Definitions by Capt Dave O
Tomicide
Tom·i·cide /ˈtäm-ə-sīd/ noun
The deliberate act of fishing Toms Canyon despite knowing, through overwhelming prior evidence, that the canyon does not want you there.
A form of offshore self-destruction in which an otherwise rational captain voluntarily enters Toms Canyon, fully aware that one or more of the following will occur: fish will be everywhere but refuse to bite your boat; neighboring boats will hook up continuously; the bite will inexplicably shut off the moment you arrive; hooked fish will pull, chafe, straighten hooks, or otherwise escape; something mechanical or electrical will malfunction; weather will deteriorate unexpectedly; and the crew will become exhausted, irritable, seasick, or spiritually defeated.
Key characteristic: Tomicide requires prior knowledge. Your first disastrous trip to Toms is merely bad luck. Returning repeatedly while believing “this time will be different” constitutes Tomicide.
The deliberate act of fishing Toms Canyon despite knowing, through overwhelming prior evidence, that the canyon does not want you there.
A form of offshore self-destruction in which an otherwise rational captain voluntarily enters Toms Canyon, fully aware that one or more of the following will occur: fish will be everywhere but refuse to bite your boat; neighboring boats will hook up continuously; the bite will inexplicably shut off the moment you arrive; hooked fish will pull, chafe, straighten hooks, or otherwise escape; something mechanical or electrical will malfunction; weather will deteriorate unexpectedly; and the crew will become exhausted, irritable, seasick, or spiritually defeated.
Key characteristic: Tomicide requires prior knowledge. Your first disastrous trip to Toms is merely bad luck. Returning repeatedly while believing “this time will be different” constitutes Tomicide.
“The Hudson was producing, the Wilmington had fish, and we had three other perfectly good options. Instead, Captain Dave pointed the boat toward Toms Canyon at midnight. By sunrise we’d lost two fish, the Starlink went offline, Greg lost his mond and put a freshwater Beetle Spin in the spread, and every boat around us was hooked up. Classic Tomicide.”
Tomicide by Capt Dave O August 31, 2026
Carvered
When your original plan is hijacked by a pair of enablers, who turns the short time together into a well-stocked liver testing experiment.
They don't just drop in or join you, they strategically engineer a night that you won't remember. They give you the "liquid courage" you need to keep going and make bad decisions.
They don't just drop in or join you, they strategically engineer a night that you won't remember. They give you the "liquid courage" you need to keep going and make bad decisions.
We were planning on a nice little brunch, but we got Carvered and woke up the next morning face down on the floor next to an empty box of frozen White Castle burgers and a thousand dollar bar receipt from the St. Regis.
I have never spent so much to hear music as I did on touch-tunes the night we got Carvered.
I have never spent so much to hear music as I did on touch-tunes the night we got Carvered.
Carvered by Capt Dave O September 23, 2025