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Definitions by ColombianSkyhawk

swampjack 

n. sweaty, disgusting masturbation. usually occurring immediately after exercising, working, or being outside in the heat. Becoming aroused due to being outside around bikini-clad women and having to relieve oneself immediately in the poolhouse bathroom.
After going for a three mile jog in mid-June, Stanley came back inside and did a swampjack.

Bill: Stan, what the hell are you doing on my laptop?
Stanley: A swampjack.