Definitions by 7Kev7

Bangers and Mash 

The contents of a well-used but badly flushed lavatory, the bangers (sausages) being the turds and the mash (mashed potato) being the bog roll.

"Cinders and ashes, Thomas, your coaches are a disgrace", cried the Fat Controller. "There's soot all over the windows, used tickets all over the floor and Clarabel's khazi is full of bangers and mash!"

Bangers and Mash by 7Kev7 October 19, 2007

Chastity Patch 

A small smear of excrement surreptitiously smeared on the back of one's girlfiend's neck before a girls' night out, in order to deter any would-be suitors.

The missus was going out on her work Christmas party the other night and that smarmy git from accounts was there, so I gave her a Chastity Patch when she asked me to fasten her necklace.

Chastity Patch by 7Kev7 May 16, 2007

Widow's memories 

Any phallic shaped fruit or vegetable, eg bananas, cucumbers, fingered lovingly and nostalgically by old ladies in supermarkets.

Just look at the way that old dear is caressing that aubergine. Bless her. Widow's memories, eh?

Widow's memories by 7Kev7 May 16, 2007