Alana Post's definitions
function: verb
1. To 'take a real one' is to have a bowel movement that is particularly forceful or emotionally necessary. The feelings that accompany 'taking a real one' are typically frustration, surprise, and/or anger. To 'take a real one' is to figuratively unload a pile of feces onto a situation which bears no other possible reaction. 'Taking a real one' also implies that you can't even mentally just imagine crapping on something, you are are so annoyed that it is literally forcing a big load of pants-pudding from your agitated lower intestine.
1. To 'take a real one' is to have a bowel movement that is particularly forceful or emotionally necessary. The feelings that accompany 'taking a real one' are typically frustration, surprise, and/or anger. To 'take a real one' is to figuratively unload a pile of feces onto a situation which bears no other possible reaction. 'Taking a real one' also implies that you can't even mentally just imagine crapping on something, you are are so annoyed that it is literally forcing a big load of pants-pudding from your agitated lower intestine.
1. I can't deal with this any more. I'm going to go take a real one.
2. Oh for the love of Pete! I just lost my entire thesis. Thanks a lot Microsoft Word! This makes me want to take a real one.
3. For the entire movie, all I could think about was taking a real one.
4. I'd prefer to take a real one rather than stay at this bar for another second.
2. Oh for the love of Pete! I just lost my entire thesis. Thanks a lot Microsoft Word! This makes me want to take a real one.
3. For the entire movie, all I could think about was taking a real one.
4. I'd prefer to take a real one rather than stay at this bar for another second.
by Alana Post October 5, 2005
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etymology: eponym coined for Donnell Clyde 'Spade' Cooley, the self-proclaimed King of Western Swing, who is remembered for stomping his (second) wife Ella Mae Evans to death in front of his daughter Melody.
1. to stomp someone to death 2. to stomp on something violently
Usage note: this is also known as the Oklahoma Stomp after his hit single of the same name.
etymology: eponym coined for Donnell Clyde 'Spade' Cooley, the self-proclaimed King of Western Swing, who is remembered for stomping his (second) wife Ella Mae Evans to death in front of his daughter Melody.
1. to stomp someone to death 2. to stomp on something violently
Usage note: this is also known as the Oklahoma Stomp after his hit single of the same name.
If you don't shut up, I am seriously going to Spade Cooley you.
Tina: Rex, are you sure that you put out that cigarette?
Rex: Are you kidding? I Spade Cooley'd the shit out of that thing.
Tina: Rex, are you sure that you put out that cigarette?
Rex: Are you kidding? I Spade Cooley'd the shit out of that thing.
by Alana Post October 13, 2005
Get the spade cooley mug.by Alana Post September 11, 2005
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1. Describes the sound made by a trombone to illustrate a depressing statement, action, or moment. "Wah waah". Pioneered on the SNL skit Debbie Downer.
1. Describes the sound made by a trombone to illustrate a depressing statement, action, or moment. "Wah waah". Pioneered on the SNL skit Debbie Downer.
Tad: Bjorn, did you show Nell those pictures of your new kitten?
Bjorn: I don't think so. Nell, would you like to see the pictures I have of Sir Fluffles?
Nell: Oh, Bjorn, I can't bear to look at pictures of cats -- they only make me think of watching my own Mr. Snowflake waste away due to the effects of Feline Leukemia.
Tad: Wow... sad trombone!
Bjorn: I don't think so. Nell, would you like to see the pictures I have of Sir Fluffles?
Nell: Oh, Bjorn, I can't bear to look at pictures of cats -- they only make me think of watching my own Mr. Snowflake waste away due to the effects of Feline Leukemia.
Tad: Wow... sad trombone!
by Alana Post September 30, 2005
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etymology: Eponym after Caroline Contillo who has achieved questionable local fame for coining words and phrases that surprisingly get incorporated into common New York parlance
1. a term coined by or popularized by Caroline Contillo
etymology: Eponym after Caroline Contillo who has achieved questionable local fame for coining words and phrases that surprisingly get incorporated into common New York parlance
1. a term coined by or popularized by Caroline Contillo
some carolineisms currently listed on urbandictionary.com are: sad trombone, Debbie Downer, and take a real one. also of note: to be "h".
by Alana Post April 24, 2006
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Etymology: term originally associated with truffle-hunting sows, who use their snouts to nuzzle the precious fungus from the earth. Pigs communicate their sexual availability to other pigs via the steroid that truffles contain.
1. the sexual act normally associated with cunnilingus involving the rubbing of one's nose against one's partner's clitoris 2. to perform such an act
Etymology: term originally associated with truffle-hunting sows, who use their snouts to nuzzle the precious fungus from the earth. Pigs communicate their sexual availability to other pigs via the steroid that truffles contain.
1. the sexual act normally associated with cunnilingus involving the rubbing of one's nose against one's partner's clitoris 2. to perform such an act
Sally: Hey dude what's up with your nose? Are you getting a cold or something?
Mark: Nah I was up all night rooting for truffles.
Sally: Whoa, your girlfriend is one lucky gal!
Mark: Nah I was up all night rooting for truffles.
Sally: Whoa, your girlfriend is one lucky gal!
by Alana Post October 14, 2005
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Etymology: Play on the famously abstruse novel Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco and its title's source, Jean Bernard Leon Foucault's pendulum, a simple pendulum suspended from a long wire and set into motion along a meridian. The plane of motion appears to turn clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and counterclockwise in the Southern Hemisphere, demonstrating the axial rotation of the earth.
1. the moment of not knowing if poops are dangling or not after a sphincter-numbing bowl movement 2. confusion when the whirl of toilet flush snatches a still-dangling poop from one's anal. See also: defecult.
Etymology: Play on the famously abstruse novel Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco and its title's source, Jean Bernard Leon Foucault's pendulum, a simple pendulum suspended from a long wire and set into motion along a meridian. The plane of motion appears to turn clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and counterclockwise in the Southern Hemisphere, demonstrating the axial rotation of the earth.
1. the moment of not knowing if poops are dangling or not after a sphincter-numbing bowl movement 2. confusion when the whirl of toilet flush snatches a still-dangling poop from one's anal. See also: defecult.
(BOB EXITS THE BATHROOM)
Sally: How'd it go in there? Defecult?
Bob: God, no. It was even worse this time... more like Defecult's Pendulum.
Sally: How'd it go in there? Defecult?
Bob: God, no. It was even worse this time... more like Defecult's Pendulum.
by Alana Post July 26, 2008
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