A. Hick's definitions

ron jeremy

A pot-bellied, butt-ugly Jewish guy with a huge penis (around 9 “real” – not AOL inches) who was a porn superstar during the 1970s and ‘80s urban “grindhouse” heyday. He was ugly enough every man in American likely to venture into a seedy, semen-stained pre-internet porno theater could identify with him, and his freakish endowment provided the necessary vicarious fantasy fulfillment the less endowed, but likely pot-bellied, audience sought. Unlike the cadaverously creepy John Holmes, he survived the “AIDS eighties” and is still active in the industry as a producer, director, and (believe it or not) occasional actor. One of his more recent “starring” roles was in a film entitled, appropriately, “One Eyed Monster.”

I showed this girl I am interested in a face and body photo of Ron Jeremy alongside a close up shot of my fully erect 5.5 inch penis, and to my utter dismay, she told me she would rather go to bed with me.

by A. Hick November 23, 2009

swimmers build

A term used to describe an athletic body type (i.e low body fat, flat stomach, etc.) in an online dating or chat profile. Mostly used in gay men's profile's online, the term has a generally positive or desirable connotation and covers all aspects of the "in shape" physique, not just the sport of swimming. Contrast with more disingenuous sports related body type euphemisms like linebacker build or football player build (fat), and runner build (skinny).

WGM, 22, 6'0"/175# Brn/Grn, lean, tight swimmers build.

by A. Hick September 7, 2008

linebacker build

Euphemism for "fat" used in men's online dating and chat profiles. See football player build. Contrast with swimmers build.

WM, 38, brn, grn, 5"11", 220 lbs., solid linebacker build.

by A. Hick September 7, 2008

runner build

A term used to describe a skinny or gaunt body type in an online dating or chat profile. Mostly used by gay men (but not exclusively), the term does not actually refer to the lean muscular frame of sprinters, long distance or marathon runners, etc., but rather is a euphemism for an extremely slim body, often tallish, with little or no tone or muscle definition, i.e low body fat, but unfit. Compare with other disingenuous sports related body type euphemisms like linebacker build or football player build (fat), and contrast with swimmers build (toned or athletic body type).

29, 6'3", 140 lbs., br, br, trim, runner build, 8"c (NOT AOL inches). Sane, stable, software engineer. Mature for my age.

by A. Hick September 6, 2008

pig in a blanket

1. playful slang for an uncircumcised or intact penis with a long, thick foreskin covering most or all of the glans or head.
2. (USA) a tasty oven baked junk finger food hors d'ouvre made by wrapping a Vienna sausage in canned Pillsbury (or similar) biscuit dough so that only the very tip ends of the sausage are visable.

Tiger Woods may perform like a real workhorse on the back nine holes, but I'll bet that Sergio Garcia has a nice little pig in a blanket for the crucial shots.

by A. Hick September 7, 2008

AOL inches

A unit of measurement for determining the length and girth of an erect penis. Used exclusively by men (usually but not always gay men) in online dating or chat profiles, the unit, while not uniform, often corresponds roughly to 1.5 American or English system inches. For example a standard 6 inch long penis becomes 9 AOL inches, etc., though the "average" AOL inch length appears to be between 8-9. Despite the name, AOL inches are now used universally online, not just on AOL anymore.

36, 6'3", 190 lbs., br, br, buzzed, stache, regular guy here, 8.5"c thick (NOT AOL inches).

by A. Hick September 7, 2008

radnik

Term for a trendy generation x'er, circa early 1990s, who was into skater, tie-dye revival, coffee house lounge, or slacker-poet counter-cultures. Created by combining the skater term "rad" (short for "radical," and meaning essentially "cool") with the suffix -nik, as in "beatnik." Now quite passe.

Chad is just a sad 38 year old radnik who relives his youth with occasional amusement park bungee jumps, and his videotape collection of "Melrose Place" episodes and Ethan Hawke movies, and Nirvana CDs.

by A. Hick September 7, 2008