Definitions by A legit doctor. Not a joke.

cousinfucked 

A condition in which you can't do anything fun with your friends because your wife's family is in town and your kids "have to spend quality time" with their cousins.

Sorry Kevin. I'd love to come over and watch pre-season 49ers football but I am so cousinfucked this weekend. Maybe we can watch something next week after April and the girls leave town.

cousinfucked by A legit doctor. Not a joke. August 9, 2025

Monday morning cornerback 

An individual who retrospectively attributes their failures and disappointments to external factors rather than acknowledging their own contributions.

Ignore that guy. He's just a Monday morning cornerback. Never accepts blame for his own screwups.

Monday morning cornerback by A legit doctor. Not a joke. December 31, 2024

Swordfishing 

The act of deceiving someone online into wanting to have a duel. But when they show up, all they find is a fat chick with a laptop.

My sister keeps swordfishing dudes online. Every time the doorbell rings I find some Spaniard in a leotard holding a saber yelling "en garde!"

Swordfishing by A legit doctor. Not a joke. January 11, 2020