Bro, he charged me $900 for an ‘esoteric training’ that was literally just a livestream of him monologuing. That’s a hard cuncking."
"I realized I’d been cuncked when my so-called mentor started posting tarot readings about election results instead of answering my questions."
"You can tell someone’s been cuncked when they start making excuses for their guru’s grift instead of admitting they got scammed."
"Bro, he charged me $900 for an ‘esoteric training’ that was literally just a livestream of him monologuing. That’s a hard cuncking."
"I realized I’d been cuncked when my so-called mentor started posting tarot readings about election results instead of answering my questions."
"You can tell someone’s been cuncked when they start making excuses for their guru’s grift instead of admitting they got scammed."
by Cunck Watch March 11, 2025