3 definitions by ChevayChase
A series of actions resulting in a horrendous wakeup. First, one person coats their hand in a mixture of breadcrumbs, egg yolks, and batter. When a person is sleeping a second person throws very got heavy cream on the person's face, and immediately after comes the slap of a hand with the described mixture resulting in a large imprint on the person's face, hence the "Kentucky Slap." It is often understandably confused with the Italian Breakfast Wakeup, the Asian Breakfast Wakeup, and many others. The name "Kentucky Slap" comes from the esoteric language and culture of a motely crew in Kentucky who frequently engaged and revered the practice of "Kentucky Slapping." Despite many efforts to thwart the "Kentucky Slappers," they have remained resilient and triumpant.
I ultimately decided Jeff would have to be Kentucky Slapped for his actions. His insolence would lead to a substitution of full size croutons for a harsher feeling of the "Kentucky Slap." Jeff: That Kentucky Slap last night stung terribly. Everyone saw my face and knew I had been Kentucky Slapped, it was so humiliating that that I started to cry.
by ChevayChase April 11, 2015
It is often understandably confused with the "Kentucky Slap" and the "Italian Breakfast Wakeup." One pours soy sauce over a sleeping individual's head. Another slaps globs of Wasabi in the face of the sleeping person. Another person smacks live squids against the head of the sleeping person until the squids break releasing their ink. Another group, typically large chats in loud incoherent Asian in a dialect you are unsure of, but baffles you nevertheless. Another Asian man bangs a gong repeatedly while and old Asian man sings songs of his homeland.
That Asian Breakfast Wakeup left Mt eyes burning, my face sticky, and I was unable to see from all the ink. The sound alone was overwhelming and infuriating.
by ChevayChase April 12, 2015
A method of waking someone up in an undesirable fashion. One person pours olive oil and balsamic vinegar on a sleeping person's face while another person grates the smelliest cheese possible over the sleeping person's head. Another person shakes a massive container of grated parmesean cheese over the sleeping person's head. Several enraged Italians quarrel in loud Italian right next to you, and an old Italian man screams in your ears, "Mama Mia" repeatedly. Finally, a pizza maker smacks you in the face continually with hot pizzas from his wood fire oven. It is important to note all of these actions are signs of respect, and only those with the requisite prestige and reputation can aspire to receive this lofty wakeup. This practice is still active in parts of Rome, Tuscany, and Cinque Terre.
I don't want Johnny to sleep over. He always gives someone one of those Italian Breakfast Wakeups, and they get terribly messy. He claims it's part of his heritage, and it's a great honor to bestow upon someone, but I think it's messy and awful.
by ChevayChase April 12, 2015