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Briton Phillip's definitions

String Theory of Life

The belief that every decision, emotion, or relationship is tangled in a web of invisible threads—and pulling one always yanks five others.
I tried to fix my schedule and ended up in a full-on string theory of life moment—now I’m rethinking my career and my coffee order.
by Briton Phillip October 18, 2025
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Assignment Illusionist

Someone who thinks they’re smarter than the instructor and everyone else, but submits gibberish based entirely on examples from the original assignment. This person believes formatting and confidence will mask the lack of real content.
The essay looked polished but was just recycled instructions—Assignment Illusionist exposed.
by Briton Phillip September 22, 2025
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Shadow Banding

A reactive emotional pattern that develops in response to the rubber band effect. When one partner repeatedly snaps back into the relationship, the other—wary of the cycle—begins forming secret emotional or romantic connections. Shadow banding is the quiet stretch: a hidden coping mechanism born from mistrust, grief, or emotional exhaustion. It’s not about cheating—it’s about survival when the relationship feels unstable or unsafe.
After she came back and ran off the girls I was dating, I started shadow banding—keeping quiet connections just in case she left again.
by Briton Phillip September 3, 2025
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Asynchronous Hearts

Asynchronous hearts describes a relationship dynamic where emotional availability between partners is misaligned — one person is open, ready, and seeking connection while the other is closed off, distracted, or emotionally distant. It’s not about lack of love, but about timing that never quite matches.
Her former husband texts his ex-wife a heartfelt message, hoping to reconnect. He’s in a place of healing and openness. She reads it, feels the weight of it, but isn’t ready to respond. A week later, she sends a warm reply — but by then, he has pulled back, unsure if the door is still open. They keep missing each other emotionally, like ships passing in fog. A classic case of asynchronous hearts.
by Briton Phillip September 1, 2025
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Gunuch

A Gunuch is like a Eunuch that uses guns to replace his balls.
He is such. Gunuch. Whenever anyone calls him a wimp he buys another gun to show how tough he is.
by Briton Phillip July 12, 2017
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Adventure-Equipped

Describes a person who possesses the three essential resources for meaningful travel and exploration: health, wealth, and time. Being adventure-equipped means not just dreaming about experiences — but having the actual capacity to pursue them.
She says she wants to hike Patagonia someday, but she’s not adventure-equipped — no PTO, bad knees, and barely making rent.
by Briton Phillip September 6, 2025
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Grief Gating

The act of selectively mourning the death of someone based on their political or ideological alignment, while ignoring or rationalizing the deaths of those outside one’s tribe. A form of emotional compartmentalization that reveals unconscious bias in expressions of empathy.
When the invited speaker was killed, the campus held vigils and posted tributes. But when a student protester died last year, barely anyone mentioned it. That’s grief gating—mourning filtered through ideological lenses.
by Briton Phillip September 11, 2025
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