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Alana Post's definitions

Low Lifes

Term used to describe the mini-bottles of Miller High Life.
Nothing quenches ones thirst as ineffectively as a shot of whiskey and a Low Life.
by Alana Post September 11, 2005
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shanus

Function: Noun
Etymology: Portmanteau of shame and anus.

1. a: Judging the anus to be obscene b: the susceptibility to such feelings.

It came about as a result of the anus being photoshopped out of many images of female nudes across the internet, and the lasting psychological damage it caused on the women thus depicted.
The shanus Suicide Girls models must feel right now must be palpable; how awful to be buttholed by both their own website and the FBI.
by Alana Post September 30, 2005
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defecult

Function: adjective

Etymology: combination of difficult and fecal. Attribution: Ben.

1. describes the difficulty associated with taking an extremely constipated shit, or anything of equivalent difficulty. See also: tenesmus; defecult's pendulum.
(BOB EXITS THE BATHROOM)
Susan: So how'd it go in there?
Bob: Defecult.
by Alana Post October 14, 2005
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rooting for truffles

Function: verb

Etymology: term originally associated with truffle-hunting sows, who use their snouts to nuzzle the precious fungus from the earth. Pigs communicate their sexual availability to other pigs via the steroid that truffles contain.

1. the sexual act normally associated with cunnilingus involving the rubbing of one's nose against one's partner's clitoris 2. to perform such an act
Sally: Hey dude what's up with your nose? Are you getting a cold or something?
Mark: Nah I was up all night rooting for truffles.
Sally: Whoa, your girlfriend is one lucky gal!
by Alana Post October 14, 2005
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take a real one

function: verb

1. To 'take a real one' is to have a bowel movement that is particularly forceful or emotionally necessary. The feelings that accompany 'taking a real one' are typically frustration, surprise, and/or anger. To 'take a real one' is to figuratively unload a pile of feces onto a situation which bears no other possible reaction. 'Taking a real one' also implies that you can't even mentally just imagine crapping on something, you are are so annoyed that it is literally forcing a big load of pants-pudding from your agitated lower intestine.
1. I can't deal with this any more. I'm going to go take a real one.

2. Oh for the love of Pete! I just lost my entire thesis. Thanks a lot Microsoft Word! This makes me want to take a real one.

3. For the entire movie, all I could think about was taking a real one.

4. I'd prefer to take a real one rather than stay at this bar for another second.
by Alana Post October 5, 2005
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spade cooley

function: verb

etymology: eponym coined for Donnell Clyde 'Spade' Cooley, the self-proclaimed King of Western Swing, who is remembered for stomping his (second) wife Ella Mae Evans to death in front of his daughter Melody.

1. to stomp someone to death 2. to stomp on something violently

Usage note: this is also known as the Oklahoma Stomp after his hit single of the same name.
If you don't shut up, I am seriously going to Spade Cooley you.

Tina: Rex, are you sure that you put out that cigarette?
Rex: Are you kidding? I Spade Cooley'd the shit out of that thing.
by Alana Post October 13, 2005
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