Abdallah Price's definitions

guava-cannon

Slang for pussy- especially one that ejaculates, queefs, or pops out shitty children excessively.

"Looking down the barrel of that chick's guava-cannon is like staring at the distended mouth of a palsy patient."

"Swear t'Jesus- I was lyin' on the bed after we fucked, and she climbed over me to use the bathroom. All'a sudden her guava-cannon fires off, and now I gots the chunkies in mah chest hair."

by Abdallah Price November 4, 2011

shizzmungler

A hapless, clumsy shithead; someone scatalogically uncautious and careless who ends up with exactly what karma had laying in wait for him; a human being with a paper rectum who could potentially sneeze and spray a jet of Mexican molé sauce against the back wall of his undershorts.

1. "Dude, I've heard of 'don't trust that fart,' but this was more like, 'don't trust that sneeze.' Fucking shizzmungler left his underpants looking like Kurt Cobain on a Sunday morning."

2. "Nothing squishes my areolas with delight more than some shizzmungler doing the cha-cha and walking into an open manhole."

by Abdallah Price October 16, 2012

Swiss dunk

The act of sitting balls naked on the toilet while taking a shit and swigging some fine beer. Designated "Swiss" for the exquisite cocoa products comin' out yer bungbungbung.

GIRL: "Where's Francis? We gotta get to the concert?"

GUY: "Bastard's still at home havin' himself a Swiss dunk."

GIRL: "Ewwwwww... what kinda beer does he drink?"

GUY: "A lot of German beers."

GIRL: "That would figure. Now every time I see a German beer, I'm going to think of sloppy, drunk asshole."

by Abdallah Price October 19, 2012

Gobblecaust

Alternate name for Thanksgiving, owing to the sheer amount of destruction to the turkey population just in one day.

"Hey, Chet. You gotta figure there are about 115 million households in the U.S., right? And let's say the majority of those have a turkey on the table. Think about how many turkeys are butchered just for ONE DAY, dude!"

"I know, Hank. Total gobblecaust."

"Happy Gobblecaust! Chew on your turkey, kidfert!"

by Abdallah Price November 28, 2012

Scheissebahn

Pronounced (SHY-za-BON), a bastardized pseudo-German phrase meaning more or less "shit highway." A term which was coined to describe the Belt Parkway in Brooklyn, New York.

"Eastbound on the Scheissebahn is backed up. AS USUAL."

"Why are we taking the Scheissebahn when we could just take the streets?"

"Watch out for assholes in Infinity G37x's on the Scheissebahn."

by Abdallah Price August 12, 2012