Bill Beef's definitions

Wank n' spank

is just another fancy schmancy word for masturbation. That's all. Pretty simple.

For linguists who are working on a masters degree or higher that want to dive deeper into this word, it can also be spelled “wank & spank”, “wankenspank” or “wank and spank”

When I'm horny it is tempting to go wank n' spank.

by Bill Beef July 3, 2025

Shit clown

a dumb ass clown that really gets under your skin or tries your patience.

Just what I need! Another shit clown!

by Bill Beef July 8, 2025

Eye judo

Eye judo (aka Eye Jiu-jitsu) is a disciplined practice one needs to take in public places especially the workplace in order to avoid awkward or bad consequences. For instance if you see an attractive girl in the workplace and you look too much at her you may get fired for sexual harassment due to giving her “untoward looks”. Also Americans expect you to look them in the eye yet you got to be careful not to look too deeply – while talking to another guy you have to be able to look him in the eye but not so deeply or he will think you are attracted to him or want to have sex with him. Eye judo is a very subtle art and takes practice.

At work I find myself practicing eye judo all day.

by Bill Beef August 16, 2025

Dirt slob

A dirt slob is a shit slob who doesn't wipe his ass and wears shit stained underwear.

It sucks to live near a dirt slob.

by Bill Beef July 4, 2025

Dumbrella

A dumbrella is an crappy umbrella that does a shit job of keeping you dry. It easily gets blown in the wrong direction by wind.

My umbrella was working fine for a brief minute until a little gust of wind turned it into a dumbrella.

by Bill Beef February 16, 2025

Blasted clown

a blasted clown is a filthy dirty dumb ass fucking shit clown that really tries your patience at the very precise moment when you are having the worst day of your entire fucking life and things couldn't possibly get any worse until this dumb ass shit clown motherfucker came along. They just seem to come out of the woodworks at you when you are having a particularly miserable day and they just wanna make your life worse.

Whenever I have road rage it is usually because some dumb blasted clown got in front of me and I start shouting “Move you clown! Move you FUCKING clown!! Move you goddamn blasted clown!!! Move!, move!!, move!!!, move!!!!, move!!!!!, move!!!!!!, MOOOOOVVVVVVVVE!!!!!

by Bill Beef July 8, 2025

Greasy Lizard

A greasy lizard is an erect penis that has been smothered in lubrication before any kind of sexual activity (whether it is masturbation or sex with another person).

Before I stick my pork in my boyfriend's asshole I like to lube up a nice greasy lizard.

by Bill Beef February 16, 2025