Definitions by A. Hick
ron jeremy
A pot-bellied, butt-ugly Jewish guy with a huge penis (around 9 “real” – not AOL inches) who was a porn superstar during the 1970s and ‘80s urban “grindhouse” heyday. He was ugly enough every man in American likely to venture into a seedy, semen-stained pre-internet porno theater could identify with him, and his freakish endowment provided the necessary vicarious fantasy fulfillment the less endowed, but likely pot-bellied, audience sought. Unlike the cadaverously creepy John Holmes, he survived the “AIDS eighties” and is still active in the industry as a producer, director, and (believe it or not) occasional actor. One of his more recent “starring” roles was in a film entitled, appropriately, “One Eyed Monster.”
I showed this girl I am interested in a face and body photo of Ron Jeremy alongside a close up shot of my fully erect 5.5 inch penis, and to my utter dismay, she told me she would rather go to bed with me.
ron jeremy by A. Hick November 23, 2009
Abercrombie and Fitch
The world's most popular clothier for young males who are gay, or thinking of becoming gay. Bruce Weber, the iconic gay commercial photographer and protegy of legendary subliminal master J.C. Leyendecker, even employs John Wayne's offspring (son and grandson) as erotic lures for the brand. No wonder every fratboy and fratboi is wearing the stuff. It's hard to belive the company that today mainstreams playful homosexual escapism to white middle American mall and gym rats started out as a sporting goods store famous for selling rugged outdoor escapism to rich white paunchy middle-aged American power players. Teddy Roosevelt outfitted his safaris with A&F gear, and Hemingway may have even bought the gun he blew himself away with from them. Now the only guns featured in the catalogs are those that get blown during rush week.
I found a musty old Abercrombie and Fitch sporting goods catalog in my grandfather's rolltop desk. It was carefully placed underneath a tin box full of hand-tied flys and next to a "Popular Mechanics" issue featuring a clean cut, crew-cut youth on the cover showing off his rather large model rocket.
Abercrombie and Fitch by A. Hick September 14, 2008
boyopolis
Despite war, destruction, and reconstruction, Christopher Isherwood, if plopped down into the middle of the Nollendorfplatz of 2006 would easily recognize it as his Boyopolis.
Won Yung Gai Goo
Mom always gets a big hot bowl of Won Yung Gai Goo every time we go to Lo Dong's Buffet. She loves it, and I just don't have the heart to tell her what's in it.
Won Yung Gai Goo by A. Hick September 8, 2008
wrestling
1. (USA) A very popular form of televised burlesque entertainment. While arguably not as skilled as circus acrobats, "professional" wrestlers must possess considerable athletic skill in order to execute, without injury to each other, the carefully choreographed routines and set-pieces that form the basis of the shows.
2. A socially acceptable expression of public homosexual bonding, with ancient origins, now recognized as an organized sport at most secondary schools and universities, and by the International Olympic Committee.
2. A socially acceptable expression of public homosexual bonding, with ancient origins, now recognized as an organized sport at most secondary schools and universities, and by the International Olympic Committee.
If you think "Friday Night Smackdown" is outrageous, just imagine being in a dark, smoky Berlin nightclub crammed full of queer brownshirts and drunk, loud British Shriners on Holiday while a wrestling tag team of nude midgets with Down Syndrome flail away at each other in a huge mudpit, constantly egged on to more senseless violence by the crowd's catcalls and whistles.
Won Yung Gai Goo
Mom always gets a big hot bowl of Won Yung Gai Goo every time we go to Lo Dong's Buffet. She loves it, and I just don't have the heart to tell her what's in it.
Won Yung Gai Goo by A. Hick September 8, 2008
swimmers build
A term used to describe an athletic body type (i.e low body fat, flat stomach, etc.) in an online dating or chat profile. Mostly used in gay men's profile's online, the term has a generally positive or desirable connotation and covers all aspects of the "in shape" physique, not just the sport of swimming. Contrast with more disingenuous sports related body type euphemisms like linebacker build or football player build (fat), and runner build (skinny).
swimmers build by A. Hick September 7, 2008