Chernorizets Hrabr's definitions

jamster

Retarded cellphone ringtone provider with irritating commercials and VERY unfunny songs and sounds. People who have ordered ringtones from Jamster can be found on the short bus or working in Wal*mart.

"ANSAR DEE FONE YAWANNA ANSAR DEE FONE!"

"Where muh baby daddy at? WHERE HE BE?"

by Chernorizets Hrabr January 19, 2005

Cannes

1. Where Michael Moore goes to receive felattio for his movies when nobody in the United States is buying his garbage.

2. Home of a famous pornographic film festival.

1. (Michael Moore steps off his private jet and arrives in Cannes)

MM: Hello, Frenchmen! Praise and reward me for my newest piece of half-assed propaganda!

(Entire city of Cannes kneels down and opens wide)
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2. Ali G went to Cannes and some chick pressed his face into her own titties!

by Chernorizets Hrabr July 6, 2007

Tool fan

Avid listeners of the alternative metal band known as Tool. Tool fans believe that, by listening to music with no concept of time signatures and pseudo-cryptic lyrics sang by a man known as Maynard Ivory James Keenan Wayans, it puts them on a higher intellectual and musical plateau than fans of non-"prog" bands. You can pick a Tool fan out of a crowd easily, by looking for a college student who speaks of issues which he has little to no understanding of, rants about conspiracy theories, is a half-hearted activist and constantly reeks of bong water. A Tool fan, as a rule, will never look presentable, wearing yesterday's hoodie and a baseball cap over his unwashed and shaggy hair.

You know Jeff? That annoying kid who shows up 30 minutes late to class every day with serious redeye and voices his stance on everything from abortion to extraterrestrialism without being asked? I hear he's a big Tool fan. Figures.

by Chernorizets Hrabr August 28, 2006