1 definition by Crashie-J
A condition brought about by the excess of hyphen usage between descriptors elevating the intensity of the object or event. Main cause of which being the need to increase the perceived value of an object towards a customer without delineated explanation to the targeted base.
Symptoms may include the conjoining of descriptors that make sense in context but lack any substance when used in a sentence structure, increased usage of capitalization in grammar, including, but not limited to: nouns, adjectives, verbs and adverbs along with run-on sentences and paragraphs that may cause shortness of breath when verbally communicated. Other symptoms may include: grammatical repetition, subjective baselines, rhythmic tempo, unintentional rhyming, and in some extreme cases, buyer's remorse .
Vectors of Hyper-phentilation are most notably Marketing Departments with a rudimentary understanding of advertising and access to graphical design software without proper training. Most affected are commercially sold items aimed to be sold towards demographics inclined to take up automotive or outdoor careers or hobbies.
While untreatable at this current time, observation of Hyper-phentilation can potentially prevent the more serious manifestations of Late Onset Buyer's Remorse.
Symptoms may include the conjoining of descriptors that make sense in context but lack any substance when used in a sentence structure, increased usage of capitalization in grammar, including, but not limited to: nouns, adjectives, verbs and adverbs along with run-on sentences and paragraphs that may cause shortness of breath when verbally communicated. Other symptoms may include: grammatical repetition, subjective baselines, rhythmic tempo, unintentional rhyming, and in some extreme cases, buyer's remorse .
Vectors of Hyper-phentilation are most notably Marketing Departments with a rudimentary understanding of advertising and access to graphical design software without proper training. Most affected are commercially sold items aimed to be sold towards demographics inclined to take up automotive or outdoor careers or hobbies.
While untreatable at this current time, observation of Hyper-phentilation can potentially prevent the more serious manifestations of Late Onset Buyer's Remorse.
An increase of Hyper-phentilation is being observed due to commercial buzzword language including terms such as "Military-Grade High-Performance Ultra-Light All-Terrain Hand-Wear . Multi-Size All-Weather Comfort-Fit. 90-Day Money-Back-Guarantee." to describe objects such a pair of automotive work gloves or magnetic nylon therapeutic bracelets.
by Crashie-J February 14, 2021