3 definitions by Alex Curtis

Baptist

something thats not catholic; synonomous with high divorce rates, jerry falwell (with his mother in the outhouse) and mainly hypocritical, holier than thou bullshit. see every religion tries to prove its better...in the end catholocism wins by a billion and a half so you baptists can go to hell, which is where your goin when jesus bitch slaps you down to satan...you know what, ill do it, your not worty of jesus' hand...i offically call dibs on the baptist bitch-slaper to hell guy

Jesus: i see your here for the profesional Bitch Slaping Baptist job?
Me: Yes.
Jesus: Why Should i Hire You?
Me: Because you dont have to get your hands dirty in southern redneck inbreds whose lives center around being punished to hell, so i figured id give them what they want
Jesus: I Like your Style, Lets See How Well You do, how does tuesday sound?
Me: No Problem
Jesus: Ok From Now on You are now my Pimphand Bitchslapper...if they ask, tell 'em J hired you and give them a ton of hope that they'll get into heaven, then bitchslap them into satans asshole...
me: Sounds Good
Jesus: Peace, im going to go with peter to bless some kids or some shit like that
me: see u around...

2. " did not have sex with my mother in an outhouse...it was my father"-Jerry Falwell

by Alex Curtis June 6, 2006

High School

apparnetly on this sight, people like to bitch about how high school sucks...didnt any one tell u this or did u figure it out after your 4 years? I realized it about 2-3 days into my freshmen year and i find that the only classes that really prepare anyone for life are the buisness classes and the tech classes...see in NY, we have one of the greatest testing systems in the country, but we have a 20-30% passing rate on math becuz we take a year and a half of math and try and cram it into 3 hours, which is complete bullshit...anyway, high school teachers arent that bad...where im from, we have maybe 5-10% of teachers that are complete cynical assholes who have either been castrated or been tragic burn victims...i read about someone saying history was useless...besides tech and business, without history, you would repeat the mistakes of the past...so here's a suggestion to the cynical realists/ex high school students/bitching liberals/suburban teenager that thinks high school is hard...shut the fuck up and deal with it, jesus christ do you need some vagasil for your pussy? are you that retentive and stupid that the only thing you can do is bitch? high school is free, college is a bitch when it comes to costs...thats why im moving to europe...GO EUROPE!!!

1. The Seventh Layer of Hell= High school
2. High School is Jesus Punishment for kids that whack off
3. high school is for the Dumbass that may have a chance to not end up at mcdonalds for the rest of his/her pathetic life...

by Alex Curtis June 4, 2006

Myspace Whore

basically an eleven year old girl that says shes 17, shows pictures of her ass to feel better about the fact that she doesnt do half the shit she says and really cant back herself up becuz she relies on other people to "kick" someone elses ass (quotes becuz 98% of all myspace whore threats are unreal). also the reason why the internet is evil, becuz there is a girl that has a million freinds and tries to beat out tila tequila, but never will. Tom Anderson, the founder of Myspace, created a great product, but basically should delete all myspace whores.

1. true story: there is an 11 year old girl that had a picture of a g string with a ribbon tied around it...no bs...
2. Tila Tequila is the ultimate myspace whore...hands down...

by Alex Curtis June 3, 2006